How to SURVIVE in a family communal flat?
Who does not dream, having created the cell of society, to fly away from the nest twisted by parents to twist the. Ideal option, but often unreal.
Statistically, 27% of the adult Muscovites who established the families are forced to live with the parents. There is no opportunity to acquire the housing or to remove others, and therefore it is necessary to huddle, be reconciled and cook in one, honestly acquired parental apartment.
Not surprisingly, but only a half thus of living, it is possible to resolve the arising intra family conflicts peacefully. The others are in eternal confrontation, without wishing to look for ways of reconciliation and without going on compromises. Put forward only the ultimatums, put the interests above interests of other family members, thereby provoking response of other cohabitants to whom too something can be it is necessary at the same time and in the same place .
So, a classical situation when the apartment is divided by two, and even more generation. And everyone at the same time has the habits, the mode, the outlook, eventually. And surprisingly completely has the right to all this wealth. Only for some reason it is the, as a rule, most difficult to closest relatives to agree. Here also they stand up for the rights day and night instead of sitting down in a drawing room and to light up a pipe of peace.
Each family member, even the smallest, has to have the personal space. Ideally - the room. But under the constrained circumstances, also the chair which was so comfortably standing near a window overlooking park, and a corner behind a case where the grandmother stores the orders will approach will become let illusory in respect of differentiation of space, but quite real “ the “ place .
It is sure, such places will be much in your apartment, and amicably or having cast lots, everyone will find for itself(himself) the cozy place which will be the.
And now the main thing governed : all have to know and understand that it the grandson a corner, and this grandfather`s chair, and nobody has the right to occupy it without the permission of the owner. Then each member of a big family will feel that he has a house and a strong big family, but at the same time if necessary to stay alone with himself, with the thoughts, he can always retire to the corner.
If a question of personal space somehow settled, then on the horizon there is another, not less important and essential - discrepancy of the modes, or, on the contrary, full coincidence.
Discrepancy of the mode
Let`s say the old man got used to get up early and turn on radio, enjoying the morning programs which are fallen in love for many years. And so is not enough for you hour or so - another for a full-fledged dream. What to do? Shouts you will not help business therefore for all it is better to solve this problem amicably.
But whether not to suggest the grandfather to transfer radio to kitchen, to close a door and to enjoy debate and councils there, so far the others examine the dreams? Or, perhaps, to buy the senior generation more advanced option of radio with earphones, to seat him in a favourite chair and let enjoys, without intruding upon leisure of the others?
Generally, options there is a lot of. Just include the imagination, find powerful arguments, and compromise will be reached.
Coincidence of the modeis much more difficult than
A here. What to do if both generations working and the working day at all begin at the same time? Respectively, there is a question how to divide bathing and toilet rooms that it was not offensive for anybody and at work the mark about delay was not received?
Here accurate distribution of time is necessary. Perhaps, it is worth establishing the schedule. While one are engaged in personal hygiene, start up others carefully make a breakfast in kitchen. Better since evening everything that is possible to prepare and check whether the sink was hammered, as in that advertizing.
Generally, whatever one may do, and not to do without dialogue and compromises. All arising disagreements need to be discussed, but not to save offense in itself that in one “ fine “ the moment to splash out them on relatives, remembering what is already forgotten by other family members.
Only listening to the interlocutor, putting itself on his place, it is possible to come to the mutual decision which will suit all interested parties.
In spite of the fact that at everyone the inner world, in some things, most likely, all family members are crossed. And for certain in love to each other! Therefore do not forget hackneyed, but from it not less wise phrase: protect what you have not to cry, having lost .
“ If you do not love too, so you love insufficiently “ Louis de Petie.