Whether there is a friendship between the man and the woman? WhetherCan exist the true firm friendship between the man and the woman? For certain often school students ask this question, sitting at a school desk! As cannot understand what the feeling causing keen interest in the schoolmate or the schoolmate is. Whether friendship? Whether love?
There passes time, and they become the best friends and begin to believe in friendship between the boy and the girl, the man and the woman. They are the happiest people because did not realize the law of an attraction yet. They do not understand yet that plus reaches for minus, and minus for plus. What bad reaches to good, and good for bad. That a lot of things in this world are based on a power exchange. That everything in life supplements each other, both these additions, and a power exchange are, as a rule, negative in comparison.
Friendship between the man and the woman - concept anyway relative as they are heterosexual beings. And draft to each other can occur only against sympathy. The woman is weak and fragile how she can be other man, a basic element of friendship support at a difficult moment and how the woman can support that in whom subconsciously, potentially sees the defender and the father of family is considered?
How the man can see the friend in the woman? He first of all feels its smell, she estimates external data, subconsciously for it sexual object as a female in herd. And if it at the same time is good itself, then it in general animal instincts seize and it falls prey in his eyes. Of course, he can speak with it about sublime and fine, ignore flesh call, convince itself(himself) that it is only friendship. For the time being …
So, they become friends. Very lovely and beautifully their friendly relations proceed, until, so far councils and experiences the friend for the friend do not lead them to a bed. As a rule, it occurs while it is bad to both. It did not develop at it, he left the girlfriend. The grief and pain, offense and disappointment unite them. They begin to understand each other, more than ever. Choke with own saliva, telling about how it changed it or as she threw it. For certain it occurs in the bar, or club where there is a binge. Then he, the friend, volunteers to see off it, she kindly agrees. They reach an entrance, and she with tears in the eyes rushes to its embraces and speaks about that, as if she did not want to remain in this difficult moment one. He as the true gentleman and the true friend, volunteers to support her and is easily invited to a coffee cup. Drank coffee. It is time to sleep. Laid down, friendly, can also on one sofa. And the light touch of her hand also becomes that moment which crosses out friendship. They tasted a forbidden fruit. Here it is standard model of development of the friendly relations between the man and the woman.
Now as it seems to them, or it seems to one of them, the relation will be far stronger. But actually the former friendship and present love unites someone, and to someone on the contrary creates problems. When we are on friendly terms, we do not notice many moments. We do not see what becomes visible in the relations love. And then all or comes to an end, there is no friendship and there is no love, and sometimes on the contrary develops, becomes stronger and becomes indestructible.
I will not be new if I tell that from the point of view of the psychologist and the sexologist, friendship of the man and woman - absolutely unnatural form of relationship which can exist rather long on time only in one case - people are pleasant each other, but there are force majeure circumstances which are not giving them the chance to become lovers, or one of the parties madly wants the love relations, and the second persistently ignores hints of the first! This axiom is born from practical analysis of many concrete situations and is always confirmed by life. The same-sex friendship can be based on mutual respect, similarity of views and characters, that we can quietly discuss with the friend (or the girlfriend) all peripetias of our intimate life and to get concerning it advice.
The friendship between the man and the woman carries absolutely other power color - to friends pleasantly to be in society of each other, cheeks turn pink, there is an exchange of energy, here only without explosion leading a catalyzing of love process - it does not come, the relations are maintained smoothly and touchingly, and their transition to a love stage often is a bolt from the blue for one of participants of this tandem. Notice, for one! Then it becomes clear, as a rule, that the second already was long ago and it is hopelessly in love, and agreed to a role of the friend, or even consciously played this role not to be refused at once to become necessary at least so to communicate with object of the passion. If it is school students, the young man and the girl, then the first is in love, as a rule. But if it is people of mature age, then there is a situation with accuracy " much more often; to on the contrary “ - the woman - the friend, seeing in the chief or the patron the most ideal man in the world, but he, owing to a huge set of offers, does not perceive her as sexual object at all.
There is also a friendship between the married man and the married woman where the fortress of this friendship depends only on their moral foundations and on the relations with the half. Such relations, of course, lead sooner or later to a bed because in their families everything cannot be always ideal and if both of them a long time are drawn towards this heterosexual friendship, so do not receive in addition any human warmth in a family. And, at last, there are still the third subspecies of friendship between the man and the woman - it is when they were already lovers, left, but it developed so that they did not want to lose that sincere or business communication which they acquired in couple - and remained friends. In this case, the friendship just is rather stable because these heterosexual friends already came from there where all others seek to get!
Analyzing such here " vapors on psychoanalysis sessions; friends “ I always came to a conclusion that in life of these people there are very deeply hidden emotional processes which can influence very strongly their life, both in positive, and in negative sense. In some degree the friendship between the man and the woman can be very dangerous to our psychological health if we do not even guess what subconscious motives stand behind it. And in the same way the heterosexual friendship can be that absolutely salutary factor allowing us to believe in itself and to remain afloat in this life. The heterosexual friendship, especially long, is happy is dangerous to the person as it is only visible part of that emotional iceberg which leads to psychological comfort, or to psychological discomfort! The love relations between the man and the woman are always clear - clear that one what another tries to obtain wants. With friendship it is harder and harder - we very seldom can clearly see its true motives.
So, you have a friend or the girlfriend not of your floor? Think that through some time these relations can bring you into a bed. You want it? Then continue to communicate. You are afraid of it? Try to stop this friendship. You cannot just imagine that it can really occur? Re-read this article from the very beginning!