What cannot be spoken to the woman?
When there was my article “ What it is impossible to tell to the man? “ in one of comments such phrase flashed: “ To Men would not prevent to learn to keep the " mouth shut too;. And I completely agree with the commentator. Not only women have a speech power, men are able to speak too. Also Dear men tell …
, very much I ask not to take offense! Not to knock itself a heel on a breast, declaring: “ Yes I never … “ or “ Yes she is guilty … “ or “ And what to do if it and really here so … “. This article is written at all not with the purpose to show you what you are bad. Moreover, I am sure that you actually - very much and very good. But it is possible, this article will help you to understand women slightly better. And your life will become happier and harmonious.
So, of what does not need to speak to the woman …
“ My mother does better “ - mother fries cutlets better, at her better salad turns out, she irons better a shirt and when it irons trousers, shooters do not disperse for weeks … Cleaning of the apartment in mother`s execution is a song, and after its termination it is impossible to find a mote even in the most dark corner.
Instead of mother sometimes cite the sister, the acquaintance, the ex-wife as an example (the word of honor, it happens too!), first school love (“ she so remarkably sang, at me even the soul faded “) and so on. But everything is more often - better mother does. And “ my mother does better “ - one of the scariest phrases killing pleasure of family life .
It is an appeal to competition which cannot be won by definition. Children`s representations differ in noncriticality and are very strongly fixed in memory. The son can not remember that his mother was not able to pickle mushrooms, and here the wife - perfectly copes with this task. It can just reject the fact that mother worked as the secretary part-time, and the wife holds a senior position in the large company.
No, it is not an appeal to criticism of parents. No way! I willingly believe what mother really does better. Especially, if it is the husband`s mother. But constantly to report to the wife about what she always and everything does worse - not the best way to achieve happiness in family life. The wife exhausted with similar losing competition can declare in one not fine day to the beloved: “ Time your mother does everything better, go - you to her “.
And then, the wife has mother too. Also the armwrestling can begin: “ My mother never added garlic to forcemeat! “ - “ And my mother said that garlic is useful to health therefore it needs to be added to all dishes! “ Impasse. And if first “ pulling of a rope “ causes laughter, eventually it can lead to very serious problems of the intra family relations.
“ At last you put on in something decent! “ - similar phrases are not a rarity at all. I know the man who constantly said to the wife that she is not able to put on at all. He told all the acquaintances that his wife buys cheap rags in which the milkmaid from deaf, poor collective farm would be ashamed to seem on people. “ If I did not buy by it clothes, with it it would be impossible to pass nearby down the street “ - he said. Business ended with divorce.
If you, saying the similar phrase, want to pay the woman a compliment, then consider - it is not a praise. It means that earlier she put on disgustingly, and suddenly, by some accident, it at last managed to find more or less decent clothes.
“ When I looked after you, you were such beauty! “ - such phrase clearly indicates that former beauty left long ago. And what would come in exchange … eyes did not watch. It is a regret about the past and mourning of the future. And the old joke is remembered: the woman of years 45 considers the person in a mirror early in the morning. Having seen wrinkles, bags under eyes, looks back at the sleeping husband and spitefully speaks: “ So to you, the fool, it is also necessary! “.
There will be those who will try to explain that he yes, told something similar, but only wishing to tell the wife something pleasant. Here it is not necessary “ pleasant “! Why not to tell: “ I Look at you and I admire: to you still 20! “. Or: “ When I looked after you, you were such beauty, and did not change at all! “. Agree, quite another matter.
“ Where dinner? “ - as option: “ Why the clothes are still not washed? “ “ How many I will wait for the ironed shirt? “. Similar phrases are the annoying sound when the woman on hands has children, her own work, and she still masters the house, that is, on it both washing, and cooking, and cleaning. The man is busy with exclusively own work.
Instead of making a claim, it is possible just to understand - why the wife did not manage to make something. If the matter is that she badly is able to do it (and similar happens too, especially in young families), then it is worth sending it to courses, at least to mother. The issue is not resolved by shout and requirements. If the problem that it is simply loaded excessively, then it is worth helping it but not to declare: “ All for some reason are in time, one you can never make anything " in time; .
“ Where you put my tie? “ - as option: pack of cigarettes, handle, hammer, points, favourite shirt … Such question shows at once that the man of the house practically does nothing, time does not know where and what lies. He only demands that looked after him. In the house it - as in hotel where there is a maid, the waiter bringing the ordered breakfast (room - service), is available a laundry where the clothes are sent to the laundry … However, all service personnel in one person, but it is even convenient - it is not necessary to go far to make a complaint. It is a little more, and he will begin to give a tip to the wife.
Dear men, before angrily to be interested at the wife where it thrust the hammer, think - and why she in general touched this hammer? Hammer, in principle, man`s business. Whether not your fault is that not to find the hammer?
“ You that, silly woman? “ - instead of the answer to any question. As version: “ What you in it understand “ “ Not your mind business “ “ Keep silent when do not ask “ “ Do not dishonor me before people “.
Generally, nobody is obliged to know everything. And even if the question, the answer to which seems obvious to you, not the fact that it is so obvious to others, is asked. Therefore the similar statement is “ rudeness vulgaris “ that is, rudeness ordinary, not turbid and - that the most important - unjustified.
One more option is possible. It - really the silly woman. Happens. But what from this? Means, it has other advantages, except intelligence. The man was guided by something, making to it a proposal of marriage. And, accusing her of nonsense, he first of all accuses himself. If she is a silly woman, then who then it?
“ You are able to do nothing! “ - as option: “ You badly prepare “ “ You are not able to sew “ “ You are not able to raise children “ … and so on. Usually similar is said with the accusing anguish. But, dear men if the woman does not know how to cook - and it happens too - whether that is simpler to buy her the cookbook? The word of honor, it is much cheaper, than to spend forces, nerves for scandal and to actually destroy a family.
“ Your son - the poor student! “ - as though it is only her son, and he has no relation to him. It is asked - and why it did not bring up own child, was not engaged with it? It is easy to accuse the wife. But in this case it is necessary to blame only himself - for an inattention to own child.
It is possible to continue indefinitely transfer of the unsuccessful statements destroying happiness, breaking families. But the most important that needs to be remembered - scandals and insults solve nothing. Force - a last refuge weak. Only quiet discussion can solve a problem. And - the basic! - acceptance of the partner equal to.
Dear men, you remember: the woman - too the person!