As far as you are close? or the Love proksemika of
Sometimes the man and the woman even after long history of relationship cannot decide on as far as they are close. For example, can seem to the woman that is with her a number of people of which she dreamed all life. The man at the same time is capable to define the same relations as temporary as if a certain stop, a respite on the way of search of the best or, at least, more suitable, than that with which it now.
To be objective, it is necessary to tell that everything can be exactly the opposite: the woman sees the man only as temporary hobby, and he identifies her with own destiny. Unfortunately (or perhaps and fortunately) there are no universal scales by means of which it is possible to measure the feelings, and the situation with an assessment of what is felt by the partner is even more difficult.
Let`s consider closer how the relations between partners are organized. As criterion of degree of proximity we will use change of the relation of altruistic and egoistical desires of partners.
It is possible to allocate four levels of proximity. We will conditionally designate the first two as “ egoistical “ (with an orientation on), and two more - “ altruistic “ (an orientation on the partner). Emphasizing convention of levels, I remind once again that the love cannot be packed into any schemes. Moreover, accuracy can characterize by this system both love, and the friendly relations to some extent.
Below you will read some characteristic features of each of four levels. It is some kind of love neoproksemika (it shows how far you stand in love from each other), i.e. the qualitative characteristic of the organization of proximity between people who are each other very interesting.
1 level: “ Closed egoistical “. to
to It there corresponds allocation of the pleasant person from crowd, desire to be with it and possible realization of this desire. At the same time there is no full confidence to darling. An opportunity to open the feelings before the partner strongly frightens. Interest in it or in it is changeable. This person suddenly very strongly is not enough, it seems that it is possible to do also without him.
2 level: “ Open egoistical “. For it the jealousy and changes, attempts to sort out the relations are often inclined
. Partners well know the friend - the friend, but yet there is no full mutual understanding. In a spatial proksemika this level corresponds to very frequent stay of darling or darling in a so-called intimate zone which each person has (the next fifty centimeters about our bodies).
3 level: “ Closed altruistic “.
Readiness to make everything for the partner becomes natural state. Life without another becomes difficult imaginable. The most pleasant in the relations of such level -
to play an essential role in the partner`s life and to enjoy his presence in the palace of your own thoughts.
4 level: “ Open altruistic “.
Corresponds to complementarity and continuous improvement at the expense of a unification of two Persons. Time spent with the partner gives intolerable pleasure in independence of with what you are busy. Apogee of all emotional experiences, top of trust and mutual understanding.
Now about the practical importance of a similar love proksemika. The given differentiation of degree of proximity of people can force you to try to understand that you most of all appreciate in the relations. Any of these levels is impossible in pure form without mix of others.
If one of them most describes your relations with darling, then think how to make them even more brightly, there is no limit to perfection! Emotionally - sensual space between you and those whom you love it is not distance which divides you, but the world, which should be filled. It can be made if to analyse your relations at the moment of time and with what you want to see them.
Be not afraid of changes to the best and become even closer to each other!