As the child without father grows and how to bring up him in this case?
the Destiny of single mother was always hard. And now lonely women with children - quite everyday occurrence of modern society. And though under the law mother of the child having or having the official father is not lonely, often occurs so that the most part of life it should bring up the son or the daughter one.
At the same time it loses those few privileges and grants which could facilitate it education of the child. But not only mother has some difficulties - future boy or the girl most of all suffers. He or she should test bitterness of melancholy and loneliness in a childhood, to understand that mother and the father cannot be together, hardly improve the relations with peers who can consider you “ not it as all “. It will be even more difficult for the child if he has no brother or the sister with whom he could share the experiences.
Of course, and in a full family there are disorders, and not all such families happen happy. Not always people get on among themselves. But, nevertheless, these problems are, there are emotions and experiences. And the person who did not endure similar feelings adapts to collective more difficultly, can grow up closed and unfriendly. Besides, further it can have difficulties with creation of own family. I hope, this article will help lonely mothers to avoid many mistakes and to bring up the real, strong in spirit men and beautiful women from the little children!
If the boy grows. Most important to understand
that with withdrawal of the father from a family the choice of an ideal will be very important for the boy, that to whom he would like to be similar in the future. Your child in the absence of the father will surely look for an example for imitation in other men. Therefore it is necessary to select correctly and circumspectly movies for viewing, books with participation of courageous and strong in spirit heroes, " in time; to palm off “ moral and ethical literature.
It is impossible to indulge the kid at all. Since the earliest childhood the boy has to study independence. What sense in the house from the man if he is not able even to hammer a nail into a wall? It is clear, that for the woman it is simpler to teach the child purely “ to a women stuff “: to washing, cleaning on the house, washing of ware, cooking. And it is necessary to accustom to it, but, nevertheless, it is necessary to pay attention first of all to other things which are more powerful part of character of the modern man.
Why, for example, to it not to go shopping every day? He can iron trousers, a tie, shirt too. The real man has to have interest in equipment and sport. If you cannot teach something him, then you should not do it - it will be better to leave rigidly and strictly the kid with the task set to it alone. Believe, it is better, than to try to help. In case to run behind it on heels, responding to everyone “ I cannot “ or “ it is impossible to me “ and to give help, your son can and remain for the rest of life mother`s darling and not capable of anything.
And instead of the help it is better to leave the place for compliments and a praise. Infinitely repeat to it: “ At you surely everything will turn out! “ “ You everything can do, you at me the best! “ etc. Quite so it is necessary to love the child who was left without father. For it the woman in the person of mother acts as that person for the sake of which in certain cases he sees sense of the life. With loss of the father he becomes your first defender and a support. Therefore it is important for it that all it “ feats “ received a positive assessment and at the same time he only achieved the objects set for it and the tasks.
Further it will favorably affect its attitude towards future wife, the girlfriend, other female persons therefore it is worth having patience. The child who was left without father as nobody else needs maternal love he is still absolutely weak and except mother at him remained nobody. Therefore if it was born as a result of communication with the person whom you do not want to remember, and to you it is not necessary to do it. Now you have other favourite being for the sake of whom really it is worth living!
If the girl grows.
Of course, for lonely mother it is simpler to bring up the daughter, than the son. In this case the child is more clear and closer to it on spirit. But also there are certain problems. For the girl in a family the father carries out a role of the mentor, person on whom it is always possible to rely. To ask for suggestions, the help. Usually this person costs in the head of the family, makes the main decisions and provides her financially.
And it means that the girl also very much needs the father. Besides, it is very important not to cultivate in her soul hostility to a male which can discharge it further of men, make cold and clamped. Therefore it is worth trying avoiding at least at it bad mentions of it, to allow to spend enough time with it if it still exists. Despite your personal opinion on it.
The destiny of lonely mother can repeat. The woman lives belief - faith in the first person of the country, faith in the father, faith in heroes of novels and books … For it acts not always come to the forefront. Therefore it is also important to pay attention to selection of moral literature for the daughter, kind movies and transfers. Subsequently it will promote a right choice of future elect.
And in conclusion I will tell that the most important for lonely mothers - to try to love very much the children. It is necessary to leave the past behind the back, now you already have a family which should pay the main attention in the life. This attention in the future will pay off with interest, and your child can grow up much better, more kindly, more cleverly and stronger than other children who were born in full families.
If you do not give so love necessary to it - three options are possible. The first - such person will be in the future in a constant depression, in view of continuous conditions of melancholy and loneliness. At the second - even more the worst - he will grow in hatred to itself(himself) and to people around, will begin to hate everything, including you and all other relatives. And the third - all the remained life he will look for the person who could fall in love with it as strongly as he can love mother.
In the latter case the person can grow up very honest, sincere and moral, but at the same time is perfect avoid casual meetings and acquaintances and practically not to have friends. For this reason for lonely mother it is very important to create the favorable emotional atmosphere for the child further to avoid these troubles.