How to kill in itself the writer? A doctor`s advice of
Reception of patients with 9 to 17.
- Tuk - tuk. Hello. Allow to enter? there is no
- not you greet. It I for you. I am professor of the first medical institute Stepan Stepanovich Mikhaylovich - Leshchinsky. And you? Ah, journalist. Interview in the Internet - the " magazine; Future geniuses “ you want to take? Well. Welcome. Only desire to go out at first, and then to come as it is necessary. Writers, your mother … Are not present
, of course, we treat them, these writers. Current low-frequency, the laser, bathtubs besides mud not bad help. Dirt well sticks to writers, nurses hardly tear off then. Here in the next, sixth office, critics recover. So there generally enemas use. You will not cure the critic without enema, so much they shit in themselves carry, I will tell you.
And neither in the twentieth, nor in the nineteenth centuries of writers did not treat. There was no need.
Composed to itself in a table couple of thousands of mentally ill people all over the country - too to me a problem. Here now - epidemic. AIDS, only stronger. It is sure, the world wide web is guilty of everything. Gave the chance to be published right after writing, here an illness and extended literally for several years all over the country.
Same it is necessary! Some crank at himself in Uryupinsk sits and it is published on an equal basis with the member of the Writers` Union. Sholokhov is lousy. Already two hundred thousand such were gained, by the end of the year half a million will be, it is not less.
At first in our Ministry of Health decided that it is a slight virus, like flu. Only it is transferred not vozdushno - a drop way, and kabelno - network. Recommended to prescribe patients different soothing, bromine for the night, physiotherapy exercises. In a word, missed epidemic. Labor productivity sharply fell in the country. The plumber writes verses at night, is published in the morning, at work sleeps. Procurement engineer continuation “ War and peace “ in three parts composes, and production without pipes groans. Women stopped giving birth. Once, plots for stories think out. Generally, the general mess turned out.
The minister allocated a grant. To the institute which extinguished epidemic, promised half a million dollars. Only as you will extinguish it? To close the Internet - hands are short. It was necessary to find antidote.
Ya as the real scientist, perfectly understood that it was possible to understand a problem only in one way, to be influenced by a virus. In a word, decided to become at first the writer, and then to find this writer in itself and to destroy.
Well that, interestingly? Still. All right, read further.
to Become the writer it appeared very simply. Found in the Internet couple of articles on this subject. For example, “ As to the beginning writer to break through in netliterature “. Very I recommend. The plot fabricated, Word corrected errors. The novel was called “ At way “. No, not about Putin. About the prostitutes who followed the wrong way of development, but realized, eventually, all malignancy, united in labor union and paid taxes at the end of the novel. 700 pages the tenth size in only two weeks. Then, agreed with owners of several websites and in exchange for the promise to serve in the clinic according to the highest category received fine comments on the opus in the independent press.
The novel was untwisted month. Akunin, Dontsova and Ustinova were overturned in obscurity. Lemons cried with powerlessness, and Sorokin tried to take the own life.
In the end of the year gave at the same time Booker and Anti-Booker. On the horizon Stockholm loomed.
So I imparted to myself a writing virus. The virus which killed thousands of citizens of our country. The citizens who did not become good engineers, managers, throwers of a hammer. Not become from - for harmful addictions to writing to nobody the necessary opuses.
Remained the most difficult - to cure an illness. Homeopathic remedies, like tea with a camomile, did not bring any result. Addition in tincture cognac from fly agarics gave lasting hallucinogenic effect and led to writing of several stories in a fantasy genre. The illness sharply became aggravated.
Week accepted sleeping pill, the plot about the woman on rails dreamed. Having woken up, month did not come off the computer. When finished, it turned out that the novel word for word coincided with the known prizvedeniye of L. N. Tolstoy. It was necessary to burn in a fireplace. Felt Gogol and wrote the opus “ Live spirits “. About the first Chechen campaign. There ours one battalion took Grozny. Distances state award. Putin in the Kremlin handed.
The illness seemed incurable. It was necessary to go for surgical intervention. I as the scientist - the researcher, perfectly understood that it is necessary to cut out something from the organism and everything will settle into shape. But what?
Collected a consultation from the friends - acquaintances. Long conferred and came to, apparently, paradoxical conclusion. The gene of writing contains … Is not present
, I cannot tell. In a word, I decided. Decided only for the sake of science, for the sake of search of truth. Tomorrow operation. Tomorrow the whole world will understand how to fight against a new misfortune. Farewell, dear readers. I relieve you of need to read all that mess written by me during experiment. “ Upward you, companions, all in places, the last parade comes … “
P. S. At the last book fair in Frankfurt am Main the novel of the famous Russian writer Stepanida Stepanovny Mikhaylovich - Leshchinskoy " used huge success; From the deadlock “.