How to parents to overcome the conflict of generations?
If you suddenly, without the visible reasons received in the morning from the daughter or the son a good charge of negative energy, do not hurry to fall into despair. Actually before you the known psychological problem opened in all the beauty. It is the typical conflict of generations which is followed by aspiration of your offspring to receive independence. And it is necessary to start its decision right now.
The reason of the similar conflicts, I think, it is clear. Your lovely dithat grew to such age when it needs to come off the roots, i.e. you. Be not frightened: just the same situations quite naturally arise not only at the person, but also at his immediate family - the highest primacies.
Young individuals, having reached a certain age, begin to behave so provocatively that they are hastily exposed out of limits of monkey herd where they some time also stay all alone, indulging in thoughts about the vital mission and the place taken in the world. It seems that the personal period of spiritual searches and creative shocking came to an end. A little later matured and along with it the had done with the youthful follies animals are accepted back in monkey “ community “. So we reproduce a phenomenon of the conflict of generations on public zoological models, and we are not lonely in the trouble.
How to arrive in this difficult situation? First of all, try to convince yourself that your child matured. I think, it is one of the important key points fraught for parents with psychological shocks and hypertensive crises (really life came to an end and ahead only loneliness?!) . But it is separate conversation. And now you should resolve the important point of order which is reduced to adoption of the agreement by both parties namely - not to shout at each other. After that in some families the unusual silence sets in. But especially be not under a delusion: recurrence happens pretty often.
Then you can start the solution of very difficult problem - to an otregulirovaniye of financial relationship. You remember: so-called “ target financing “ - your only real lever allowing to influence somehow on behavior of the opposite side. And here nothing can prevent you to be objective. At the same time do not forget: whatever defiant was the behavior of your child speaking a bass, you cannot deprive of it good nutrition, clothes and footwear, payment (within possible) the expenses connected with education.
Possible claims on a covering of excess expenses are not bad corrected by the offer to earn independently necessary (or not really?) additional resources. Usually the first experience independent financially - economic activity (as a rule, unsuccessful) makes sober your grown up “ fan “ beautiful life, and at the same time forms at it the realistic relation to money.
And this step can become a starting point for further “ optimization “ relationship with the raged opponents. Further you are faced by a difficult task to motivate unfledged “ separatists “ to rational actions. It is thought that here such council is quite applicable - before the interlocutor the purpose in which achievement he is interested is set (all want to be socially successful!) . Then the desirable (for you) behavior of the teenager is interpreted in the context of possible bright future. Details of the joint grandiose plan and steps on its execution need the specifying discussion. The main condition - any edification!
Practice shows: following to the principles described in article allows to reach understanding with your son or the daughter in large part of cases. In conclusion I want to wish to readers of success in such difficult business. Be patient, and then your efforts will be crowned with success!