What manipulators and what their contrast are? Everett Shostrom has
the remarkable, in my opinion, book “ The Person - the " manipulator;. I think, to you, dear readers, for the lack of time to read this quite volume book, it will be interesting to read this article. Perhaps, reading article just will also induce you to examine Shostrom`s work closer.
Ya I will try to describe the types of manipulators allocated to scientists. So!
1. The manipulator - the dictator. This is a peculiar tyrant, to the right and on the left distributing decrees, pouring hails, threats. He seeks to operate, mistreat people around by means of a brute force of the severe and cruel word and, of course, action. Such manipulators often yearn for power, and, having received it, use all the despotism.
2. The manipulator - the calculator (calculator). Such person in communication with people constantly looks for benefit, its intentions of a korystna. He something calculates all the time, gains, wishes to remain “ in the advantageous situation “ in any situation. He does not know simple sincere companionship, care and participation in destinies of relatives.
3. The manipulator - a rag. Submits all the infantilism, carelessness, lack of will, weakness. Wants that felt sorry for him that were near only it, itself creeps and wishes that crept near it. As if cruelly it sounded, as an example it is possible to cite the coddled woman who is always complaining about the headache reproaching members of household with callousness, an inattention to the person.
4. Stuck. This manipulator seeks to be conducted, operated, directed. It is weak too and bezvolen. But unlike “ rags “ (the egoist, the small blackmailer), stuck it is really weak, lazy, importunate.
5. The manipulator - the judge. Eternally with everything it is dissatisfied, condemns and blames the whole world, attributes to each person imaginable and inconceivable sins, sees in everyone the enemy, the liar, goes with “ the condemning face “.
6. The manipulator - the defender. It is ready to screen, justify any act of the loved one. So, “ kind “ grandmother of the grandson of darling “ does not give in offense “ to parents, does not punish, praises for any action and the word, thereby spoils the child, prevents it to develop as the well-mannered person.
7. Nice guy. This manipulator strikes on the spot the kindness, but kindness its insincere, is sugary to excessive sweetness, is persuasive. Such person, lovely smiling, it is ready to go to any meanness. The people who are contacting to it and had from - for it troubles, are surprised that false kindness so dexterously bribed them.
8. The manipulator - the hooligan. This person got used “ to bring order “ in the environment by means of fists, aggression, forces, deboshirstvo. It smashes everyone and everything if someone does not agree with it.
According to E. Shostrom, such personal qualities as lie, falseness, mistrust, dispassionateness from people are characteristic of any manipulator.
Shostrom subdivides all manipulators on active (the hooligan, the dictator), passive (a rag, stuck), competing (calculator) and indifferent.
Contrast of the manipulator is an agent. Who is it? What qualities such person possesses?
the Agent seeks for self-realization, to the embodiment of in society, for active impact on reality and to harmony with it. He is master of his own live and the master of fate, and this happiness does not try to construct an agent at the expense of others and “ on bones “ people around, he uses “ reserves of the soul “ to become successful and happy.