What newlyweds need to know or How to cope with relatives?
Wedding dress, white veil, pink lips, brown eyes.
For you the miracle from miracles came, for it you became the best of brides … As it is known the rough relations between the guy and the girl come to an end with
or a wedding, or everyone to the addresses. And if earlier before celebrating a wedding, young people needed to pass a number of the tests connected with this sacrament, then now a lot of things can be bypassed, and to present parents only with a fait accompli:
- Parents, I marry!
- Mother and the father, I marry …
such flippant attitude parents (say, my life that I want, I do) can ruin marriage further. Parents are people wise, but very exacting and if to young people it is important that they in the relations have now, then to the senior generation it is important that waits for their children in the future.
Parents are guided only by the experience and mistakes. For young people marriage - as a result of their friendly relations, a peculiar proof of eternal love and devotion. Though the great poet Yu. M. Lermontov wrote: to Love
, but whom?
for a while do not cost work, and eternally it is impossible to love … this
C, of course, it is possible to argue, but anyway, all points over “ And “ matrimonial life will place. And now newlyweds are a link between two families: parents of the husband and wife`s parents. There can be problems, often household plan.
The housing problem remains for many young couples open. At the beginning it is necessary to live with parents. Now come to a proscenium: the mother-in-law - the father-in-law, the mother-in-law - the father-in-law. It is impossible to please everyone, and the conflicts in a family to anything. It developed so that aversions of the son-in-law and mother-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are considered as traditional. As each mother wishes well to the child only, sometimes forgets that excessive participation in destiny of young people can lead to the family drama.
But our life paradoxes are peculiar, happens that the mother-in-law worships the son-in-law, and the father-in-law somehow everything with mistrust looks narrowly at the daughter`s husband. Often it is explained by big love to the child, fear that the daughter can offend, hurt it. The father, most often, does not want to understand that the daughter already grew up and she has the family.
Moment the first:
of the Daughter needs to explain to the father that she loves this person. He is (husband) - its support and protection, and this person is suitable for a role of the father of her children. Further the husband and the father of the wife need to talk as it befits real men.
Moment of the second:
Happens so that mother of the husband (mother-in-law) cannot find mutual understanding with the young daughter-in-law in any way. The love to the son - business clear, but sometimes such boundless love becomes a stumbling block in the family relations. It is known that two hostesses in one kitchen do not get on, and this household theorem is proved long ago. Rivalry is peculiar to women, and here it is not important any more, from - for whom: husband, son or brother. The main thing is a man. Mother (mother-in-law) considers that no other woman will be able to love her child as she. The mother-in-law at first tries to learn everything the young daughter-in-law, the authority of a svatya thereby undermines, then insists on the … from
In such situations that man, from - for whom, actually, all fuss suffers generally. Quarrels between two loving and beloveds are endured by it as painfully as repair. As a result in loss there can be both a mother-in-law, and the young wife. Worst of all, if the man begins to seek rest and a consolation elsewhere. Here then problems more abruptly, than in the Mexican series will begin, and the victory will be wise in hands of the woman. The young wife and mother of the husband needs to reach compromise, for happiness of the beloved husband and the son. It is a lot of work over itself, it is necessary to be able to hear, then there is a chance to be heard.
Moment the third:
Main in the family relations is a mutual understanding between all family members. If the young family lives with parents of one of spouses, then young people need to be able to make concessions, to somewhere keep silent, solve problems together. Parents, in turn, have to respect opinion of children and not deprive of them independence. It is impossible to split a family into two opposite camps.
If young people were lucky, and the housing problem was resolved, then both the mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law will be much softer in the councils, when in Rome do as Romans do. But as it will be good to gather at the big holiday table all family in the house of young people. Here the young hostess will also prove in all beauty.
Relationship - they on that and relationship that to study and be able to build them. And how? It already depends on the person. Popular wisdom says: “ The Tender calf of two uterus sucks “.