How to learn to be pleasant to itself? “ I am a problem “
are difficult to meet the person who would be concerned never by problems of own appearance. All of us want to be pleasant to people around, and it is correct. Now, if you have some defects of an exterior, congenital or acquired, at your service the whole army of experts. Here both plastic surgeons, and dermatologists, and cosmetologists, and nutritionists, and many others.
All together or someone separately, they will be able surely to help you. And here what to do in cases when defect not in appearance, per se, and in your her own perception? If above-mentioned experts admit own powerlessness and persistently convince you that you are beautiful, and you so do not consider, try to help yourself by means of some councils.
Dysmorphophobia a sort from the childhood
the Problem is that very often people, in particular women, so strongly exaggerate own defects of appearance that it is necessary only to be surprised. The most young ladies at the age of 14 - 18 years are especially radical in this question. Thus, it is possible to draw a conclusion that matter not so much in appearance how many in her personal perception, and it is already psychological problem about which it is worth talking seriously.
On the one hand, this absolutely harmless and quite constructive concern, but, on the other hand, only to certain limits. Too strong concern in the appearance can develop into a mental disorder - dysmorphophobia, especially at early age.
Certainly, for each person important as he looks and as far as attracts attention of an opposite sex. But, trying to improve the body, some reach extremes: do themselves difficult plastic surgeries, go on the hungry diet bringing to extreme exhaustion are engaged on exercise machines, literally before loss of consciousness etc. But here about it most of people, unfortunately, does not think of what consequences of similar efforts will be and does not wish to think. As a result, enough often such enthusiasts appear on reception at the psychologist with complaints to a depression. For example, after plastic surgery of the person.
In case of the young girl usually everything begins with the fact that since the childhood there is any insignificant defect of appearance: whether it is a small scar on a face, whether a birthmark or a small hump on a nose. Perhaps, parents in the childhood focused too much attention on it. And, as we know, the self-assessment is formed generally in the first five-years period of life. In any case, at teenage age the inferiority complex concerning the appearance develops and the desire appears as - nibud to change it.
Then, for example, after absolutely innocent quarrel with the guy or owing to any other reasons, young creation comes to a final conclusion that the main reason for its troubles in its unattractive exterior. Then the decision to perform plastic surgery is made. But result often - the tragedy and disappointment.
The young man who liked to be pleasant can not estimate this victim owing to the inexperience or an elementary carelessness. In turn, the girl after operation, as a rule, is not pleasant to herself. Features of human mentality are that. Or it is disappointed that she so suffered, and in her life and in her mood nothing changed. It fluctuates between desires to return everything as was or to perform other operation, having changed now, for example, a section of eyes.
Exaggeration of defects of the appearance with the subsequent desire to perform plastic surgery, without indications, serious to that, belongs to the category of dismorfofobiya. Dysmorphophobia is a frustration which can be expressed also in distorted, exaggeratedly negative, perception of separate part of the body, followed by a depression, sleeplessness and alarm. Most often defects in appearance contact a face, a nose, hair, a breast or genitals. Therefore the doctor to whom the patient appeals to perform plastic surgery, has to estimate need of such operation and, perhaps, to consult with the psychotherapist. Especially, if age of the alleged patient still absolutely young.
Researches show that patients with dysmorphophobia have an image of the body which is present at consciousness of each person (a so-called physical image “ I “) it is strongly distorted, as is the reason of extreme discomfort. Physical image “ I “ - this with what we see ourselves, we realize and we feel. On this physical image “ I “ the psychological image " is imposed; I “ in the form of a set of ideas that I for the person.
And physical and psychological images “ I “ in total form “ I - the concept “ person. Thanks to it the person understands who is he and why he. After plastic surgery a physical image “ I “ becomes even more other than reality, and it leads only to an aggravation of earlier existing problems. Looking at itself in a mirror, the patient does not recognize himself and asks: “ Who is it? “. And to create newly the lost image of, to get used to the new person, the person needs to pass a long way, and often together with the psychotherapist.
And therefore whether it is simpler to try to accept itself it what you were created by God. So to speak, to bring into accord the ideas of itself with itself real, without resorting to expensive services of plastic surgeons.
But not all people are able to accept and love themselves such what they are. Someone considers himself ugly, someone too thick or too thin. And business at all not in as far as you are objectively beautiful or not. Just to your parents or someone who tried to replace them it seemed in due time that it will be correct “ objectively “ to tell the child about merits and demerits of his appearance, emphasizing at the same time that it is necessary to fight against shortcomings. As a result of such education the child feels unloved and thinks that, usovershenstvuya the body, he at last will deserve parental love. Then - that is also formed an inadequate image “ I “.
It is much more correct to inspire in the children thoughts of their originality, uniqueness and appeal. And it is important to remember at the same time that children are very sensitive to falseness in words. But, if parents show sincere sympathy for the children, kids feel beautiful and favourite and become successful and beautiful adults subsequently.