How to learn to speak “ is not present “?
At least once in life each of us came up against such situation when there was a wish to tell simple, but at the same time, it appears, quite difficult word “ is not present “. It would seem and that here it what difference between “ yes “ “ is not present “ or “ I do not know “? And in practice there is not everything so simply … It is much simpler to some people to say habitual “ yes “ even if it is followed by numerous cares, experiences and problems, than to refuse, having told “ is not present “.
To learn to tell the word “ is not present “ difficult, but it is possible. If you notice for yourself that you quite often cannot refuse (in the help, attention, etc.) to the colleague who aims to shift reports outstanding in time to your shoulders, the neigbour who likes to while away at you boring winter evenings in the evenings, the friend who in search of love of all the life is nearly an every week on the verge of a nervous breakdown etc., be ready to a hard work over themselves. Of course, you can help if you have a desire and an opportunity, but you are not obliged to do something for someone and for someone if at only one thought at you at heart cats are scraped.
Ask yourself a question, really I have more free time? Each person has the right to dispose of own time independently. If someone is not able to plan the affairs and therefore is always and everywhere not in time, then it is a big problem, but, thank God, not yours. Remember, desperate situations do not happen. If you do not help, then there will be another who will not be able to refuse, as a last resort, asking itself will find a way out. Just initially all trouble consists in what we often tell “ yes “ by inertia, we undertake some obligations unnecessary us, and then we suffer … The same who got used to live, using others non-failure operation, believe, do not feel any discomfort and tortures …
If, rendering someone kind service, you count on gratitude, then and here you are mistaken. Be not mistaken, to people on whom, as they say, it is convenient “ to go “ are seldom grateful, their responsiveness and the help are perceived as self-evident. Trouble-free it is not accepted to reckon with opinions and as it is possible to respect the person who has no own opinion … of
you are afraid that, having heard unexpected “ is not present “ on you can take offense or become angry? Well, there is also it. But answer honestly a question and whether you love yourself? If you love, then you learn to speak “ is not present “ despite fear! With what to begin? Let`s find out …
1. you Pronounce aloud several times the word “ is not present “ accurately, loudly and surely. Train until this difficult word does not become for you habitual.
2. you Watch voice. No uncertainty and a shiver should be heard. You speak quietly and firmly.
3. be not afraid of reaction of people around to your refusal.
4. do not try to justify. If you want, then can explain the reason. Otherwise - you have to nothing to nobody.
5. Having learned to refuse trifles, you will be able to make the decision, right for yourself in more serious questions. Now, when you are able to speak “ is not present “ you nobody will force to do what for you was earlier invariant.
If you love yourself, then you appreciate personal and others` time, enjoy life!]