The recipe of family happiness or whether there Has to be a woman clever?
“ Women are a charm what foolish and horror what silly women “ - Zhvanetsky told. Only two options. The third is not given. The clever woman in consideration is not accepted. It does not exist. As look, as class, as persons.
Yes, joke. But - the fairy tale lie and in it a hint …
As often should be heard: “ Well silly woman, absolute silly woman! And as well settled … And the husband at it - pure gold. At others - continuous punishment, life wrong way. And this … “ - and envy exudes from these words. The envy justified, by the way.
But small nuance: whether and such silly woman? Perhaps, it is not congenital nonsense, but worldly wisdom which dictates to the woman: you should not be cleverer than the elect. It is not necessary to be stronger, than it.
The man seeks to be strong. It is put in it since caves and petroglyphic graphics. The man - the getter. The one who could drag a skin of a saber-toothed tiger to a fire brought a piece of a mammoth for roast - is popular. The one who brought only a pathetic mouse caught only because she broke a pad is not necessary to anybody. He is not able to provide a family. Its sort will die out.
And how the man who a dovolok to an entrance to a cave mamontovy hulk and suddenly found out that his darling already delivered to the family center ten mammoths, a couple of cave bears and one tiger - for a polovichka at a bed feels? No matter he feels, it is necessary to recognize. The first thought which creeps in in his head: “ And why, as a matter of fact, I am necessary to it? “.
Here it, critical moment of marriage. The man felt unnecessary. From this second he considers the girlfriend of life with suspicion. It too is independent . It too is independent . Moreover, she dares to criticize its hunting trophies. Speaks with neglect of its methods of hunting. She says that it is too silly and weak to provide it comfortable life. And even if does not speak, then shows it all the behavior. She dared to throw out the mamontyatina got by it, having motivated it with the fact that meat already became rotten. “ You, of course, forgive me to Darling, but so far you trudged three days with this fillet cutting, it poobtrepatsya. Look, here you were hooked for a bough, and in meat bark pieces got stuck. And here traces of the fact that you dragged meat on the ground … It is too much microbes. Sorry, but it is necessary to throw out. As a last resort, I will give to a dog. Perhaps, she will eat it … “.
And meanwhile to a table meat is served. Three times a day. Artly baked in banana leaves. Meat,
A got not by it … meanwhile around spin lonely women who with delight glance at the notorious cutting thrown to dogs. Women who are not able to get meat .
You remember the movie “ Moscow does not trust tears “? The initial case - the man leaves the woman because she earns more, than it. And it has such principle: the man has to be a getter for a family. To it the wife is a chief (and in this case - the plant manager) to anything.
So? Women have to leave even dreams of career? They cannot even think of earning something bigger, than earnings of the secretary in the Village Council?
Yes by no means! Everything can be - both career, and a salary, anything. Even in this most cine example the man eventually comes back. But here - that and a secret - why it returned. Its principles did not change. But … he understood that the head of the family is at all not the one who brings more money, big carcass of a mammoth, more fluffy skin of a tiger. He understood the main thing: it - is necessary . Let his darling - the plant manager, let at her is such salary of which he did not even dream. Let. But there is what only he can make. It is not simply necessary to it, it - is necessary .
You did not pay attention to the curious fact: “ silly women “ much less often husbands throw. The motivation is simple: “ What it without me will do? She is a silly woman. She cannot take care of herself “. To throw the silly woman - it is like to throw out a blind kitten. Not at everyone the hand will be raised.
The further the emancipation sets, the female complaints to men are heard more. Classical complaint: all house on me! I earn, I obstiryvat, I prepare, I raise children. And it - as the child who needs to be nursed. Does not work, lies for days on end on a sofa. Parasite!
Yes, parasite. Therefore also the parasite that he at once, from the first day of marriage was put in such conditions that he did not feel necessary. Did not see where can apply the forces and energy. As a result these forces are applied very peculiar. The woman needs the child whom she could nurse? Please! Here at it “ child “.
Of course, happens that it is just the gigolo. But generally such “ children “ there are men quite normal initially. They are just done such. From the best motives. And then, certainly, sobbings of the Cinderella are heard.
You think that the woman who promoted, raised children, supported the idler - the husband - and all independently! - clear head? Anything similar. Using Zhvanetsky`s classification, it - “ horror what silly woman “.
The clever woman finds an opportunity to be in the opinion of the husband “ what charm foolish “ to be “ silly woman “ in the best sense of this word. That silly woman for whom it is necessary to care which it is impossible to leave - she needs support and a support. Near such “ silly woman “ the man feels like Heracles who is breaking off a mouth of a nemeysky lion, the epic hero winning enemies, the cave person who drags the darling svezhezadavlenny (barehanded!) tiger for a graceful loincloth … He feels necessary .
And in order that the man felt necessary that he was convinced of this need, it is not required to give up perspective work at all or to represent from itself the clinical idiot. Will enough not step on favourite man`s callosities. It is enough to give way to the man of the head of the family. Let the female voice will be only consultative, but not decisive. Believe, the man who feels the need rasshibtsya in flat cake to make everything that she wants for the woman. And actually decisive will be advisory vote. Quiet and peaceful. Tender and gentle. But not command (“ You will do as I want! “) .
We at last learned to treat chiefs. On this subject the set of various grants is written. Including women. And everywhere it is told: the chief cannot contradict. More precisely, it is possible, but … definitely. It is not recommended to speak to the chief: “ You are not right! “. It is a right way to dismissal. The same meaning can be conveyed differently: “ Your idea is simply magnificent! I only want to bring some specifications … “. If the chief is clever, then he, of course, will understand that these specifications completely substitute his idea for another. But besides, if he is clever, then he will see what of ideas is better. Such formulation of the offer will allow also the chief to save face, and to the employee to achieve the desirable.
All of us know it. In the annex to work and career. But why not to put similar art of the handling of the administration in own family? If to tell the husband: “ Darling, your idea is magnificent! “ - it will just blossom as a fern on Ivan Kupala. And the idea can and be specified … to full unrecognizability. The main thing - to keep “ authorship “ to present it so that the man was sure - it is his own idea.
Also it is not necessary to rest: “ Let accepts me such what I am! “. It is not necessary to speak: “ Do not talk nonsense! “. It is not necessary to be too clever or “ what horror silly woman “ - this same. It is better to be “ what charm foolish “ - it is wisdom of the woman. The clever woman in family life - always “ charm what foolish “.