What is age norm in development of mentality of children? Part II
So, “ norm in development of mentality of children “ - the concept is statistical, revealed in the course of the psychologist - pedagogical researches in the conditions of the closed experiment in the middle of the last century.
For today these norms gained character of a standard as social and political shocks of the end of the twentieth century could not but make changes to psychology of children of a new century. Experts claim that for the last 15 years the tendency of increase in number of children with a delay of speech development or with obvious violations of development of the speech is observed.
One of the powerful reasons of such unfavourable statistics is psychological dependence of young parents from socially - an economic situation. The attention of the lion`s share not only fathers, but also our mothers absolutely still of young fellow citizens is directed not so much to emotional and moral health of the children how many on physical, on satisfaction of their especially utilitarian requirements.
Notice, the speech goes about families, safe from the point of view of sociologists, now, that is about where parents care about each other and for children, are not on friendly terms with alcohol and other misfortunes of our time. But without suspecting that, the excessive aspiration to material welfare adults slow down mental development of the children.
I will try to explain. The matter is that to the child, for example, with a delay of speech development to restore “ gaps “ mentalities sometimes happens rather continuous communication with the “ healthy “ peers (it is admissible, in kindergarten). But in conditions when the most part of children in this constant group speaks badly too or does not talk at all, the therapeutic effect of such communication is reduced to zero.
It means that parents need urgently to fill shortage of communication at the child, it is desirable under the leadership of the expert. That is why it is necessary to learn to observe balance between attention to “ satiety - odetost - obutost “ your child and attention to sequence and quality of its mental development.
If the child did not start talking by the end of the first year of the life, it is a serious occasion to see a doctor. It is also demanded by norms of age development. Not because the kid is obliged to do so and so at this age. But because the big difference between a standard and its mental reactions can be the certificate of any pathologies. And an illness, as we know, it is always easier to treat at early stages of manifestation.
These can explain also that else in the eighties the last century age norms were an obligatory indicator of development of children. Parents together with the child prepared for preventive visits of the doctor literally, as for examination. And today norms have advisory nature.
Supporters of humanistic psychology according to whom adults cannot but recognize the right of the child for identity won. And not only because it is proclaimed in the Declaration of the rights of the child.
“ The Child is a guest in the house. He can be loved and respected, but it is impossible to dominate over him because it belongs to life “ - it the rule is formulated by the people standing at the origins of world culture. Hindus wrote down it in the ancient books (Veda) long before our era. It grants to the child the right to be such what he is, and to develop at that speed what is convenient to it.
One more rule was born in psychology last century: “ The baby came to this world not to meet expectations of the parents “. Each child brings the purposes, the tasks to the world, it has to pass the way. Parents can help it to disclose the identity, to approve uniqueness of his personality, to pass with it together its way (if they wish that), but not to do it for it.
Be not afraid to spoil him love! The child has to feel that he is loved. If it is surrounded with attentive care and the gentle relation, then it develops basic trust to the world. And it is the base two the most important “ buildings “ human soul: attitudes towards and attitudes towards other people.
On the basis of trust at the child the positive attitude towards itself is formed: “ I am loved, so I am good “ confidence, ability it is correct to estimate the forces and opportunities (an adequate self-assessment), initiative. Also, on the basis of trust, it will build the relations with surrounding people.
If at the kid the basic trust to the world is not developed, then and he will treat himself badly, will grow up disturbing, uncertain in the forces, gloomy, stubborn, aggressive. Will treat people watchfully, timidly. Such relation often adjoins to a capriciousness, obstinacy, pugnacity … Love the kid quiet and active love - it is an indispensable condition of his happiness!