How to define how darling - darling?As we understand that it is love, but not cheap stuff? As we define a power of love that helps us to answer the questions “ I Love or not? I love or it is only pleasant? As far as I love? “ How many people - are so much also answers. At everyone the language of love: language of attentiveness or language of gifts, language of time presented only to you - or help language, language of greedy sex, gentle contacts, language of delighted words and language of obedience. If you with darling speak different languages of love, then the strongest love can seem any, between you - misunderstanding...
At everyone the signs of love - those markers and indicators which signal the person about what he - loves. Someone speaks about a power of love just on set of signs, however signs of love tell not about a power of love any more, and about its volume and borders. Here it is - here is not present. Here was - here came to an end.
On questions of a power of love of the woman look for the answer in heart and feelings more often: heart trembles, near it I lose will - darling. Men (if they not only boys, but men) answer these questions with decisions and affairs more often. Chose, was defined, made the proposal, pledged the word - I keep the word and I am proud of what I love.
For someone everything is simple: either I love, or I do not love, the third is not given. People with thinner sincere organization know both shades, and power of feeling, can notice the sincere cooling, and someone - and to sustain internal combustion.
For what the love is equal to love measure a power of love by physical thirst for darling and add wild behavior: takes down brains - means, the love is strong. The power of love - passions is estimated by readiness to make for the sake of darling of recklessness, to throw everything that was expensive earlier to legs of darling. Apart from to spend money. And here if the mind remains (or it is restored) - love not in force.
People of perezhivatelny type measure a power of love by time and depth of suffering at loss of darling. The widow cries - means, loved. For many “ I Love or not “ is defined just by that, how painfully to lose this person.
If it is not sick - not darling if it is sick - darling. Awfully painfully - very favourite …
If to speak more precisely, then it is not quite love. To - the love, is need, it is attachment. As Vladimir Levi wisely wrote: “ The love is measured by a forgiveness measure, attachment - farewell pain... “
With growth of the personality criterion “ I Love or not “ becomes another. “ Beloved “ begins to mean: I to you am attentive, I talk to you, you are dear to me, for the sake of you it is not difficult to me to concede, I am ready to forgive you the fact that I do not forgive others, I care for you with pleasure. But at the same time, if that happens to you if you leave, I can not torment myself … If the love was not mutual, then there is no sense and if you loved me, then you always wished me only good luck, and what is expensive to you is expensive to me.
And here other person: he on you will spit, will swear, shout at you, you for him are guilty of everything. But if leaves you - will suffer - to suffer, it will be shot - to it awfully painfully.
Question: what person is necessary to you? Which does nothing but only rows and later suffers sense of guilt; or who cares also light-loves? If you want that he also suffered when you are absent nearby then a question: what for?
For adults love - all this is care and attention when you together, but not tortures after parting. People of active type measure a power of love by readiness to win, give gifts and to care carefully: to rejoice opportunities to take care of darling.
The wife cares - means, loves. At night on asphalt the inscription appeared: “ Good morning, darling! “ - someone did not sleep at night to remove each letter to present to darling pleasure.
The love is measured not by sufferings and fear, but pleasure and affairs. The care and attention, thirst for the person and pleasure to be together, the desire to give and responsibility in obligations is the main axis which will measure a power of love.
of What costs love: the place of darling (darling) on a scale of values
“ I love you! “ - what is cost by these words? “ I love you, expensive, but today soccer, and soccer is more expensive me than you! “ “ I love you, darling, but my child does not want that we met, and I write you these the farewell letter... “
However, having even decided on an axis, we did not answer a question - and where my or your love settles down on this axis? Each of us has the hierarchy of vital values, and each love takes the place in this hierarchy. It is interesting to any girl what place is taken by her in heart of the young man: if above beer, but mothers - offensively are lower. If is the highest than other women, but after business - it is normal. Yes? Is not present?
To ask questions about it - it is normal. First of all, it is important to ask these questions to itself: how this person how he is dear in a literal sense is dear to me? How many I am ready (is ready) to pay for an opportunity to be with it, for the right to be his darling (darling), for that it was happy?
As the question in life is raised of it, M. M. Zhvanetsky noticed: “ Gave a ride by a taxi - it is love. And went by tram - no, it is not love, this hobby “.
But conversation on value, on readiness to pay - it conversation everything is not about money, it is conversation on your hierarchy of values. That this conversation was more concrete, draw a vertical scale where place the following vital values : ideas and the principles, business of the life, favourite work, the country, the house, the family, children, further independently write separately three most expensive things from your property and the size of the capital. After that answer where the place of darling among these values above what and below what he settles down.
In the beginning answer with questions more simply: whether you are ready to lose any of things expensive to that darling was with you? Whether are ready to pay all these things for an opportunity to live with darling?
It is not theoretical, but very practical questions: when and if darling breaks your favourite vase or the car, remember the today`s decision. Your broken Mercedes - a natural payment for your right to kiss the beloved.
Now on money : present, you liked the girl, you began to look after her, but suddenly it becomes clear that it is pleasant not only to you, and to you suggest not to meet this girl more. You are not threatened, offer you the sum. Hundred thousand dollars - you are an interesting young man, you will surely meet still the girl, it will not be worse. And for promotion of your business money is necessary to you, huh? Is not present? And if one million dollars - such real cases happened? You will reflect?
It is very useful to designate to itself such sum: undressed her on 10, call “ annual contribution “ also remember. If later you establish a family with this girl, then so far her expenditure (or your expenditure for it) keep within an annual contribution, rejoice and enjoy. And in ten years of happiness you just learn to live together and all excess questions will disappear.
Whether you for the sake of darling are ready to give up the work, to leave the city in anywhere, to be left without habitual friends or to leave parents?
Probably, for the sake of the casual person you will not do it. And it is correct.
Whether it is possible to put darling above the ideals and the principles? If you have no ideals and the principles, then it is possible quite. If you chose the person who looks at life as well as you, then this question before you just will not rise.