How to avoid false modesty, or we Accept gratitude adequately.
Many of us still feel awkward when we are praised, express us gratitude or gratitude. We are lost, even when we consider that we are praiseworthy. Sometimes it is difficult for us to believe in sincerity of the words told in our address, especially when they are said by teachers or heads who often use a praise as incentive for further productive work.
We got used to live in the world where it is necessary to pay for everything where a praise it is necessary to deserve. We did not get used to receive something just like that. You remember the children`s animated film “ Just like that “ where the boy just like that presented a bouquet of wild flowers to a sad burro? Even these animation characters of Soviet period were difficult to believe that something happens just like that.
Often we rush in an extreme. On the one hand, we suffer from egoism manifestation which forces us to think: “ I am a superstar, time me is so highly appreciated “. On the other hand, we fall into false modesty, and we say that “ it was possible to me “ “ do not mention it “ etc.
But behind each action of the person who thanks you and behind our actions cost feelings of the person, desire and requirement which we seek to satisfy. If to them to listen, try to understand what feelings move us what requirements were satisfied by us and those who thank us, to us will be possible to accept more simply this gratitude and to make it worthy.
In one of the books the Marshal Rosenberg (Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph. D.) describes a case which set it a fine example of how it is necessary to accept thanks. Doctor Rosenberg held a seminar for group of Palestinians and Israelis, training them in a technique of nonaggressive communication (Nonviolent Communications, NVC). At the end of a seminar one of participants approached it and told: “ This training very much will help us in peace-making with our country. I would like to thank you as we, devout Muslims, do it when we want to express special gratitude for something “. Having hooked on the thumb for mine, it, looking to me directly in eyes, told: “ I kiss the Lord in you for the fact that he allowed you to make what you made “. After that kissed a hand.
This case gives the chance to understand that in each of us there is certain great force which can make the world better. And if we realize that this force, working through us, improves life of people around us, then, accepting gratitude, we can avoid both manifestation of egoism, and false modesty.
Words of the writer Marianna Vilyamson (Marianne Williamson) are one more reminder allowing to avoid false modesty. “ We are afraid more not of the fact that we are insufficiently good, and that we are powerful excessively. Light in us, but not darkness frighten us most of all. We are the Lord`s children. And petty games are not pleasing to the World.
There is nothing good in belittling the advantages, it does not allow to feel confident. We are given birth to show to the world all magnificence of the Lord hidden in us. And, as soon as we will allow internal light to spill, thereby we will unconsciously let others know that they can make the same. As soon as we are exempted from our fear, our example automatically releases the others “.
The boy wanted to make a good deed of an animated cartoon, to present someone pleasure, to satisfy the requirement to be necessary and useful. You remember how its example inspired the others how many the wild beasts made happy a simple bouquet of wild flowers? Be not over-modest, at heart and you are capable of the greatest sincere generosity and are worthy that you were told for it “ Thanks! “.]