From where children undertake?
“ Mother has a paunch, as at the grandfather! “ - the little son gave out, considering a family album. On a photo I was seven months gone. Of course, for two years of an explanation that so far it was small, lived at mother in a tummy, quite was enough, but the trickiest children`s question will sound soon: “ From where children undertake? “ And still: “ Why at the aunt such stomach grew? It what, eats much? And - and, the baby. And that big-bellied uncle has a baby too! Is not present? Why?. “ It is possible to make effort and remember, of course, the wizard - a stork or a wonderful find in cabbage … Parents with the imagination tell about sale in shop, miracle tablets, even the order of children by SMS more richly!
As well as at what age to tell the kid about his birth?
Mummies perfectly know that interest in the body at the child wakes up very much early. In 8 - 10 months during air bathtubs kids pull handles to genitals. Terrible in it there is nothing, it is necessary just to take the handle aside.
Next time the delicate subject will emerge in 2 - 2,5 years. At this time the child actively studies the world around himself, compares himself to mother, the father, surrounding children. Be sure, constructing sand castles on the beach, dragging water in buckets, golopopy kids by all means will notice a difference among themselves. Also will ask a question. In 2,5 - 3 children begin to distinguish each other by gender. Should be told, a considerable role in it is played by kindergartens: “ Why boys pisat standing? “ It is a good occasion to tell the kid about sexual distinctions: mother, the grandmother, the teacher - women, and you, the father, the grandfather - men. It is important to emphasize an invariance of a floor and equivalence that the child had no thought that he has something not so or something is missing. From where you appeared? At first you lived at mother in a tummy, you were absolutely small, were able nothing … And now you grew up (children with pleasure admit the fact that they grow, become more) and now will not be located in a tummy. As a rule, such answer completely satisfies the kid of three years.
Later the child will have the following question: “ How I got to mother into a tummy? “ Years in five the child can be told how the father met mother as they fell in love with each other as they decided to live together. The emphasis should be placed on love, tenderness of parents, on their desire to have children.
The child already knows that there is a man and there is a woman, knows distinctions in their genitals. It is possible to tell, of course, that “ mother and the father just lie nearby and from it there are children “. And it is possible to allow also some details: the father`s seed (sunflower seed) gets to mother into a tummy, grows there, becomes absolutely little man. In a tummy to it it is warm and cozy when it grows up so that to it it becomes close there, mother and the father will go to hospital, and the doctor helps the kid to be born. Questions “ as “ “ show “ will not be a problem, by this time you already have to impart to the child consciousness that the person has places which are indecent for showing others. He is not starkers on the street?
If to school the child did not become interested from where children undertake, conversation should be started. Be not afraid, it is better to tell about it earlier, a chempozzha. Even if the child does not ask these questions so far. You do not think that he to a wedding will be interested in animated cartoons? Or that all “ itself will resolve “? You hurry to tell the child about it earlier, than it will be made by peers. Most likely, in the incorrect, distorted form that can lead to unnecessary fears and psychological problems. Of course, too you should not go into unnecessary details.
One more argument in favor of an initiative of parents in “ delicate “ to a subject: you will have an opportunity to be adjusted on conversation, to solve, as how exactly you will speak, to think over what questions the child can ask. Sometimes the imagination of parents knows no limit, and constraining mothers express so allegorically that confuses the child only even more. Be not fond, call things by their proper names, you do not want that the child heard an offensive language and began to use it instead of offered by parents “ peppers “ “ faucets “ “ berries “? You should not be confused questions. Children not always put in them that sense which is assumed by adults. If it interests the child, so he psychologically develops normally.
There are several rules which it is worth adhering to at discussion of a delicate subject .
- to overcome confusion to answer quietly, without irritation;
- not to postpone conversation if the child himself came to you with a question;
- not to be fond of details and excess details;
- to address the illustrated literature adapted for this age.
To the child there will be enough this knowledge till 10 - 12 years. During puberty it will be necessary to address a delicate subject again. Only if earlier to the child there was all the same which of parents will answer his questions, then at this age with the daughter mother, and with the son - the father has to speak .
The main thing not to close an eye to interest of the child, to let it know that in discussion of this subject there is nothing shameful, dirty or trite. Do not force the child to look for answers to the questions on the street! Let the belief in sincerity of the parents who are honestly answering all his questions accompany your child all life.