Outside a grass, on a grass firewood. And you bought firewood?
“ Outside a grass, on a grass firewood “ - tongue twister, which to me so far too hard.
If I was told that bananas in the Republic of Ecuador are national property and they can be got only after you get for that the special permission given by local rural committee on the place of a registration, I would not believe for anything. As there is a lot of bananas in Ecuador and the more so there is a lot of them for ekvadorianets. If declared to me that a sugar cane in Cuba, and coffee in Mexico - objects of strategic appointment and to their purchase needs to secure with what we is very transparent we call the foggy German word “ protection “ I would show to such storyteller a fig in a pocket. And even two. But here, the fact that in somebody a corner of our once immense homeland, firewood probably is both national property, and strategic raw materials on which acquisition both the registration, and the reference from the Village Council in the place of a registration is required and protection - I was not ready. In any case “ it is not ready “! I just again am close to very long paroxysm of my favourite misanthropy from which it is harder and harder for me to pull out himself for hair as once it was done by the liar baron Myunkhgauzen.
And though history very banal - also let it will not seem to dear reader simple grumbling zakushavshegosya mister whom do not feed with fat - let`s grumble a little - history very topical as to your obedient story-teller threatens to remain in a cold hut in the middle of winter. And everything is simple because though it and has enough a security (language somehow does not turn to call this the word “ money “) on payment of wood fuel, but all procedure of acquisition of this valuable material (from it what, is built by space shuttles or the Baltic aircraft carriers?) it is so confused and bureaucratical that it is simpler to throw all this confusion to the yadrena the hair dryer and to go to be heated to Africa.
The summary of this modern comedy with elements of the antique tragedy (obscene great and mighty where it turned out, it is lowered):
Friday. 13:00. Learned in help number of the next to me of a leskhozzag. Called. It is busy. Again called. Again it is busy. At 15:00 phoned. Explained to me that it “ not mine “ leskhozzag and that it is necessary to call in “ the “ leskhozzag. At 16:00 learned " phone; the “ leskhozzaga. On my question “ Whether It is possible to buy from you firewood “ I was answered “ It is possible, but not sawn and without delivery “. On what I as it is possible answered “ I need sawn and it is obligatory with delivery “. What I was answered “ We can help Nothing “. That is it is necessary to look for the car, and then still to saw on packs and to cut for firewood. I know what is it and therefore I have no big desire and time to buy the whole trees, and then to clean them. And where to look for the car - I do not know too. Here such I unadapted to this severe life. (Here I shed an avaricious man`s tear). At 16:30 I chuck in from all force firewood and I go home to dopalivat the rest of my vivifying fuel.
On Saturday I learn from the neigbour whom the other day brought the whole car of sawn firewood where and after what she took them. The neigbour, terribly grimacing, in a whisper hints (as if on the lop-sided column near her hut surely there have to be ten - another “ bugs “ and, at least, two - three disguised video cameras): “ The Son-in-law helped “. “ And how many paid that, the hostess? “. Again grimacing as if to it cramped a jaw: “ Yes at you that so will not turn out “. “ But nevertheless. And where to find such protection that also I was made happy? “ - horror as I am interested. The grandma gives number, being confused as the maid at a wattle fence under the moon. The figure inspires.
Monday. 10:00. In help I learn number of other leskhozzag. I call there and compassionately I ask to help with firewood. Firewood is sawn, but without delivery - it is necessary to look for the car. Already best of all. Much better. Only where to find it, the car? That that from two tens neon boards “ Delivery of firewood in any point. Every tenth trip - it is free “ along the road on which I go every day home I cannot choose necessary to me in any way. Pale they some, perhaps?
Monday. 12:00. Advise me to address in Gortop. Who this companion Gortop - I do not know, but his name is pleasant to me. I learn Gortop`s number, I call there. “ Please - the tender maiden voice answers me - the car will cost you all in … “. Not, not the rights Alexander Sergeyevich existed, happiness, nevertheless, is. And not just rest and will. And companion Gortop manages happiness. “ And firewood chopped “ - a spring streamlet the maiden voice flows. Ah, chopped. “ And with delivery “ - sings a voice. With delivery. “ And it is cheap “ - I, seemingly, in paradise, but not in severe market reality. And what girl pleasant. “ When it is possible to arrive to you? “. “ Then - that is and call the address - only take the passport with yourself. “ And passport, what for? “. “ As, what for? That a registration it was visible “. What, on figs, my registration has the general with firewood? “ And what you are firewood - only on a registration? “. “ And as! “ - the maiden voice sounds as woman`s thumped. “ And I am registered there - and there - … “. “ Then it is not necessary to you. Address in the place of a registration “. “ Listen, but I do not live there. I live … “. “ What difference where I live? Why I have to be attached to the place of a registration? If I am registered in the village Pupkovichi where three yards and ten old men, I what, has to there both work and be treated, and itself to write out firewood? And if there crude firewood, and I want dry? And if there not to get firewood at all? And if there only a cowshed with three cows, and I on educations the philologist - the linguist, me what, to train cows in languages? And with the hernia to the veterinarian to go to reception? “. Shorter the old woman - the misanthropy began to cajole me again, and I horror as wanted to bite somebody. Painfully - it is sick. I send to
With absolutely nasty mood all in …., e - e - e, in a bath, I flop for the computer and furiously I click a poor mouse as if I press on an automatic machine trigger. Involuntarily it is also banal companion Bender in " is remembered; Gold calf “ with one million in the middle of Asian barkhans. Money a great lot, and nothing on them you will buy. Because not selling we, tovarisch! And even to wipe these bank notes, companion Bender, not comfortably. Oh, as uncomfortablly! Anything they do not suit for.
Tuesday. 11:00. Hardly I force myself to call the Village Council in the place of a registration again. “ We cannot give the Extract on receiving firewood to you. You are registered in the house without oven heating “ - tells the automatic machine on that end of a wire. “. lyad! But I live in the house with oven heating that! “. I ring help again, I find through one - another - the third some number of some driver, I call him. Drove promises to think. About - about - about! He will think still! The man, I pay you money for delivery of devil`s firewood! Also I do not bargain! And you promise to think and can be to call back?! Man, you mudak! Who told that we will well live? Who in general gave a hint that we somewhere there near healthy capitalism?! No, I brought up in the spirit of the backward Turkmen marketing intercourses at a vague dawn of disintegration of the Great Scoop, understand that to me still to regress and regress to grow to the level of a soobrazhalka of these sharks of capitalism!
I never thought that in the territory where about 80% of lands - the woods where a half of the population is still warmed, as well as their grandfathers and great-grandfathers, with firewood and where you by fair means as the law-abiding citizen paying astronomical taxes, you want to buy not for resale or illegal processing, and for own heating, the car of firewood, it is necessary to exercise the wit, collect some idiotic and humiliating your human dignity references under the name “ I am not a camel “ to look for protection and to prove elementary for the five-year-old child: “ I need so and so. And I want to know where for lawful remuneration, I can receive it “.
PS. I dare to dream up one for the road: if in any country - no matter civilized it or economically developed - at a half of the population is on something demand, then under laws of applied economy there has to be an offer. Well, it was just like that moved from Tutankhamun. Demand gives rise to the offer as the generous earth gives rise to bread.
Also I dare to assume that under laws applied - very applied - economies if there are a demand and, therefore, the offer, then there has to be also a competition. Choice. Here is cheaper. And here discounts. And here with delivery. And here with bonuses. And here, and here, and here … I will Also dare to assume
that if in any country there is a prosperity of any resource - not very well, natural, scientific, human - that, this country can and has to use this resource for receiving profit, but not due to shortage of this resource for needs of the country. That is, on roads of the country exporting oil to all corners of the world, people should not go by donkeys.
Continuation of history - here.