How it is polite to refuse?
Ability to refuse cost much. First of all personally to you. As to refuse and not everyone is able to feel a remorse at the same time.
It is clear, that never to refuse to anybody just it will turn out. Always there will be those who will need your attention, an arrangement, time, money and even freedom. But life - that yours! And you have on it plans. As often they do not coincide with plans of people around.
Your regular customer asks a huge discount which he you cannot give him, otherwise your company should work to the detriment of itself.
You planned a family dinner today, and your boss urgently calls you in office. At the same time you perfectly understand that business can wait till the morning.
Your friend made you the proposal, and you are not ready to accept it.
Your colleague asks money as a loan, and you already planned all budget.
How to refuse to all these people, having kept at the same time good relations? How it is polite to refuse?
Ability is firm to say no - a component of self-confidence. The confident person will also refuse competently, and right there will quietly explain a cause of failure. Not invented, not inflated, quite obvious.
In fact if you agree to make something and you do not do because you cannot initially make it, you give to the person hope. Also you deceive him … Better everything would be placed in places at once. But you for some reason are afraid to refuse.
And as often you concede to the importunate seller in shop and as a result you buy absolutely unnecessary thing.
In the prime causes of fear of refusal we will not dig. Most often uncertainty in itself is the cornerstone. Sometimes there is not enough will power …
So, learn to refuse politely.
1. you do not hurry with the answer. Consider all Pros and cons. Analyse all options. What for you this offer is fraught with? Why all of you decided to refuse? Arguments have to be iron.
2. Refuse only after you find forces and internal determination.
3. Refuse firmly, but it is not rigid. “ I cannot give you this sum of money … “ Do not make advances, try to speak with confidence and quietly. Otherwise the interlocutor will think that you just bid up to yourself or hesitate and will insist on the.
4. Reason the refusal. “ I cannot accept your offer as I consider you the good friend “ “ I cannot lend money as has to repay the loan until the end of a month “. Only do not lie! Your lies will get out right there. And conscience will torment even more.
5. Make pass - a compliment: “ It is pleasant to me that you asked me for the help “. “ Only very strong people " can do Such offers;. Only do not make advances, do not coquet, otherwise this refusal will be apprehended as hope. Difficult? Study! Psychology of the relations always work.
6. Prompt the way out. “ I will not be able to arrive to office, already late now and I am busy. Tomorrow since morning I will come on an hour earlier and by all means I will prepare the necessary papers for negotiations “. “ I will not be able to lend you this sum as I bought a large thing today, but I know one credit cooperative where to you will help to issue this sum for a year “.
7. Always you speak in a friendly form, you are not rude and do not answer aggressively. Your task - to keep the relations with the interlocutor.
8. Never use the word - irritants - such as “ a problem, a mistake, delusion, on the contrary, it is wrong “ and so on. To learn what words become those anchors of irritation which spoil any conversation, pronounce them aloud and listen to the feelings. Try to replace these words on positive and vital.
9. remembers the last phrase and your vis-a-vis has to have pleasant aftertaste from conversation, but not bitterness of refusal. “ Thanks for understanding, very much I hope that my refusal will not be able to spoil our further relations. I am always ready to help you, you know! “.
Refuse elegantly! But refuse only when you cannot really make something. Ability is important to refuse not less in time, than in time to agree. Good relations with people cost very much. Sometimes your refusal can just keep them.