Whether it is necessary to be jealous?Jealousy - one of the strongest human emotions, comparable both with love, and with hatred. And, as well as all other emotions, it is peculiar only to the person. Animals have no jealousy and cannot be, they are independent from each other, they do not belong each other.
And person? The person the difficult mechanism constructed of feelings, emotions, requirements to itself and to people around. These are engines of various vital manifestations. The person the live organism which is exposed to daily stress. And one of these stresses - jealousy.
Because of jealousy it is possible to make acts for which it is possible to regret all life. It can be shown by very wide scale of feelings - from an easy ironical bantering before fits of anger, an aversion, hatred up to cruel spiteful revenge and murder of the suspect of change or its real activator of the lover, the mistress, etc. And not always the jealousy is followed by presence of high feelings. There is a sobstvennichestvo, fear to lose what you consider personal. Such dog in the manger.
Yes, and can reach it.
But it is frequent, jealousy a good component in the relations. It as a way to bring closer to itself the person. Yes, we do not suspect and we do not give the report in what we do with the person, causing this emotion. Indeed, the jealousy is an emotion. There is no other explanation for it. What aims are pursued at the same time by the one who causes such emotion? It is simple to tease the person, to get to fall in love or he feels huge pleasure from the fact that he is jealous of each column? At everyone the also uses it everyone on the.
But as it is sometimes heavy to cause this state. You act for the good that your partner was jealous you of others and by that to reallot his attention to himself. It sometimes can be difficult, as well as to cope with jealousy.
What to do if it is necessary? How to control it and not to allow to get out in rage and anger? we Will begin
with simple. I do not think that it is interesting to you that your partner was jealous you of each column. It is not that jealousy which is necessary to you. You need love jealousy.
So. One of tools how to cause this feeling is to be independent. Yes, it is banal. But how independent to be correct? One my acquaintance asked me: “ He is jealous me of each man, of each woman, of any person. He constantly calls and asks where I with whom I? “ Here to you answer to this question. The person is jealous of specific other person whose he to that knows, sees, goes with him. It is dangerous and unpredictable. It is much more correct to be jealous of an image, of the invisible person, it is possible even to tell to nonexistent i.e. thought up in consciousness. The jealousy awakens the following human quality - interest. Who is it? What is he engaged in? What is the time they together? What they do etc. So far the person does not learn who it where he lives, sometimes even not to get acquainted, all his energy is directed to satisfaction of this interest. And if you thought up this person, this object of jealousy. That and a consequence can be softer as it does not exist. And the desire to learn about it more, eventually, will only increase. But you will be able to control it.
One idle time is ringing, or visibility of this call, at a meeting, in the house, small flirtation, easy snickers in a tube, and cheerful mood - already cause this feeling. It is easy, so far just arisen, but already existing. And after a call if you, of course want to control it, better to say a pier: - “ Yes so, the employee from work “. To give food for this interest, to satisfy it. But if you, want that interest remained hungry, do not do it. It is possible to repeat it several times, explaining that this girlfriend or the friend. You cause interest, and right there you feed it. It will look more softly.
One more way, is most or most to call the fictional character. To agree with someone from the acquaintances, and play this game. But the most important to give though some food for interest about the one who it. But, without telling the concrete names where lives and as long you communicate. You began to cause this feeling. Also support him, feeding this emotion.
One of important points is freedom. If you have free relations, and you agreed about them, then he or she will not know what does another. And by that the jealousy itself will come slowly. But it will be groundless, imaginary, imperceptible. Freedom is received by everyone, but, nevertheless, attachment exists, and this feeling gradually itself will have an effect. It is again tool to cause jealousy. It is simple to agree about the free relations. The small, imperceptible feature, and too works.
One my acquaintance told me one more example from life, more precisely from life of her girlfriends.
Somehow they talked on sexual subjects, and came to the following conclusion. The thing very interesting and quickly works. Well, we will begin one after another.
Her girlfriends have constant partners, already very long time live together or is married. So happens to the woman when she already caught the man necessary to it? Yes … Yes … Yes …. I think girls guessed: not always the shaven legs, dirty hair which grew roots you do not sit for 2 hours near a mirror any more and do not direct a make-up to make impression on it. And to what it leads? As soon as at the woman the desire to be sexually attractive to other men vanishes, she dresses a dressing gown, slippers and in general loses all the sexual attractiveness. The man, in turn, leaves behind feeling of uncertainty. You are already it, in his house, in its pastel, in its kitchen. He ceases to try to obtain you, HE you already received, and as a result, decreases attention, he already makes to you gifts only on a birthday, on March 8 and in honor of your anniversary if you sit down one week prior to your anniversary, to it on ears.
And now it is smoothly passed to jealousy.
As it can be used: it is possible to do even without phone calls. Just begin to spend more time at a mirror when you gather for work or you can set a heap of questions to the elect where - or gathering: “ Whether Enough you look good? “. Put on the most sexy underwear, gathering for a meeting with girlfriends. Buy very short skirt, put on stockings or think up something else. The effect is enormous.
By the way to steam of reflections concerning a skirt.
Often men ask a question: - “ And you wear skirts???? “ “ Why you did not put on a skirt??? “ etc.
Ya naturally became interested in this question and set it many acquaintance: “ Why men so like skirts??? “ generally the answer was amazingly simple: - “ If on the woman the skirt is put on, then I can seize it at any time, this thought brings me “. But we receded from a subject.
The man has an interest and respectively questions where it gathers with whom she spends time and why, oh, damn, she put on the magnificent underwear. For whom? And in reply receives that it goes with girlfriends to the bar, either at cinema, or on a corporate party or club. Or just to take a walk in park with a dog of the girlfriend. Yes anywhere. The main thing it began to look not as at home, and as on a competition Miss Universe. Yes, the man receives answers to the questions, but they do not satisfy his curiosity. It seems the food is, but it is all the same hungry.
I rather seldom am jealous. But one true-life story was remembered. It was long ago, let8 back. I met one girl. We were free, and did that wanted. Together we had only a sex. It suited both. And so, several times I sat down on this feeling. After sexual games at her place, it began to gather somewhere. Descends in a shower, begins to smarten up, on half of hour sits near a mirror and at what the underwear which I never on it saw a hairdress, a skirt which she at our meetings never put on puts on rather dissolutely. And on the questions I received the answer that it goes to the friend, to the neighbor in the house, it has a party and she is obliged to be there as they already know each other since the childhood. I for 100% am sure that between them nothing was, but the fact that I it do not know that she puts on to it better, than to me and looks better, than with me, in any case tries to look so, just enraged me, tore apart on part. I could not receive detailed answers, be present at these parties. And itself sat down on this chertova jealousy, and it conducted me as kitten.
Will very qualitatively arrange the person or in general this feeling will kill if you tell it the following irrespective of how many you meet or you live together:
- I am a woman (or the man), I need attention from outside, I receive it, it is pleasant to me. But others cannot give me what you give me. I talk and I communicate only to amuse myself. It no more than game. You give me much more, than combined can give me others. I yours (or yours), you the best, you am necessary to me. You should understand only me that I sometimes need attention from outside, but it is not serious, but you cannot be replaced whom another, you are unique and therefore I with you.
It most likely will kill this feeling, this emotion, and the jealousy can recede.
Or still an example from life, about a touch the girl and her neighbor. The sense here in what - to answer with jealousy jealousy. One more weapon from an arsenal. Works with good efficiency. So. Once again, when it gathered for the scheduled party, I began to ring out the friends, with the purpose to go where - nibud to look to itself adventures. “ Like, let`s descend on a disco, we ottusutsya, we will pick up somebody “. Called familiar girls and began to offer most too. With a dead-pan and a normal voice. She began to look at me as on the enemy of the people. Began to ask questions to whom I called that for girls etc. of T are familiar. e. I caused in it a state too, I answered its attack, counterattack. I.e. we began to be jealous each other. And it worked. She ceased to speak about the neighbor and at me to put on on his parties. Against scrap there is no reception if there is no other scrap. In this case it perfectly works.
And requirements here simple:
1. To tell it with a dead-pan
2. To do the same that is done by her or him, i.e. to put on together
3. It is avaricious to answer the questions
4. Not to ask the questions
5. Not to arrange hysterics (for girls especially actually) to
But what to do if it already developed into anger and maniacal depressiveness. It is more difficult. And here a task - to turn everything. To let know that only it (or it) are guilty of everything.
How? Approximately here so:
- And that you wanted, you do not give me that it is necessary for me. You do not find for me time, so much, how many for me it is necessary from you. You always somewhere vanish, and then come and demand what is necessary for you. But you never asked that it is necessary for me. You disgustingly behave in relation to me, you do not notice me, do not pay attention, you satisfy only yourself, own requirements. And in exchange you give nothing to me, and are not going to give. It you are guilty of everything. How you allowed it? Why you did not see it earlier? I so wait for it from you, and you cannot give me it. Also you make scandals. You need to change, change the behavior and the attitude towards me.
Here you overturn and direct all anger and all jealousy, in certain that in it (or it). You let know that not you are guilty of everything but only it. And his jealousy is groundless. Works both at men, and at women.
The most global council.
Of course, it is heavy to this advice to follow sometimes, but it is necessary to overcome itself: Remember
what you do when you are jealous, your actions and acts what occurs inside? Remembered? And so. Do with an accuracy yes on the contrary, to what was done earlier when were jealous. Push this feeling far, deeply and do not show it. It to be pleasant to the person when he begins to be jealous, it amuses it, amuses his pride and vanity. He feels over the one who is jealous, a certain power, and everything that this emotion was long does. So we are arranged. As soon as you cease to splash out it outside, you will see results. Do not ask different silly questions on which you receive poor answers and by that will only warm your appetite. Do not write the SMS with questions, do not torment the phone, do not arise where - nibud to go with it or with it, you are refused only, or at all receive nothing. And you will cease to give this power, or gradually it will begin to decrease. And, nevertheless, jokes with it are bad. Be attentive, be not overzealous. Each person has the side between love and hatred. You should not pass through it.