To live together... How to treat a civil marriage?
In the West a civil marriage practice long ago. Recently such relations became popular also with us. More and more couples consider that before the REGISTRY OFFICE it is necessary to live together, to look narrowly at future spouse. On the one hand, many pluses have such relations. Freedom - psychological and documentary, extension of the romantic period, an opportunity is easy to leave. On the other hand, the civil marriage has under itself sharp reefs. Also they concern not romanticism at all. As such marriage does not admit the law, a case “ divorce “ cohabitants have no legitimate rights for joint property. “ With what came - with that and left “ - motto of a civil marriage.
I on the “ to a skin “ tested what is a civil marriage, however, ended it successfully.
We were in love and happy. Of course, I passionately dreamed to marry the darling, and here waited for that concerning moment when he one fine day made me the proposal. No, not hands and heart, and just suggested to live together, so to speak, to look narrowly to each other.
- Everything that it is necessary for us - it is our love, - my knight with inspiration whispered, and I gave up, having answered “ yes “.
Perhaps, it was the first mistake, my idea of a family was reduced to other thesis: the family is something strong, indestructible, once and for the rest of life . As my parents had it. For a minute heart clenched: means, we will have no magnificent wedding, it is necessary to speak somehow with relatives, to get used to a malicious whispering of neigbours...
My fears made laugh darling.
- What is a wedding? To whom what business before with whom you live? Really the stamp in the passport is so important for you?
He assured that today almost all so do: will live several years in a civil marriage, and then already go to the REGISTRY OFFICE. To check itself, so to speak, for compatibility. And in the West it is in general norm... Joked that I “ Turgenev young lady “ and in general I go without cadence over time.
I listened to it, and I very much wanted to object it that if many states and recognize lawful cohabitation with all that it implies, then we have in this question for the present a crunch. In - the second who will give a guarantee that in the future all of us will issue our relations? Personally I know the mass of cases when guys “ rehearsed “ family life with one, and married another.
Alas, I kept silent, and it became my second mistake. It is clear to the fool that the decision on cohabitation has to be mutual and voluntary, and I was against, but all agreed.
And here I “ she is married “ also I treat the new role with all responsibility as if I have a stamp in the passport and a wedding ringlet on a finger. And darling periodically reminds:
- However, is healthy that we did not connect ourselves by silly formality? But we have such sharpness of feelings!
But I am silent because I was tired to lie to relatives that I rent apartment together with the girlfriend. And still I feel very sorry for mother who for years saved for my wedding...
I remember how it went with friends “ on " beer; and then at night all of them were filled up to get acquainted to us “ with new girls - Andrey`s friend “. Biting lips for offense, I then left on kitchen. Unless they could come to the family House here so? And why at himself at work Andrey is considered the enviable groom? Itself saw how little girls with it coquetted though they know that it has me. Yes because do not take me seriously. Not the wife...
And what then, tell, at us? Cohabitation? The word is that what... slippery. As if my life with expensive “ cohabitant “ did not turn into the tale of a downtime...
Having analysed all the last misses, I was in a forceful mood: let him consider me as the unmodern sitting duck dreaming of a lawful nest, but or he marries me, or we, as before, will meet in the neutral territory. I do not agree to half measures. Having listened to my ultimatum, Andrey shrugged shoulders:
- I wanted that it was better for you, but if you insist on official registration of the relations, then...
He hesitated, in a flowery style confusing the phrase, but I did not hurry - let itself will tell it, otherwise will reproach then that I “ drove him into the corner “ “ seized the moment “. Fortunately, I did not manage to tell what we will have...
He learned about it only after a wedding - real, with guests and rings by cars.
I for a second do not regret that I became the official wife. But now, when someone from young girls begins to argue on benefit and advantage of a civil marriage, I advise to weigh everything “ for “ and “ against “ because learned by own experience - the person subconsciously perceives such free union as “ draft copy “ in which both blots, and blots, and even correction of mistakes are admissible. Believe that there is a huge difference: to be a lawful wife or just the girlfriend ! Though at everyone the history and, perhaps, someone`s relations last for years without official stamp in the passport...]