Outside a grass, on a grass firewood. Thriller. Part 2. (Nervous and to persons with absence of sense of humour not to read).
But the world not without kind people. So left also in my case. One my acquaintance living in the same area where I rent the house, probably for humane reasons borrowed me the passport that I could write out firewood on her name, and receive to the address. Firewood already sawn and chopped, with delivery and it is inexpensive.
Having rejoiced, on Tuesday in the morning, having asked for leave at work and having armed with the passport of the citizen …, I went to Gortop, the only institution in the city where the citizen with existence of a registration at the place of residence and oven heating in the house in which lives under the constitution has the right to scarce strategically important raw materials under the name “ firewood “.
Having not for long strayed on frozen streets, I found unsightly one-storeyed to a zdanyitsa, entered inside, shortly got acquainted with myriad of any resolutions, notices and announcements on his walls and as informed one of them under the name “ Fuel extract Order to the population “ went to sales department where uvidat the middle-aged lady with Pisa on the head, in a shabby quilted jacket, something discontentedly writing with a ball pen on some beautiful and, for certain, to very important paper, and the crooked man who sat before it, very clearly radiating obedient patience and servility.
Local sales departments and other departments too, any there Village Councils, mountains - and regional executive committees and other, are, as a rule with rare exceptions, some kind of standing bogs through which suffocating miasmata, are obviously felt both zhabya arrogance, and tsaplyachya importance and on which doors it is safely possible to hang up bible “ Give up hope vsyak entering " here;.
Having appeared in such place where all write something, knock on keyboards of computers, call by telephones, the person at first feels universal loneliness because though he also was to the address that to buy something, to receive or write out, nobody on it turns the slightest attention. Nobody invites him to sit down though all three chairs standing in an office are not occupied. Nobody asks it “ What did you want? “. Nobody smiles to it. And though it came and brought in a pocket or on the cash card money which will remove from its pocket to pockets of all these inhospitable people later, it for them till - almost the enemy who is forcing them to work by the sweat of the brow, taking away from them time from scrolling of glamourous magazines, from tea drinking and phone conversations.
“ Sorry, where I can acquire firewood? “ - by a loud voice as on a Communist Party meeting, I took an interest. For the passed nearly four years in this separated corner of European civilization where I had to solve all the problems, I managed to develop something like own tactics of behavior with local heads of a desk and bureaucrats. As showed my previous experience, an intellectual baby talk to which, because of education, I long time was inclined, they did not understand, and in reply were only rude and were rude. Silently, in a pose of the sacrificial innocent person to expect them expensive attention, and then with fussy haste to snatch on everyone them the let fall word as if the thirsty miser on inadvertently someone or misunderstood the scattered gold particles, having sense of guilt from the fact that I did not understand something, because of heightened sense of own advantage, to me was terrible in scrap too. Neither the first, nor the second advanced me to the set high objects, and simply - to the solution of elementary objectives.
The lady in a quilted jacket, without having made happy me with the light look, also diligently and slowly continued the epistolary study, and only the obedient and same shabby man before her darted the shy interested glance at me.
At last, in a minute this queen Gortopa added the novel, lifted on me the eyes are clear, and it is dissatisfied as if I already got on well at something before it to be guilty or to run into debt something to it, took an interest:
- You will separately take firewood or with a briquette?
- to me need only firewood - I not absolutely understood a question.
- I ask, you will take firewood separately or together with a briquette?
- And I answer you, I need only firewood - in its tone, I answered. - How many it cubes or meters will be?
- Four, - already more peaceful tone this room gorgona proshamkat, and the shabby man before it with even great interest looked at me again. The eyes covered by its frequent use of low-quality alcohol were mown in my party with easy delight of the person whose trampled honor could be shortly rehabilitated.
- Give the passport, - without looking at me, on syllables the lady said.
- Here, please. Only not my passport and me it is necessary that firewood delivered to other address.
The queen Gortopa watches at me as on the madman though my neigbour assured me that so becomes and him it do not care where firewood will be delivered.
Finally we agree, the lady in a quilted jacket draws me the check - a scrap of a piece of paper with a scribble, and I go to cash desk to pay “ Firewood is sawn, chopped, 4 cubic meters “.
In cash desk there is nobody. There was nobody still when I only came though operating time promises everyone to buy fuel that “ The Cash desk works from 8:30 till 16:00. On hours 9:10, but on that side of a tiny window there is nobody. I obediently become at a wall, I study a piece of paper - the check, then announcements on a wall. For me there is a woman.
The next office leaves the young-looking lady with standardly dissatisfied person - in such institutions the unwritten rule " works; To smile to Visitors, and in general to smile, it is strictly forbidden “ - also goes to the next office. I hail it: “ Sorry, you will not prompt where the cashier? “. The woman silently comes back to a door which just left and, having slightly opened it, carelessly throws: “ Evgenyevna, to you “.
More than ten minutes later, having knowingly exchanged glances with the woman that behind me, I understand that Evgenyevna does not hurry Now I go to the workplace to her (if the cashier does not go to the client, then the client goes to the cashier - east wisdom) and, having opened the door, loudly I say: “ Evgenyevna, you will approach in cash desk? “.
Evgenyevna, the middle-aged young woman (in that party, where I found a shelter, average age of the room worker - years 55 - 60 - percent of the working pensioners approximately same, as percent of university graduates) xerocopying some important piece of paper, gloomy from - under points, looks at me as if she wants to wither with a look, and silently goes to the kassirsky alcove. It silently takes my check, something writes, something brings, then sets the seals, then writes again and also silently puts to me some important pieces of paper for the signature. I put the cross, I thank Evgenyevna, again I go to sale, I learn whether I can see the driver to explain how to it to me to reach, and the street at us and houses perekhrenachit that so that I could not understand, than they there, in the high offices, were guided and what now number at my house. I find the driver, I explain to him in detail how to reach, and I am already going to hurry to myself for work as I am caught up not by the silent, but uneasy cashier Evgenyevna and mutters something about incorrectly written out consignment notes: “ It is necessary to you sawn and chopped, and I wrote out only sawn “.
We come back to cash desk, we are renewed, I pay extra couple of rubles, I am convinced that I all pieces of paper as it should be, and hurry on the bus. Though my heart exults, it nevertheless not on the place: I do not believe that confusion with consignment notes - the last stumbling block in this saga about firewood.
The working day goes off with a bang - at last I wrote out to myself firewood! Home I go with a sinking heart, guessing about myself what there waits for me: can, firewood unloaded not there? Perhaps at all not to that address brought? Perhaps did not bring at all? I am ready to everything.
But, uvidav open gate, traces of protectors on snow and a dark hill in the distance, I with relief sigh: brought! The driver, actually, accurately unloaded all four cubes directly near the house, without having crushed currant bushes, without having touched a rope with linen. Directly expert! Can, rascals when want!
Having heated the furnace the brought firewood until red, I spend evening, drinking tea with chocolates, in the finest mood, in a dressing gown as some east caliph. But at nine o`clock, as if the siren, is distributed a call, and in a tube I hear an uneasy voice of the neigbour who generously borrowed me the passport:
- You to me torfobrikt ordered? - almost hysterical she shouts in a tube. there is no
-. I ordered only firewood. To myself, - I answer, understanding that here it, the last, biggest stumbling block which is ready to lay down to me both on shoulders, and on heart, and, maybe, to set on a head.
- Me brought torfobrikt! - fatefully the neigbour in a pipe groans.
- But I did not order. Told them in black and white. There are simpletons! - I do not maintain. - I paid only for firewood. At me and in the consignment note it is written so down. And peat costs absolutely other money. They from you took money?
- Yes I also did not see them. The heap of peat came home just, and here.
I begin to laugh loudly, clapping myself on knees. What should I do? These haughty pettifoggers confused everything! Brought unpaid peat moreover to the one who did not order it! God you mine! And with what mumpish ugly faces they wrote out all the important bumazhention! As of high society as if turkey-cocks on a manure heap, walked up and down, imitating importance of process, intensity of work, the importance! No, I just cannot!
No, I love people. And mizantropichen I am not always. Altruism in me, eventually, almost as much how many and egoism, and it is much less, than a misanthropy. I always help the blind grandmother, other neigbour, to pass through our brisk autobahn. I do not pass by fallen - be they are drunk or to them it became bad. I feed up a neighbour`s dog, and she, the dog, loves me more, than the hostess. I never refuse to anybody at work, whatever request he to me handled. There is no person whom I would hate. There is no person at whom I would take offense. In a word, I am not the last rascal on this earth, the person - as all. Both it is sacred, and is guilty. But I have not enough to take down forces that nonsense in which I am almost every day forced to exist, beginning from a dash of madness at work and finishing all other debilizm and kretinizm with which everyday life teems!
Earlier, living in another, “ far from a modern civilization “ to the country, I thought that any Kartsev and Zadornov invent everything, lie about our, Russian people. Well, they cannot, the Russian people from which every tenth Kulibin of local flood, and every fifteenth - with two higher educations, to be such duroshlepa! They know the capital of Bangladesh, discuss the latest political news, know “ as it is necessary “ and “ as it is not necessary “.
It is the Yankee stupid. It at them in the State of Arizona it is impossible to lick toads, and in the State of Texas to take a shower in a suit. And at us both that, and another is possible! They - stupid! These are Germans heartless and robotic. And the Russian people heart-felt and on robots not so similar! These are Finns - slightly whitish, since morning drunk. And Slavs are the handsome! And such clever! Clever - that, clever, but why all at us somehow through … one place? As always.
How many I communicated with “ stupid “ Americans, never heard that they cursed the “ stupid “ laws, the “ stupid “ “ kaunt departmenz “ and stupid sheriffs. From Irish and British it was necessary to hear that the Irish whisky - shit, and Big Ben is not so majestic as speak about it. But that they wore the parliament or the “ public ofisiz “ - never. Germans abuse the soccer, Danes - deer on the carriageway, Norwegians - too narrow fjords, but none of them ever at my presence abused the authorities or the government. And many are even proud of them. Well, how it can be? Why they respect the stupid laws, and? Perhaps because stupid?