Whether it is worth living with the wife - the alcoholic? Business of conscience of everyone!
But all this people, as a rule, low-competent of a question which views are fed with myths and legends, widespread in society. However and with professionals everything was not so simple. My companion told me that he communicated concerning the wife with the real medical stars which deal with this issue quite professionally. Those only made a helpless gesture: “ As a rule, this disease forever even if the alcoholic consciously refuses his use. He refuses only when at it “ something falls off or ceases to work “. Fear the most virgin weapon. And that not solving a problem cardinally. There is always a wish to drink and stops only understanding that the former hobby bears terrible troubles, pains and even death “.
My companion also addressed psychotherapists. Those were engaged with the wife in weeks and even months, and desirable progress in affairs did not come. At what, the matter of talk of psychotherapists which to it was retold by the wife nonplused him. They advised it to continue to drink, and as any “ uvertochek “ ordered or clarification of different organism diets, drugs, and also contracts with the husband:
- I do not drink week, and for it you do me, and still this.
But also it not strongly helped. The most interesting that all psychotherapists who were coming across on the road and recommended by solid people were former or even “ being in a system “ the alcoholics rendering, nevertheless, of service of this sort by that who wanted to get rid of alcoholism or to it it was pushed by relatives, tired of the drunkard`s tricks. Moreover, couple of psychotherapists whom my companion and his wife for few years of circulations " addressed; cast away " boots;. If to speak more softly, died. And alcohol played not the last role in these tragicomic death. On the other hand, what healthy person will be engaged in similar subject as not departed from “ put darling “ former alcoholic. Unless the burned and cynical businessman, to which all the same how to earn money. Came across to my companion and such which, minutes of revelation, showed on the svezhevystroyenny mansion and spoke:
is a house - a monument to the Russian alcoholism!
My companion in general despaired. The wife drank it as God give to each man: vanished for days, missed work (thanks the chief was understanding!) brought home “ green little men “ created “ warehouses - caches “ from alcoholic products, quite often arranged houses hand-to-hand single combats with bruises and scratches. You would seem and throw it nafig - why this shrew in a female appearance who is not understanding is necessary as torments the person. Let`s not speak about the reasons of his behavior, but he did not give up. Somewhere, maybe, love, somewhere - force a habit, somewhere own fears and uncertainty, somewhere - the vanity cut to the quick.
It is necessary to understand that history of all life of the wife of my companion including history of her family, gave the mass of information on the reasons of her trouble. The father its man, quite weak on character, itself was not the fool to drink though on streets did not lie and money in a family always brought. She got a habit to drink regularly in higher education institution. When we discussed this situation with my companion, I understood that her classmates and other children, by the way, quite decent, at first accustomed to drinking it then to incline to the sexual intercourse, and then it also looked for in the similar way self-affirmation and an arrangement of men. Pier: “ You Watch what I all the in a board “. All as in the known student`s joke: “ At the first year - to anybody, on the second - to it, on the third - to it and his friends, on the fourth - everything, everything, everything, on the fifth - to whom, to whom? “ On the fifth, by the way, to it and it happened. Having thought that they any about her smart body, little men disappeared one by one …. And then she married the convinced alcoholic and … the private psychotherapist relieving people of problems with alcohol. They drank houses, at work, at home, and again at work, in passing curing people of addiction to alcohol. In four years her husband at forty-year age died with the diagnosis - “ cirrhosis “ and it which did not reach also 25 years, remained one …
Of course, all this history opened to my companion not at once. But, however, the wife of it also did not hide. However, told all this in the sauce. Then my companion followed advice of psychologists - to unite all healthy forces of a family, environment and professionals against the grown hateful illness. It is necessary to tell, business went more productively. When she understood that about it “ lovely habits “ significant people in her life learned, she stopped drinking for two, three weeks, even voluntarily went to hospital with the diagnosis “ neurosis “. Nobody her personality from close people after learned about an illness, rejected. Moreover, even something tried to help: word, council, personal example. He actively tried to change its program, to inspire in it new sense that it is better to lead a healthy, sports life, than to remain one in an environment of bottles. And, something worked, and something is not present. In the general the person fought, and so far fights. With variable success and indispensable failures when few weeks everything goes well, and then it brings a bag of wine to the house and … hangs for several days.
What to tell still. At the moment all this history still proceeds and to say that it is successfully complete very much and very much early. But, as an example, healthy obstinacy, desire to find a way out when all, it seems, and “ against “ but there are also some “ for “ - inspires. The person puts only on himself and on the wife, and on the others hopes only as for a possible resource for which it is impossible to hope blindly, but it is necessary to attract. Necessarily you wish success to it (and it) in this fight and you wait for a miracle. And suddenly all these walking stereotypes actually - the poppycock if the person really solves a problem, but not actively represents presence at it of secret knowledge and professional activity.]