Jealousy - the friend or the enemy?
Great Shakespeare called jealousy a monster with green eyes once. Having lodged in heart, it begins to divide and dominate, dictating the rules of the painful, painful and exhausting game. Whether and game it, when in the final - the broken relations, dramas and even crimes?. Often among people we hear such statements: “ Is jealous of each column “ “ Tortured the jealousy “ “ Is jealous as the patient, does not give to pass “ “ The Drama because of jealousy “ “ Is jealous - means loves “. So all - it jealousy - the enemy or the friend?
According to medical researches, 90% of adult residents of Germany suffer from jealousy. Scientists from the city of Cottbus claim that it influences a physical condition of an organism and is shown in the form of sleeplessness or tachycardia. Jealous men quite often suffer from severe pains in a stomach and problems with intestines. Sometimes the jealousy has also extreme manifestations. The people subject to strong attacks of jealousy lose the head and are capable even to commit a crime. In this case the jealousy becomes pathology.
The jealousy - painful feeling of doubt in someone`s fidelity and love - is always connected with rivalry, and more in sex. On the one hand the person who is jealous feels discomfort as it disturbs him constantly, on the other hand the one who is jealous, gets exhausted constant reproaches and restriction of a personal liberty. First of all, the jealousy overcomes people impressionable, vulnerable, hypochondriac, diffident, with the underestimated self-assessment. It is peculiar to people who are inclined to get stuck on trifles and to take offense long. Very sharply the jealousy is endured at youthful age that is connected with the aggravated feelings of imperfection and immaturity, but with the advent of experience it gradually leaves.
But there are people who suffer from jealousy and at mature age. For example, among man`s stresses the betrayal of the wife is classified as the strongest blow. At such moment the strongest flash of jealousy and anger poyavlyavlyatsya, and some men have feeling of compression in a breast, so-called “ sinking heart “ and even feeling full “ ostolbeneniye “. Using protective mechanisms, the organism weakens these feelings, but diseases develop subsequently. By the way, those men who get fat not on days and on hours, are victims of a stress from - for jealousy. The feeling of constant concern influences appetite. It once again convinces that jealousy - the enemy.
But were jealous always and at all times, and nobody died of jealousy yet. Yes, marriages broke up, cases of aggressive behavior from - for jealousy were observed, but, as well as many other feelings of the person, jealousy was, is and will be. So can, all - the friend? By the nature the jealousy very socially, without excesses promotes transformation of the person and is a driving force of natural selection. Rivalry forces to fight for love and to be improved. The person becomes more sympathetic to feelings jealous, values the half, renewing or strengthening the family relations. But, as soon as oversteps the admissible limits, turns life into a nightmare.
One my acquaintance told me such story about the life.
U it was a usual family and fine family relationship, but since recent time the husband began to hide the relations from it and to torment with jealous statements of type: “ You very gently look at my friend … “ “ Why you talked to it so quietly and too politely? You with it have something? “ “ You do not pay attention to me " at all;. The relations became tense and insincere, business reached divorce.
It is fine that the woman thought of it, otherwise marriage could break up. In this case we can only assume that in life of the man the woman - the competitor, perhaps appeared, the girlfriend who raised his status in his own eyes. The husband began to state claims and reproaches to the half, to torment it with jealousy though at most “ finger in the pie “. The love, jealousy and change in this case were extremely close. The situation was resolved successfully, the family was kept.
Of course, unambiguously according to statements it is impossible to judge jealousy or change, but if similar situations arise, I recommend to women to read Andre Maurois “ Letters to the stranger “ where they will find for themselves useful tips. And in general, categorically it is impossible to play with jealousy, to tease, kindle quarrel, to do dependent on itself the loved one.
What to do in case jealousy to become importunate, how in the described case?
In - the first, talk to the one who is jealous, and find out the jealousy reason. Try to raise the status of the personality in a concrete situation, you speak to a thicket about its importance. To the man - that he is a defender, the head of family, the careful person and the magnificent father. Sometimes men need it more, than the weaker sex. To the woman - the remarkable hostess, beautiful, kind, gentle and loving.
In - the second, pay more attention to the neighbors: one - two tender words told since morning will seed pleasure and great mood in a family for all day.
In - the third, daily remind the members of household that you love them. If you love, then be not jealous groundlessly and be happy. Live with words: “ The Cozy house and a close-knit family - my psychology “.
Several of concrete councils for disposal of jealousy.
Rule first: if you want to get rid of jealousy, then work on the self-assessment and self-confidence. Change to the best!
Rule second: do not allow your aggressive impulses to be discharged on those objects which are expensive to you, attack virtually hostile objects!
Rule third: you love those who to you are not indifferent and you treat them with understanding.
Rule fourth: correctly form all the desires, and not only concerning jealousy. ]