Who such “ artificial father “? Part 2
we Will continue our conversation how to the nonnative father easier and quicker to find the road to children`s hearts. Last time we said how to become it necessary and favourite. Now we will be transferred to other side of the ocean of relationship and we will estimate the new father from the child`s position.
It can have following questions:
1. “ And actually, who it to us came? “
2. “ What it is necessary to it here? “
3. “ What right he has to manage here? “
4. “ How many it will proceed still? “
5. “ How quickly to get rid of it? “
The new father has to try quickly and well give answers to the child on these questions. The main thing governed: it is necessary to answer with actions. Show the hardness of own position by means of the acts. The general contents of answers to raised can look higher the child`s questions approximately so:
1. Let the child learns about in what you are engaged. It is possible that your work will seem to it fascinating. In this case safely begin to unwind a ball of his mistrust to you from this thread. Conduct it to yourself for work if are precisely sure that he wishes it. There the child can get acquainted with people who appreciate you your talents and talents. Unostentatiously show it what at you turns out most successfully. At the same time let the child know: at desire it when grows also, will be able to do everything even better.
2. It is important that the child had no doubts in authenticity and gravity of your feelings and intentions in relation to his mother. Show that with your arrival the importance of the child will not change. Just before it only mother, the grandmother, the grandfather, and now here loved also you will be to it, at least, a beautiful friend.
3. Let the child know that his mother made a choice. Its decision should be respected. Mother presented life, and all these years she alone coped with difficulties. Let the child will have a motivation moving to you towards. For this purpose you have to appreciate each its step to building relations especially and to do not stand still.
4. Emphasize that intend to participate in the child`s life exactly in that degree in which he will want it. Ask it about plans for the future, about desires, about with what it is dissatisfied. Try to speak with it frankly. Discuss the subjects interesting to it. Tell about of what you are fond. Designate to it own desire to remain in a new family forever.
5. To get rid of you quickly and it is easily possible very simply: if he respects own mother, you, to study well, will be exempted from addictions … that you to it will not prevent to live in any way as at such behavior at it wings will grow soon and it will depart there where no stepfathers disturb. So far he is the most ordinary child and the best that you can offer it - genuine care, or perhaps even love.
The stepfather will be well accepted rather by the child if he:
1. Does not contradict itself and does what promised.
2. It is constantly open towards to the child.
3. Does not try to emphasize that it in something is better than the child.
4. Sincerely is interested in his life and problems.
5. Respects the child and understands him.
At last, five rules for the child that was to him with the stepfather easier:
1. Recognize him closer.
2. Speak with it.
3. Understand it.
4. Respect him.
5. Appreciate it.