“ Red List “ national trade. How to classify shop assistants?
Nobody likes to go shopping, nobody likes to go on the markets. I often dream of a gas spray with tear, and it is better nervously - paralytic gas which would raspryskivat in inanimate faces of representatives of national trade. But I against violence also do not want that the wave of my fair anger overflowed the innocent, only similar to shop assistants, citizens. Today I categorize them and I call readers for fight!
Shop assistant ordinary (cashier)
the Most widespread type of shop assistants. Numerous ON are scattered across all territory of our country, from capital supermarkets to small Saturday general stores. In clothes ON prefer bright synthetic aprons in a large pea and it is dark - blue sateen dressing gowns. Unfortunately, the grandiose project of Slava Zaytsev is a thing of the past - the fur trade jackets adored it is universal all Soviet shop assistants. If to judge by the smell proceeding from such jacket, and, perhaps, and directly from a subsoil of her owner, the svezhezabity animal was just turned out by fur inside while ordinary telogreechny fabric pristrachivatsya outside. These miracles of design thought turned shop assistants in fleshy gluttonous caterpillars and commanded to buyers respect and fear. Both Soviet, and their successors - the Russian shop assistants, are distinguished by a small, but florid lexical stock. So, causes bewilderment in most of reasonable people (not shop assistants) a classical Soviet inscription on the price tag - “ in assortment “. It is the strange phrase, being absolutely senseless, steadily irritates me with the obligatory presence. In general, shop assistants ordinary differ in mean behavior; communication with them leaves a characteristic burdensome deposit at the buyer:
- The woman, at me delivery from a pyatist will not be. I where it is possible to exchange do not know. Ask in a stall through the road, and then already you approach me. The rich everything became too. Exchanged? Well, you see...
to you in what department? How you do not know? It is necessary to look... You do not know, I definitely do not know. No, we have no packages. Stop shouting at me, the woman. I am not obliged to serve you at all.
The shop assistant of expensive shop (doll)
the Shop assistant of expensive shop, unlike the cashier, is usually well dressed, quite often familiar with bases of a good form. PDM often give themselves for owners of shop and/or fashionable designers. In conversation with you she will indulgently grin and will ask to show large notes for the subsequent continuation of conversation. If you do not manage to fit into its standards about good taste - a leather jacket from Guffi (it is made in turkish), zhynets from Valentino (it is made in Kong - Konge), then, most likely, PDM will thrust to you under nose the price tag from a nasal kerchief so that it in eyes zaryabit from zero, and, having started missing, will turn away.
It is easy to imagine that shop assistants of expensive shops do not get on long near cashiers; the successful observer can notice how they spitefully hiss at each other, showing long claws and the small pointed teeths. Summing up the result of the aforesaid, shop assistants of expensive shops can safely be characterized as spiteful and crafty creatures: - Good afternoon, than I can help you? You look for a gift? What sum you have?. And all this?!! You what, you look after socks? You were lucky - we have a sale of products of Dolche today - Gabana. Only today, having bought from us one sock, you absolutely free of charge receive the second! Besides, on all goods of Dolche - Gabana we give 10 - a day guarantee. Of course, provided that you will not carry them.
The shop assistant in the box (invisible being)
of PVB is absolutely unique kind of shop assistants. Advantage of communication with PVB is that it occurs only through a small window of a booth. The fact of direct physical isolation of the shop assistant obviously installs a certain pleasure in the consumer. On the other hand, being a quite good psychologist and understanding that behind the show-window forced by beer, a vobla and cigarettes you cannot make out its impudent, running a peephole, the shop assistant in the box constantly strives to shortchange you. In case of the noticed deception you vainly try to comprehend the part of the shop assistant which is sticking out of the box, namely her zagrebisty, thievish hand. The box also serves as a shelter and a hiding place of the shop assistant therefore every time, watching leave the hundred ruble bank note which is carried away by this hand, I hear how it is disturbing my heart knocks. . For obvious reasons we know of external furniture of PVB not much, there is an opinion that they not far left the aforesaid cashiers, however in this respect the science has no facts now.
- So, what to you juice?
- Apple! Apple! - you feverishly put the head in a dark window of a booth. - Show
on a show-window! - (A request idiotic in essence, numerous experiences it is proved that the shop assistant in the box cannot see on what you show it, being outside).
- This. No, below. No, above, now more to the right. Yes, yes!. What did you give me? I asked apple... So and this... And you did not give delivery to me with hundred...
- the Girl, you did not give hundred to me. You gave me fifty, I returned you two tens...
The market dealer
the Market dealer in popularity approaches the shop assistant ordinary. With rare exception, its working form consists from hairy (practically an angorka) reytuz, boots - dutyshy with eternally displaced sole and the balakhonisty jacket drawn on a waist by a corbel - a sack for money. RT head in winter time the immemorial symbol of the Soviet welfare - a fur cap crowns. Unlike above-mentioned categories of shop assistants, RT distinguishes pronounced desire to you something to sell. If, trying on the next model of a business women`s suit, more similar to a horse saddle, you notice that trousers are short in length and are long in width, a jacket kuyets hangs on your sickly coat hanger, and on a breast “ puffs up “ obviously flattering your sickly bust, the market dealer will with insult be thrown up: “ In vain you so, the girl, is just a modelka such. From the last " collection;.
- How much?
- Two thousand, you will take, I will give for one and a half. (There is no thanks, not I will take, by the way, for three you can keep. )
- And that dress on the top with long sleeves?
- If you take, I to you will get and I will show. (Well, it seems everything is right if I do not take, then what to me horse-radish, with what it sleeves?)]