How to help the child to be afraid less?
Fear are the reaction inherent in each healthy person. Fear - the everyday, normal occurrence. It is necessary for the person for self-preservation, are not afraid only mentally and intellectually sick people, and also those who stay in captivity of drug or alcoholic intoxication. Not without reason speak: “ This is Dutch courage! “
And if the child is afraid of something - it is normal, it is even good. For example, if he is afraid to be run over by a car, then will cross more carefully the road if he is frightened darkness, big dogs, he will try to avoid “ dangerous places “ though it is not always possible.
Absolutely other business if the child fears too much and if the fear prevents it to live: to sleep peacefully, come for walks, to communicate, be trained, etc.
C multiple and too strong fears it is just necessary to fight. What advice the parents, grandmothers who faced a problem of children`s fears can give?
1. It is not necessary to call the child the coward (even the little coward) because he will feel weak, coward, it is worse to consider himself peers.
2. It is necessary to get to the bottom of the reason of fears. Any fear does not arise without the reason. To us, adults, such reasons can seem just ridiculous and silly. For example, mummy often speaks to the child: “ Ah you my sweet, tasty and I will eat you! “ Then it turns out that her child most of all is afraid to be eaten, cannibals.
3. It is not necessary to underestimate fear of the child, without attaching it significance. For example, the kid asks: “ Mother, do not turn off the light for the night, I am afraid that from a case the black hand will spread and will strangle me! “ And mother answers: “ Come on, sonny, you that as small! Glance in a case, there is nobody there and will be enough to be capricious! “
4. It is necessary to tell much with the child about his fears. If he still absolutely small (3, 4 years), let draws what he is afraid of, and then will tear the drawings. Such method is suitable also for kids of six, seven years.
5. It is necessary to try to find words, explanations which will help to reduce concrete fear of the child. That is it is necessary to explain to the child why you should not be afraid of something strongly. For example, the five-year-old kid very much is afraid to die, every day asks about death. Similar questions frighten and disturb careful parents; they console the child: “ Yes you that! You will not die, will long - live long, we will not allow you to die! “ These are illusions, and you should not develop them. It is possible to tell, for example so: “ Yes, you will once die too, but if you accurately cross the road, will not leave with strangers, will wash hands before food, then will live long - long! “
6. If the child is afraid of something subject, what can be seen, touched, it is possible to try or play with him the toys symbolizing object of fear or to create a situation in which the object of fear will be not so terrible. For example, the child is afraid of big cats. Play with it with toy cats, look how it will react to a plush big cat, then let it will approach a little real kitten. If is not afraid to play with a kitten, give an opportunity to take on hands of more and more adult (big) cats.
7. For some fears to relieve the child is not necessary. They or will pass over time, or will become less sharp. Let`s say the child is afraid of water, depths. You reduce it to the superficial pool, but surely be near. Gradually you depart slightly further, but in the first days it is better to hold the child by hands while he legs bultykhat on water. This child can not like to swim in the big river, in the sea, and it is not necessary to do a problem from this.
8. An axiom - if houses everything is quiet, then and the child will not be afraid almost of anything. In a family there has to be an atmosphere of tranquility, friendliness, true benevolence, sincerity of feelings then dityo will feel confidence, care and comfort.
9. Do not allow the child to be dipped with the head into the fear, do not give it on it strength and time. If day was sated with interesting, bright impressions, useful affairs and game, at night the child most likely will fall asleep instantly. But it is not necessary to overload, tire the child, otherwise he will be able to fall asleep and fears will return. If the child is afraid of the dark, before going to bed it is necessary to tell: “ Look, we always nearby if it becomes terrible, call, we will come, we will stroke, we will caress! “ In case of fear of darkness, it is not necessary to close a door to the room where the child sleeps. It is very good to replace light with a sound. That is, turning off the light, to turn on radio, the tape recorder, the TV that sounds were not loud: quiet music, monotonous voice of the announcer).
10. Well fairy tales and verses about object of fear help. Well it already the imagination it is necessary to show also creativity. I cannot even give an example.
11. Certainly, it is not necessary to deride fear of the child, to abuse, reproach the kid for cowardice, to tease, play a trick and point to fear at strangers. It is especially dangerous to compare the child to other children. “ Vanya, look, Olya here swims, is not afraid, and you …! “
Intuition, knowledge of children`s psychology, a knowledge of life - all this is reliable help for you in the help to beloved children will get rid of strong fears.