How to become the good interlocutor?
of People are not only an individual, it also part of society. Any homo sapiens cannot separately live from the relatives. Every day we contact to many people; mainly by means of communication. Each of us wants to be successful in communication with people, to derive benefit from conversation, to derive pleasure from conversations and, of course, to make good impression on the interlocutor.
It is possible to derive pleasure from conversation, certainly, only talking to that person with whom we want, on subjects which are mutually interesting to us. To us will pleasantly not carry on dialogue with the person who is constantly inserting the remarks without having allowed us to finish speaking; whose speech will begin to abound with garbage words and to contain numerous pauses from - for inabilities to beautifully construct the offer.
The competent speech - one of necessary conditions of the good interlocutor. Sometimes the person worries therefore he speaks quickly, periodically stammers - all this can be sustained if to understand that just the person is too excited, because and speaks not really well - it often happens to fans of the business if to touch upon their subject. And here if the interlocutor simply - naprosto is illiterate and is not able to communicate - it becomes clear at once and the desire to continue conversation comes to naught.
But it is more, than to listen, the person likes to speak! And sometimes we should listen to the person, it is as if boring for us it seemed. Especially it is necessary during the work with clients, at communication with the person with which you by all means should come into contact.
Once, walking, I got acquainted with very interesting guy. It was beautiful, brought up, but from first minute of a meeting he began to tell about himself, and the fact that the most part of his words was lie in which to believe very difficult did not raise doubts. However me why not to talk to the nice young man had all the same nothing to do? I is rare - to tell frankly: never - did not meet similar people therefore I listened to it attentively, asked questions, admired (falsely, of course, but rather plausibly) some elements of its biography. It became more garrulous. At parting he even left me the phone and asked to call it. I was not going to do it, but so it turned out that in several days I wanted to take a walk again as then, talking about anything, to some stranger to whom I am obliged by nothing and who knows nothing about me.
History repeated: he spoke, and I acted as the psychologist, confining to lapidary phrases from time to time. The final was interesting: this young man … fell in love with me! It was clear at once: instead of speaking about itself, he was interested in me, showed interest in me and my hobbies - the difference was enormous so well noticeable.
To what I all this? It is always more interesting to people to speak, than to listen to others. the Best praise for people is an attention to what they tell. If the listener is attentive to the interlocutor, asks the specifying questions, conversation, it the most flatter compliments is interesting to him to paying.
The most ardent rowdy is often softened in the presence of the patient and condoling listener who will be silent until the angered personality exhausts. By the way, many boors and rude fellows are rude only because want to realize self-respect. For this reason most the weapon against them is better - not to pay attention to them, and encouragement is better than them for shouts - to assimilate to them and to begin to shout in reply.
Happens, from the boor it is just impossible will turn away: for example, if you are a seller, and he is a buyer. In that case you should listen, agree and show sympathy patiently: “ Yes, of course, I understand you, any on your place would grow furious. We are very grateful to you that you reported about inadequate quality of goods … “ - your words will depend on a situation. It is not a position weak, and the position clever - the client will calm down, and your nerves will not be disturbed.
You want that people turned away from you, said to you scurrilous things and despised? If yes, continuously you tell that about yourself, interrupt others. People are sillier than you, so why to listen to the fact that to you it is uninteresting? Interfere and interrupt speaking on the middle of the phrase. The people reveling only in themselves - the uncivilized people drugged by false consciousness of own importance.
Even if you are not able to speak beautifully, it is not a hindrance for establishing contacts with people around at all. Learn to listen to and you will pass for good the interlocutor !