Offense. Why it is necessary to forgive?
“ Remember, nobody will be able to force you to feel humiliated without your consent “. Eleonor Roosevelt
Recently I heard such history - a parable: “ Once two friends argued, and one of them gave another a slap in the face. Having felt pain from blow, the friend told nothing, and only wrote on sand:
- Today my best friend gave me a slap in the face.
Continuing to go, they found an oasis in which decided to bathe. That which received a slap in the face nearly drowned, but it was rescued by the friend. When he recovered, he wrote on a stone: “ Today my best friend saved to me life “.
The one who gave a slap in the face and who saved life to the friend, asked it:
- When I offended you, you wrote on sand, and now you write on a stone. Why?
the Friend answered:
- When someone offends us, we have to write it on sand that winds could erase it. But when someone does something good, we have to engrave it on a stone that no wind could erase it “.
I very much liked final words. Really, the offense should not be saved in our heart and in our memory. Let all offenses disappear completely, they prevent to live and rejoice to all good, and good in our world it is much more, than bad.
“ Human defects are so various that you should not be surprised having met slyness in the person of respectable age “. S. Johnson.
Yes, all of us different and treat remarks and offenses differently, but the offense is not that feeling which helps us, it only disturbs. The offense arises only when we consider that we treated us unfairly, we were underestimated, did not consult to us, did not pay attention to us etc. It is saved in heart and every day, thinking of it, the person kindles this feeling in himself more and more. In this case the offense can develop also into hatred.
Aggression, rage do not allow to concentrate on something more important. Every day the person goes and thinks that he was offended. Negative thoughts begin to destroy it, he is nervous, is irritated, ceases to smile and can even get sick. It is considered that as a result of strong offense cirrhosis or even cancer can develop. And whether it is necessary? No. No. No.
Very often the offense on someone another develops into offense on itself. The person begins to think that he is guilty of the troubles as he somewhere kept silent, somewhere could not fight back etc. He begins to look for the company where it is possible to cry among same offended and humiliated. It cannot be done categorically. On the contrary, the company of people where there is a pleasure, fun where there are no offenses and deception is necessary.
“ The Consolation for unfortunate - to have companions in misfortune “. Aesop
Look for those who will help you to be adjusted on the necessary wave of a positive and love. The person who is not able to forgive, first of all, destroys himself, but not that on whom he is offended. And himself needs to be loved and respected, protected from negative thoughts.
Yes, to forgive very difficult, but it is possible. Actually it is not so heavy how it seems. The forgiveness is necessary in the future not to be ill and to feel worthless, superfluous, unnecessary. Having learned to forgive, the person has an opportunity to enjoy love of the family, to love most, to give pleasure. Only without knowing offense, the person understands that in his heart there is a place only for light and cheerful thoughts, for plans for the future, for feeling of satisfaction with life …
to learn to forgive, the person has to fall in love with himself and the people surrounding it.
1. Be not to yourself and to other people are aggressive.
2. Do not feel sorry for yourself.
3. Avoid self-criticism and do not criticize other people. Understand that all of us are imperfect, and each of us has the right for the mistakes.
4. Respect yourself and others.
5. Get rid of sense of guilt.
6. Accept yourself it what you are. Try to accept also the others. Believe that you are surrounded only by good people and so will be actually. And if only good people are near, then there will be nobody to forgive.
You remember words of the Reverend William Rayleigh: “ Very few people will miss an opportunity to mock “. But needs to learn not to notice and not to release negative words in the address them into the account of other people. The world surrounding us is a reflection of our attitude towards him therefore - there is more positive.