How to learn “ not to redden “?
“ Do not pay attention to me, I redden! “
As it is frequent, especially at teenage and youthful age, some people suffer from the fact that they at the slightest pretext and without cause redden, only they and that can tell not everyone. But those whom this problem concerned, understand as far as it sometimes seems unsoluble.
At first sight it is unclear why it occurs., It seems, there is no need to have complex: a good figure, a beautiful face, with the social status everything is all right. And any shyness and constraint. And in the new companies health quite within norm. Only this mean flush which is filling in cheeks … Any who suffers from this misfortune would give a lot of things to reddening as cancer!
But you redden when you are called at school or at institute to a board, redden when it is necessary to step on the stage, redden, it is worth looking steady or asking on you a question; you redden when on the street you meet any of acquaintances, you redden when conversation comes about love or about something intimate. You try to lie never, but all the same you redden. Generally, all that somehow affects you or concerns, at once causes reddening. And you nothing, well can do nothing with it at all! And most important: it seems to you that all laugh at you!
As a result the desire to raise a hand at lessons, to meet acquaintances and strangers, to be the focus of attention etc. vanishes. It very much disturbs in any relationship. And the person who first was not considering himself timid, and the more so closed gradually that becomes. And if someone from foreign or close people at the same time still guesses to say aloud “ that you so reddened or reddened! “ the situation directly - reaches a deadlock.
By the way, any, even small physical activity, too usually causes face reddening in people of this kind. For example, when you bend to tie laces, the person surely reddens.
As to cope with it
the Described reaction everything is is a consequence of sociophobia, fear of communication in spite of the fact that it is externally imperceptible that the person differs in big shyness and constraint. Sociophobia, according to psychologists, is a reverse side of the thirst of communication peculiar to any person as to a being social. It is more characteristic of actors, musicians and other creative persons whose calling consists in shining before public. However, usually it is cold comfort for those who suffer from this illness.
The fact that Europeans redden only the person can serve as one more small consolation, and representatives of hotter regions of the planet where always wore much less clothes, redden all over. So we still were lucky, but also it, probably, inspires a little.
Similar manifestations (except reddening of cheeks, are possible still the increased perspiration of palms in situations of nervousness and other symptoms) can deliver many unpleasant minutes, especially in youth. And if directly to stop reacting it here in the way often not in our forces, then to learn to cope with own confusion it is necessary also for perhaps each person. For this purpose it is enough only a small amount of patience and persistence, and the result will not keep itself waiting long.
Of course, completely it is impossible to exclude such specific reaction of vessels to external irritants which, quite possibly, is hereditary, however extent of its manifestation you can quite learn to reduce.
If you try to penetrate more deeply into the feelings, then will surely notice that at first you have some vague feeling in cheeks, perhaps, the pricking, at the same time cheeks redden, and then you are covered by the confusion which in turn was even more strengthening a rush of blood to cheeks. In medical language it is called a vicious circle, or the vicious circle characteristic of development of any, even the most insignificant, neurosis. You redden, it confuses you, and you redden even more.
Therefore your task consists in that to break off this circle. And it is expedient to break off it regarding psychological as to learn to operate the vascular reactions much more difficult. Thus, you need to learn to operate the confusion.
How exactly? There is a remarkable reception which is recommended to be used in each case when you feel that you lose control over the events: to a proartikuliruyta it, tell aloud about what you feel. For example, if you were confused with a sudden question, then do not become silent in confusion, and directly tell: “ You confused me “.
It is possible to think up the good coquettish phrase about your flush, and every time to tell it when somebody starts talking about it. That`s all.
So, it is shorter and is consecutive.
1. A problem not that you redden, and that it seems to you that from - for it all laugh at you.
2. The flush causes in you irritation also because it seems to you that it gives that you want to hide: your shyness, indecision in the company, etc.
3. You remember, in a flush there is nothing bad, you know it, you about it more than once were told therefore safely convince of it others.
4. It not forever, over the years similar vascular reactions are usually shown much more weakly and less often.
5. As the situation is repeating, use it. Think up remarks which you will say when someone pays attention to your flush. You have a remarkable chance to pass for witty.
6. Remarks can be the most different, dream, you create, try, choose that suits you more. The main thing, in them you have to proartikulirovat that you redden, that is to say it aloud.
As an example several such remarks:
- I redden to seem innocent.
- I redden that you paid attention to me.
- I redden not to look too faultless.
- I always redden when I think of sex (about you, about study, about cleaning of the apartment etc.) .
- I always redden when I communicate with idiots.
- Sorry, I incidentally read your thoughts. Because also reddened.
Options it can be infinite much. Everything depends on your imagination. Be not afraid if the interlocutor tries to carp at your words or it will try to be protected from your verbal “ attacks “. And original he will tell nothing clever as he should act with an impromptu. You can in advance be prepared, try to count its reciprocal remarks and to besides think up the answers.
So as a result probably all will start talking about your wit soon. Be not upset if still some time at the same time about you is told “ that which reddens “. In - the first as it was already told, in a flush there is nothing bad, and in - the second, you will practically cease to redden soon.
Good luck to you and progress in development of art of possession of!