How to help to get rid of dependence?Modern life is overflowed with temptations of an easy discharge of feelings and emotions.
It is possible not to learn to get used to norms, laws of society, and to plunge into safer world of computer games, not to build the relation with the real person, and to communicate in a chat, not to speak about the emotional experiences, not to resolve the current painful problems, and to get drunk or accept any other substance changing consciousness. But comes tomorrow and it becomes easier not.
And cannot become as it is a good and safe way to deceive itself. It is pleasant to whom to admit to themselves that it is necessary to take some steps, to make actions which are not popular in a circle of contacts, and, above all - to be responsible completely for the made decisions, acts and their consequences, the health, education, the work choice, quality of the relations with parents, friends, darling. Everything together it is called “ to be responsible for the life “. It is especially difficult to answer at total absence of skills of responsibility.
Parents out of fear for the child and desires to protect it from troubles, of misfortunes and difficulties with pleasure shoulder everything, without noticing that the child reached for a long time age when it is time to try the forces. Of course, there is no clear age bracket for transfer of responsibility to the child. This process gradual, it is dragged out in time. Charging performance of various affairs to the child, the parent not “ dumps “ on it the duties, and teaches it to cope with difficulties, to solve household and social problems, to ask for the help, when necessary, to estimate the forces, to time, loading, to build system of priorities and still to many other.
The child, overcoming uncertainty in the forces, confusion, fear something to ask or insufficiently well to execute an assignment, gains experience of the social relations, responsibility, is proud, satisfaction, pleasure and self-confidence. Thus, there is its adaptation to public norms, requirements and laws. In further life these skills will help it to cope with difficulties and problems of daily occurrence, without resorting to harmful ways of removal of horror before the risen problem, will save it from neurotic frustration and destruction of the relations. Important the fact that it will have all bases to respect themselves, so to agree to the best conditions for themselves, to choose all worthy themselves, to remember the requirements and desires. “ To the Normal egoist “ there is no need to humiliate other people to ego-trip, offend and suppress them. Respecting itself, the person respects people around. Level of comfort of his life increases. With such person and another it is good.
When dependence on alcohol, drugs, drugs, games, the computer, food became already come true fact, the professional help is necessary. But often before happens far as it is possible to tell about the help when the patient realizes a problem. Yes, yes, I was not mistaken, sick. As dependence is an illness which it is necessary to treat. The illness is chronic, and as any chronic disease can recrudesce after even if long remission.
What to do if the patient does not realize dependence as a problem or does not consider the state as dependence?
Here - that “ first violins “ parents, wives (or husbands), children, close friends and others significant in life dependent people act. Will depend on their behavior whether it will want the patient to be treated. The main component in conversations with the alcoholic, the addict or the player is the love. Lyubov recognizing a human right to choose the way even if it leads to destruction or death. It is important where you what your place in these relations.
“ If you chose a way to death, I will not participate in your suicide, and it means that from this point I do not provide your life, I do not feed, I do not give money, I do not let in the house (or still something - everyone solves itself). If you want to recover, I am with you on all this a difficult way and I will give you support and assistance. It is painful to me to watch how you ruin yourself because I love you and for this reason I will not recede from what told “.
It is the fundamental law of motivation to treatment of the dependent person.
The more the person in life lost, the easier he agrees to treatment, the closer to a way of recovery though it and seems paradoxical. In language of the psychologists who are engaged in therapy of dependences, such behavior is called “ rigid love “.
The help is necessary to relatives and relatives not less, than to dependent. Dependence - a family illness and all family members need to be treated. Only then mutual understanding, conversation in one language is possible. Only when all family members are engaged in the life, live the, but not others life, perhaps mutual respect, understanding, acceptance of each other, tranquility and resistant positions on the way of recovery.
Author: Ilyina Natalya Viktorovna.