How to learn not to depend on opinion of people around?
What people think of us? The opinion of parents, fellow workers, neighbors, friends and girlfriends and just - all - as is a lot of passersby around those at whom we look back every day, being afraid: “ And what they will think? “ …
Of course, not all are dependent on foreign opinion, but many of us got used to verify all the acts and actions with words and estimates of other people. And, not very well, they correspond to our vital installations or not.
The modesty, of course, was never considered as defect, but here, perhaps, put even not in it. Some people do not resist when on them literally “ are trampled down “ others the incontestable opinions, agree with what they do not agree with if only not to be condemned and stipulated in eyes or “ for eyes “.
By the way, about it “ for eyes “ … For some reason often, hearing some talk behind the back or the faceless condemnations told in the course of communication, we accept them to the address. And what for? And whether surely it so? As someone from known told: “ We would not reflect that other people if they knew how a little they think of us " think of us;.
But how to force itself not to listen to half-whispers behind the back and not to depend on opinion of people around? It is just necessary to remember once and for all: all of us are different. And preferences at us different, both tastes, and the relation to these or those events. Therefore - to please with to all it is simply unreal ! And to be exempted from this aspiration to be pleasing all.
There is even quite famous east parable how there were on the city a father with the son. The son went on a donkey, and the father went nearby, conducting a donkey. The people meeting them on the way expressed the opinion of the way of movement which is rather chosen by them. The first was indignant with the fact that he younger sits while the poor old father is forced to walk. Travelers had to trade places: now the father went, and the son went nearby. But the following passer loudly began to feel sorry for the boy and to reproach the father with lack of pity to the child. The father very much was confused from such words and put the son near himself. Then the third passer began to be indignant with the fact that these people do not feel sorry for a poor animal at all, using him is merciless! The father and the son got down from a donkey together and went on foot. Certainly, the person who met him now found too what to tell: he began to sneer at owners of a donkey who does not bring them any benefit … The father and the son came to a conclusion that it is necessary to define for itself a way to travel.
Very wise parable. But whether so happens to many of us who seek not to be ridiculous in the opinion of people around? Of course, you should not be absolutely indifferent to the fact that cause our acts and actions in life of other people. But the question is in about what people there is a speech and about what situation. For example, it is always necessary to think of how your next serious decision will be reflected in members of your family, but whether it is worth going in cycles that the colleague from the next department will call your new coat old-fashioned.
Actually the circle of people whose opinion in this or that situation needs to be considered surely is not so wide. These are first of all those people whom the decision made by you will directly affect, and also people who are competent of that question which you try to solve (we will tell, at the choice of the car it is always worth consulting to the expert, but it is not obligatory to ask opinion of the girlfriend at all - housewives).
Besides, it is necessary to build the system of values and to allocate in it those “ sites “ which you are ready to correct by means of other people and who remain invariable.
And still. It is necessary to make bold to be responsible for the made decisions independently . Because such people are respected and such people never fall into dependence on opinion of people around.