Who such “ artificial father “? Part 1
- Whom works your father? From conversation with the child.
- It is the director, only artificial.
- the Artificial director? there is no
- the artificial father.
- … Nonnative it to me.
without father. The situation is not harmless. Mother who decides to raise one the child is worthy respect, but, unfortunately, children from incomplete families are deprived of many delights of the childhood. First of all, at them is not present before eyes of full-fledged model of the relations between the man and the woman. Having matured, such children often transfer what got used to the families.
From conversation with the child.
Mother hard one. And here the new person, with the character and ideas of the family relations enters her life. Children have a father, to be exact, the person who applies for it " so far; rank “. And here the new family begins. Children can accept or not accept to the world “ fresh “ inhabitant. At this stage a lot of things depend on behavior of the stepfather. Here several simple recommendations to the new father:
1. The very first days of communication with children - decisive. Still before you will become a family (if there is such intention), children have to want to communicate with you more often.
2. They have to understand that you want for their mother only good.
3. Remember that you can act in the opinion of children as a peculiar aggressor of the territory, a certain negative force which tries to separate them from mother.
4. Communication of mother and children is very strong, but and the new father is not indifferent to mother. The general care and interest in this person can rally the stepfather and children.
5. The stepfather should not be for children “ black box “. That there were mutual understanding sprouts, it is necessary most to reveal itself before children. The main thing - already now to take all possible steps that in the future children could address freely for council the stepfather in difficult life situations.
6. You do not look at children who become yours now, from top to down, and you approach them, as equal.
7. Do not try to teach something against their will. Awaken better interest in with what you want to borrow.
8. Do not give a reason to suspect themselves of insincerity. For this purpose you should not represent any feelings if they are absent actually. For example, better do not ask the child as its affairs in school if actually to you is not present before this any business if your thoughts took other problems at the time of a question. Why? Your intonation will give lack of interest of you. Even if it will occur not in the first day and even not in the first week of family communication. All know that children is shrewd psychologists, but we often underestimate sense of this knowledge.
9. Remember that now your life became even more saturated. And not the number of your problems and cares increased, and, first of all, the scale of your opportunities grew.
10. That children treated you as to the father, it is necessary to fall in love with them. That you felt as far as they are dear to you, already now it is necessary to put in them the work, care and own time.
Of course, your educational and educational courses towards children have to recognize from their age and what in them is already put. In the presence of desire to construct the real family it will be easier for you as you will not begin to perceive children of darling an obstacle in development of the relations.
Only this way from the artificial father it is possible to turn into the skillful father.