What tell gifts about? Part 2
to Give and receive gifts - psychologically very much “ thin “ thing. It would seem if someone, risking itself, rescues (otherwise it is possible to tell, gives) to you life, then you have to be to it eternally grateful. And in life often there is everything on the contrary.
The American sociologists collected and analysed big statistical material: they studied married couples in which one of spouses once Saviour of another - and literally: pulled out from fire, did not allow to drown and so on. And what appeared? Feels deeper and strong affection for the partner, strangely enough, not rescued, and the savior - he risked life for the sake of darling. So draw reasonable conclusions.
Unfortunately, gifts happen different, and we not always truly estimate their hidden sense. So, the gift can be given purely from ritual motives (“ it is so necessary “) and it is apprehended as a true sign of attention. There are gifts - bribes which are given with the purpose to receive from you some benefit. There are so-called expiatory gifts which men try to calm the sick conscience, to wash away guilt and so on.
Of course, all this is fine, but how to be with practical conclusions? And conclusions are that. In - the first, never hesitate to accept gifts from men, always rejoice to the most insignificant knickknack: your encouragement put into words with a mimicry, gestures on feedback mechanisms will support liking which takes in relation to you giving.
In - the second, you should not be afraid always “ too expensive “ gifts, be not too suspicious, at all not necessarily it means that you buy. If you are able to build the normal relations with people, such gift will mean only the fact that to you - and in a bigger degree to themselves, without any ulterior motive - want to make pleasant. The more for you your admirer, the beloved, the husband will do, the he will be better to treat you. “ Back “ the thought appears only when both parties, both accepting, and giving, attach too great value to material aspect of a question.
However, now, the exaggerated attitude towards this aspect of life is characteristic for enough many people. Therefore it is impossible to dismiss their motives.
So that the man it, say, pragmatical usually thinks, type, making expensive gifts.
“ You Look, I have money “. He already put on a gold chain a neck, prestigious hours on a hand, bought expensive car. And now shows that a smart bouquet of flowers to the casual companion - for it the costing nothing trifle. There is an unconscious motive: “ You Look, I can, I have a potentiality... “.
Sometimes expensive gifts to the woman is an ordinary flirtation from the man who except the purse nothing another cannot carry away the woman. It is simpler to it to fill emptiness with money, than to interest the woman in own personality.
However most often expensive gift at men of this kind is a direct application for the woman: “ You are my property. I you bought “. And it extends not only and not just to intimate relations. The man, thus, seeks to suppress the woman as the personality, to make her by the next acquisition. In this case can be you should not hurry to call “ miser “ the gentleman who does not hurry to be spent for the lady too. It is quite possible that he just respects her, grants her the right most to make some decisions and does not want to buy her. And also it is sure that he and in itself will manage to attract the partner, without squandering money.
The man does to the lady rare, but rather expensive gifts, gives her money - because zhdetot it reciprocal financial actions. Especially if it is rather poor. And if the lady tries to pay off for received by proximity, such man will be very disappointed...
Women such pragmatical type think approximately following.
“ I am ready to be your property “. The woman is consciously sent to the power of the patron - the sponsor, and not only in sex. She wishes that he in principle took the responsibility for her life and wellbeing because he most often is afraid to dispose of own destiny independently. The strong defender and the patron is simply necessary for it, she is ready to obey him and to take everything that he will offer.
“ I give it myself, let and it shares the property “. It is the point of view of the mistress who from intimate relations with the patron does not derive any pleasure. The logic is simple: time I work for you in a bed - you have to pay.
“ I - its expensive “. The point of view of the woman which consciously squeezes out expensive gifts from the man to attach him to itself. “ He spent for me so much, really after that will throw? “ The Most interesting that often such women suffer serious disappointment: gifts were valuable only to it, and for the rich friend - not too.
Besides, there are very demonstrative women who especially do not reflect that the generous gentleman wants from them: they just take gifts because “ all girlfriends will die of envy now! “ Consequences of unreasonable casing do not concern them in principle.
Well and if the woman of the above-named type gives to the man expensive gifts, pays for the man? Here too there are the reasons which are often not lying on a surface.
It means that the woman has aspirations to pass with this man to the relations “ mother - the son “: “ You do not care for anything, darling, I will pay all these trifles “. The main task of such woman - to hold the man about itself, having shown as with it it will be convenient to him. By the way, if this man soon ceases to provide himself, even on a trifle, for example, will be constant to ask the darling that she bought him “ " beer small bottle; - means, she achieved the. The small bottle is usually asked by children from mummy.
In the majority, however, the woman who is spent for the man just wishes to catch it. And besides, it is not obligatory in a bed. Actually, she buys not so much him how many an opportunity to predominate in this couple. And the man allowing the lady to pay for himself declines, thus, all responsibility for development of their further relations. Like, you invest money in me - you and risk the capital.
Thus, options the set is possible and if life dictates you need to understand true motives of your partner, then it is better to call to the aid the expert.
And the last: you remember if long to elicit a gift and, at last, to starve the donator out, it will not be gift in pure form any more. Perhaps, it will also be pleasant to you to receive it, however to give - already not so pleasantly. Mercantile calculations cannot serve as a feeling symbol. Therefore never demand anything from the man close to you - just create such conditions that it was pleasant to it to make for you anything though to get a star from the sky. Only do not forget to reward then it a smile, the kind word, a kiss - and it will be “ it is truly yours " forever;.