Whether it is possible to prevent a suicide?
you Remember the motto of Stalin times “ There is no person - there is no problem “? Alas, this way of the solution of difficult life situations is much more senior than that terrible period. Throughout centuries of people, without having found a way out of the vital deadlock, reflected how to avoid both mental anguish, and the situation, and its potential repetition.
However an environment - that is, we - are often blind and deaf to problems of our neighbors. Moreover, even when outright report to us about danger of a situation, we prefer to ignore signals: it is so difficult and terrible to take the responsibility for others life …
I, nevertheless, there are situations when not to evade responsibility in any way - in case our relatives are endangered. How to reveal disturbing signs and how to help the person who appeared (in his opinion) at the deadlock?
In - the first , we will pay attention to risk factors . It is possible to carry to them:
- the serious illness which is especially followed or threatening in the long term with heavy physical sufferings;
- real or imaginary personally significant failure;
- mental disorders of the person;
- the suicide attempts taking place in the past;
- extreme, especially marginal, living conditions (imprisonment, loneliness, loss of marital and social standing);
- the critical injuring situations (sudden loss of the family), and also drug addiction and alcoholism.
Such factors as the reduced resistance to emotional loadings, absence of true friends and the full-fledged family relations, inadequacy of a self-assessment (and both extremes the self-assessment which - both is excessively overestimated, and unfairly underestimated are dangerous), loss of value of life are also important.
In - the second , reliable signs the preparing suicide exist and if you notice anxious moments in behavior of the loved one - be ready to come to the rescue. Treat such signs:
- reduction of the affairs in an order (especially if usually it was not peculiar to the person);
- farewell which is expressed that the person thanks various people who gave him help at different stages of life (besides - especially this sign is important if earlier it was not peculiar to the person);
- the unexpected pacification, a condition of satisfaction contrasting with the previous depression. It is connected with relief from adoption (at last) of the decision;
- sleeplessness after approach of a pacification - on the eve of the preparing event;
- written or verbal instructions - hints, talk “ about one acquaintance “ etc., especially it is characteristic of teenagers.
In society it is distributed many myths about suicide having with reality and dangerous nothing in common the fact that they significantly complicate an adequate assessment of complexity of a situation and weight of the processes happening in mentality of the person.
So, the myth that the person speaking aloud about suicide will never make it is distributed in society. Actually scientific it was proved that such representation is dangerous: many people trying to commit suicide, on the contrary, tried to open the intentions, spoke about suicide as about a common problem in the beginning, then - projected a situation on themselves (“ here if I died “) also did it in obvious (in conversation with relatives) or an indirect form (in the form of diary entries, cuttings of the corresponding materials from newspapers and magazines, “ unexpectedly “ coming across to their family shortly before suicide attempt, or even “ simply “ addresses to the doctor with complaints to apathy, a depression and lack of forces and desire to live).
Statistically, over 80% of the people making a suicide let know previously about the intention to other people anyway. There is it because suicide, with rare exception, is not made spontaneously (though as a result of sudden emergence of the intolerable psychoinjuring situation it is possible). It “ ripens “ during the certain period, passing consistently stages from plans to intentions and only then - to their realization.
The true reason of suicides - not desire of the termination of the life, but desire of the termination of the pain which arose in this life, desire of the termination of an intolerable situation which way seems only in the termination of the existence. It follows from this that true motive of any suicide is the call for help. Message “ Pay, at last, attention, to how to me it is bad, help me! “ is the cornerstone of a suicide.
Another thing is that not all suicides are true. Often, especially at early age, attempt to lose life is demonstrative, however even the most frivolous statement of the teenager on this subject deserves the closest attention. As the thought which once lodged in consciousness can develop before intention and its implementation, and an act, even the most demonstrative and through false, can unexpectedly for all, including the suicide, come to the end if it is so possible to be expressed, “ good luck “ - when everything is valid “ it will turn out “ and demonstrative hang in a loop in the face of “ angry “ parents or the bitch - wives will end with the real death in case those to whom the performance is addressed are late for several minutes: whether will get stuck in a stopper whether will stop to have a talk with neighbors in an entrance...
Besides, often repeated trick with suicide threat - the ends does at the end the person by the hostage of the threats. Sooner or later he will receive in reply or full imperception seriously of his words, or even instigation to real action: the pier, so many time spoke - and actually lied? Poorly? In the teenage world of such eggings on it appears enough for a fatal step.
There is one more delusion concerning the personality decided to commit suicide: that it is weak, and even sincerely sick people. In reality it not so: sincerely sick among suitsident - no more than 40 - 50%, the others - mentally healthy, but got into a difficult situation and not found a way out of it owing to the personal features people. Suicides - persons strong, capable of the decision, even such terrible. For this reason in due time given help and support can be the saving bridge from the world of death to the world of life which the person who got into a difficult situation will manage to use: just without assistance he can not see other opportunities of an exit and the decision, except leaving.
What it is possible to oppose to suicide moods? On what strings of soul can be played to what it is possible to appeal to pull out the person from the abyss of despair? As a rule, it is resources of the personality. To use in quality “ allies “ in fight against thirst for self-damage everything that is significant and essential to the person is possible:
- deep emotional affection for the family;
- the expressed call of duty;
- a self-preservation instinct - fear of causing to physical harm, pain;
- the importance of public opinion and avoiding of condemnation from people around;
- belief in a neispolzovannost of all vital opportunities;
- search of situations and people in whom and for which this person is really necessary and we love,
- existence of unrealized still creative, family, professional plans and plans, presence of the significant and not achieved yet vital values and the objectives;
- presence of the cultural, moral and religious wealth able to act in this situation in a role “ brakes “;
- and even appearance depiction after suicide. All this
can act as limiting factors and even to become “ return points “.
Of course, to the person who endured attempt of suicide and even being in power so far only of moods and plans, the professional help is necessary. But also daily participation of not indifferent and attentive people can render him invaluable service.