What can force to change itself?
Every time when you want to change something in the life, at not the most not right moment you speak, do not even do, and just speak, and idiotic expression, the phrase, bring all the work to naught. To the empty, banal circle meaning that everything should be begun anew, from scratch.
But the nastiest that at the same time you will wound the most expensive, the close and loved to you little man.
Why so??? You do not know!
A can you did not look so deeply?!
You often follow the tastes foreign judgments, opinion. And when you begin to defend the position, you are considered by the last rubbish. And from you he also waited for such answer.
You always considered that only your own beliefs are the right answer or the decision. That only your thoughts are the correct action, and someone else`s word you and it is close to itself did not admit. So why you changed
to yourself? Really so you were influenced by love?
the Feeling to one person covering in itself all scale of positive emotions and experiences. The word and opinion became for you dogma, some kind of vital rule, and care of the person, nearly sense of your life. And in replacements, you hoped, no, you wanted, to receive love, understanding and respect. Recently one more was added to your feelings as shortly you will decide to call it by name. FEAR. Yes, as it is not strange to recognize it, you began to be afraid. To be afraid that it, your darling can understand not correctly you and, having made conclusions, to wound, and to wound so strongly and deeply that your breath which got off from surprise and pain and the pulse which became frequent to mad speed, several hours cannot enter a normal operating mode.
You are afraid that it, can tell that you are not necessary to it any more that your love distracts, does not allow to concentrate. You wonder: And how feelings? Also you hear: You will give their another! you are afraid of
I again. You are afraid of the night dark which gloom will not break off phone call as rescue from oppressive silence. That its voice will not repeat those words expensive to heart any more that his lips not to touch your lips … From one thought, at you on skin runs a frost, leaving in soul, the same chilling fear.
How to tell it that you are afraid? How to describe the experiences? HOW? So that he understood
and apprehended it just as you understand.
I again your thoughts return you in today. And again the fear squeezes your heart. And again bitterness tears from misunderstanding you, dim your eyes. And again his face, THAT expression of bewilderment, a shock and derisive humiliation, having mixed up in cocktail, select your confidence, withdraw all words from your head, and you murmur some nonsense which is not connected among themselves.
What now to do to you? Where to go? To whom to appeal? Why it is so cruel
with you? All what you wanted, it is simple to make to execute his desire. To you not to understand tactics of his behavior. You know it, know to the most fine details, and at some moment you see before yourself the person absolutely unfamiliar to you. And only eyes, you learn his eyes. Only in them shine and sparkle, and such darlings you cheerful sparkles sometimes turn into an all-devouring flame, but generally. You are suppressed by
. You want to escape, hide as at danger the snail hides in the sink. But you did not get used to give up, you are not able to recede. You hide deeply in yourself the pain and offense, and adjust yourself on a meeting with it. You train yourself for its words, prickly, hurting in the heart. You are going to meet his faceless indifference. You prepare. Also you are afraid … The witness, but in a different way is afraid to be again not understood, more precisely, not as you think, you, not as want that you were understood. You train yourself that you will knock at tightly the closed doors behind which its feeling hid. Somewhere deeply in you grows warm a small sparkle which you so like to catch in his eyes, hope. Hope that you are still expensive and desired …
just needed to believe You in the forces, in itself, you what bad did not wish!
You want to be happy and favourite! You the main thing trust
and at you all it to turn out!!!