How to disaccustom the loved one to raise on you the voice?
Many, likely, came up against such situation when darling in the course of conversation with you passes to shout. Let`s understand why it occurs. Most often the main reasons is the following:
- It can be a trait of character;
- often clamorousness is a human dissoluteness! And only in 3% of cases is a disease;
- it can be nervous breakdown;
- disrespect for the half;
- of a problem at work on which indignation is vented on you; by
- it is connected with its profession, for example, your partner - the military at a commander position;
- it can have Napoleon`s complex: the person of very small growth tries to compensate this shortcoming by shout to prove the relevancy;
- when something is impossible to it; when the person is unhappy
Due to this subject I want to tell you one fairy tale :
Lived the old man with the grandma - swore often and not once in the course of the day. Lived so all life, and, eventually, all this got them. Came the old man to the wise man and speaks: “ Help us to return the world to a family “. Also explained that to what: “ I the grandma the word will tell, and she to me two, I to her two - she to me three, and so we swear every day “.
That answers it: “ I here will give you magic water - as soon as you start over again swearing, you in a mouth gather it and hold until the old woman ceases to scold you. Water this magic - in a moment will cure both of you “.
Came the old man home, and the grandma to him from the furnace at once: “ You where old gadded, again idle go... “ also went to chikhvostit it. The grandfather remembered magic water, drank it and in a mouth holds, looks at the grandma. The grandma swore, swore, looks - the grandfather answers nothing to her, he has water in a mouth. Bothered it to one to swear, she also became silent. Here the grandfather also spat out water. And as the grandma started over again being brought, he again water in a mouth also is silent.
So they also began to live peacefully - to live, then even water did not become necessary.
Here several the most effective and simple ways to return the world and rest to your family:
- Arrive as the grandfather from the fairy tale: let your half shout, squeals, and you keep mum and do not pay attention to it. Over time, having ceased to receive a response to shouts, your half will cease to raise on you the voice. Take “ opponent “ starvation.
- When your opponent begins to shout, at conversation pass not just to the lowered tone, and to whisper. Then to it to hear you, it is necessary to listen, so, to lower the voice.
- Try to explain
to the half that all of us are civilized people and we can quite communicate in normal tone. Besides, shout is always weakness manifestation. Tell
- that talk to this person when he calms down because when he so shouts, you badly hear it.
this person: with whom he is angry at present, with himself or with you or maybe with someone else. Suggest it to define the true reason of the rage. Perhaps, he not so explained something to someone, and someone something not so made this, perhaps, he did not check something and the situation left from - under control that led to not really good outcome. Generally, let will be engaged in a heart-searching, the analysis of a situation. And, you speak all this to your better half in a low voice and benevolent tone. Gradually his anger will die away.
- Try to explain
to the opponent that you should not transfer the professional habits to the house as, for example, in a case with military.
on a fright of your half to lose you. Suggest to disperse and if he values you, then will cease to shout. For the first time just threaten and if does not help, take more resolute actions.
- Simply leave the place of fight and wait a storm.
- Is one more interesting method. In the heat of shouts begin to bark loudly and for a long time. When your opponent becomes silent, and will look with astonishment at you, just tell: here so you communicate with people. Let he will see himself from outside. If it has a conscience, it will be ashamed and will cease.
- If really disturb you such flashes of your partner, talk to it, explain to him what you feel at this moment.
- Read good books on practical psychology. Recommendations from them will be useful for any kinds of communication.
- It can also be nervous breakdown. Then there is a sense to address the expert. In this case softly and unostentatiously recommend to it to see a doctor, for his benefit.