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Fantastic fighter G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra . Who in Hollywood did not play enough in tell-tales?

we Will agree that we will not call this forshmak the word cinema . It is possible to use everything that the soul will wish - an attraction, a show, circus with horses, dances with stars and so forth. But to to the most important of arts Stephen Sommerz`s movie has relation very mediated. As Square Malevich - to painting, and Zverev - to singing.

But, considering that Sommerz everything is not the errand boy any more, and quite taken place entertainer, a show it turned out impressive and rollicking. Almost like at Emmerich, other fan to rescue mankind. Only this time, unlike the previous works Mummy and The Mummy comes back the director forgot to enclose in the child the main thing - to shower. What led to birth next deadborn vankhelsing .

For those who not in a subject, G. I. Joe are such militaristic dolls who makes Hasbro, one of the world`s largest companies on production of toys. By the way, its subsoil left heroes Iron Man and Stories of toys . But here with the screen version of the tell-tales the firm was not lucky. Something did not grow together from the very beginning.

Went by the principle to take 5 screenwriters, to put all to the close, badly ventilated room, to forget to feed and take away on all a couple of hours . Asked? All right. Brainstorming took place in attempts to be chosen and when forces ran low, children took additional minute and bungled, as they say, from what was that is from any nonsense and rags. Having diligently stuffed more stamps and a cliche in the scenario, creators of a plot reproduced on light the ideal Hollywood blockbuster - loud, but faceless.

Americans love themselves not only to praise, but also to punish publicly. It is the principle of democracy and freedom of speech. Therefore, along with Transformers Michael Bae, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra it was naturally nominated on Gold " raspberry;. But did not receive. Probably on a scale of frank kretinizm it all - did not gather additionally to steam of points. Or touched? You will sort their horse-radish. On collecting precisely blew clean, having paid back not sickly 175 - the million budget only in world hire. So Gold " raspberry; To Bae - as a consolation prize.

It is a little - absolutely a little - about in what they are engaged there. The world is in danger again. In spite of the fact that James Bond, the Fantastic four and Batman periodically smooth out the territory from any schizoid persons who got a false idea themselves Kings of the world (not to confuse to James Cameron), nevertheless they as if shit in the sewerage, are never translated. This time the head of weapon corporation MARS James Makkallen (Christopher Ekklston), the hereditary capitalist and the traitor intended to take control of the blue planet.

His pocket mad scientist invented special breed of bugs - nanomit which and the tank will eat in only a few seconds and operate the person can do for not figs. Having filled with these small wretches rocket warheads, Makkallen at first sells them in NATO, then ships production shipment at own expense from the mountain zavodik in Kyrgyzstan that later a couple of hours most to steal the good from a carrier and to accuse of all careless military. Why such difficult scheme? Because it is necessary to enter warring parties into a plot - the " team; Alpha G. I. Joe and own bandits of Makkallen - baroness de Cobreille (in the world Anna Lewis) and white nindzyu by nickname Storm " Shadow; (what it meant, sounds threateningly). It is such tie of history.

What then? Then - a standard package for fantastic fighters of komiksovy heroes. Pursuits in nanosuits, firing from nanoguns, destruction of the distressful Eiffel Tower (which all who feel like it bring down), fight on submarines and - la star wars under a thick layer of polar ices, firing from all modern types of arms and other technological excesses. All these pydydyshch and women are removed, certainly, at the highest level. It is necessary only to guess how many kernels at those computers on which all this is drawn. However besides a thuja hucha of special effects, from a plot then it is impossible to remember something concrete.

Heroes so long and persistently shpynyat and mutuzit the friend to the friend that by the end is simple - naprosto forget the reason of all these concerns if only ours won. To me personally in a brain especially sank down extended Celtic phrase Takheyn . Now for New year to be closer to our Scottish brothers, it is possible to tell for the sake of a variety Fir-tree, Takheyn! Perhaps, will work. In the movie worked. And so, in general, the second half of the movie passes by the principle fight in the Crimea - all in a smoke and the viewer needs only to lean back in a chair and to thoughtfully shower popcorn in a mouth.

Now still slightly - slightly about actor`s game and so on. In total - there are so much stars of a ponabrala, money to them pumped into the fees. Really in vain? Of course, no. But not all. Obviously overpaid to some.

To take, for example, the main character whose role played Tatum`s Channing. Friends, it is a total miskasting. I think if invited the same Chris Pine from Star Trek the movie would only win. A sad ugly face of Tatum and him without fail the unfortunate look is got already somewhere in the fifth minute of viewing. His memoirs from the " series; I loved it, it me not really and as I to death true sent the friend only aggravate feeling of pity. Alas, this actor did not grow to male roles and his ceiling yet - cool guys on a dance floor. There though izrydaysya, there the world should not be saved.

As if understanding that with Tatum everything will be slowly and sadly to it entered freaky Marlon Ueyans into couple. It was always pleasant to me more other brothers Ueyans which whole seven. And three more sisters. That case when sometimes the quantity turns into quality. And so Marlon lights on full. Of course, not so brightly, as in the well-known movies Do not threaten the southern tsentral and Very terrible cinema but the character constantly cracks jokes it and sometimes it is even really amusing. Actually, concerning casting, this only hit in a point.

In a picture there are also female characters. Whole two. Good Shang (Rachelle Nichols) and the baroness (Sienna Miller) who went over to the enemy. I did not notice special problems with their game because I did not notice the game. Shana there only for an interior that Marlon Ueyans did not miss. And Sienna Miller even awarded raspberry for the worst female role of the second plan. What, I consider, just unfairly. No, I did not see all candidates for this award, but, in my opinion, to Sienna just did not bring. If swept her character some nanothermite grenade, then, of course, these critics would not decide to mock at a breathless corpse. And so, receive - undersign.

Why, it is asked, Sommerz took for a role of a glavgad of absolutely gray and inconspicuous Ekklston when it near at hand had incredibly charismatic Arnold Voslu with whom the director skoreshitsya on shootings of Mummies? For me its choice forever will remain a riddle. But Voslu plays some, I will not be afraid of this word, priduroshny pepper, with a minimum of remarks and screen time. Generally, trade their Sommerz places, and, perhaps, it would do good to a tape too.

Summary. If all - you are going to watch, better to find by HD the copy with a good sound. Alas, the majority of similar attractions sharply lose the attractiveness in a house situation. Dialogues can be rewound or included on an uskorenka - so more funny, especially in combination with serious mines of all attendees.

P. S. I after viewing am tormented by only one question: what the hell the character Voslu, Zartan, wetted in the desert of the cameleer? Ah yes, forgive, same a catch for the sequel!