What styles of parental communication happen?
When the kid go to school, there is a new social situation demanding revision of the developed relationship.
In each family there are nuances of creation of communication with children, but all their variety can be reduced to three main directions, so-called styles of communication: authoritative, authoritative and popustitelsky.
For what it is necessary to know about style of communication? Because incorrectly chosen style of communication can:
to Suppress sincere and creative rushes of the child;
to Stop development of its abilities;
to Muffle identity manifestations;
to Deprive of the child of vital skills and abilities.
Depending on type of education it is possible to allocate various types of children.
Authoritative parents are initiative, kind children. those parents who love Are authoritative
and understand children, preferring not to punish them, and to explain to them what is good that is bad and why, without being afraid once again to praise. They demand from children of intelligent behavior and try to help them, sensitively treat their inquiries, however at the same time do not indulge children`s whims.
Children at such parents are usually inquisitive, try to prove, but not to impose the point of view, they responsibly treat the duties. They are given assimilation of socially acceptable and approved behavior forms easier. They are more vigorous and sure of themselves, they better developed self-respect and self-checking. It is easier for them to improve the relations with peers.
Authoritative parents - children, irritable, inclined to the conflicts.
Authoritative parents consider that the child should not grant too much freedom and the rights that he has to submit to their water and the authority implicitly. They seek to develop discipline at the child, without leaving him an opportunity for the choice of options of behavior, limit his independence, deprive of the right to object seniors even if the child is right. The adult is always right! If the adult is not right, see above! Rigid control of behavior - a basis of their education which often does not go further severe bans, reprimands and quite often physical punishments.
At children at such education only the mechanism of external control is formed, sense of guilt and fear of punishment and, as a rule, weak self-checking develops if it in general is shown.
The tolerating parents are impulsive, aggressive children.
Such parents are, as a rule, not inclined to control the children, allowing them to arrive as will like up to that do not pay attention to fits of anger and aggressions of behavior, do not demand from them responsibility, independence.
Such type of education leads to the fact that children have no desire to acquire social norms of behavior, self-checking and a sense of responsibility is not formed. They in every way avoid all new, unexpected, unknown of fear to choose an incorrect form of behavior at collision with this new.
How there are your relations with children? Who does not want to receive the answer to this question! The famous domestic psychologist R. Ovcharova for obtaining the answer the test - game. Note those phrases which you often use in communication with children:
1. How many time to you to repeat! 2
2. Advise me, please... 2
3. I do not know what I without you would do. 1
4. And in whom you such were born? 2
5. What remarkable friends at you! 1
6. Well to whom you are similar! 2
7. I in your time!. 2
8. You are my support and the assistant. 1
9. Well for friends at you! 2
10. What you only think of! 2
11. What you at me the clear head! 1
12. And how you consider, the sonny? 1
13. All have children how children, and you? 2
14. What you at me bright! 1
count total of points Now.
7 - 8 points - you live with the child in perfect harmony. He sincerely loves and respects you. Your relations promote harmonious formation of the personality.
10 - 12 points - you are inconsistent in the relations with the child. He respects you, though is not always frank with you. Its development is subject to influence of casual circumstances.
Of course, this game - only a hint on the real situation, and at the same time - information to reflection. From the fact that the child hears in the childhood what educational process is focused on: on convenience of parents or development of the child - that depends, this kid in the future will be how successful.]