Rus Articles Journal

Why women meet unloved?

Are considered to be that if the man and the woman live together or meet, then they love each other, or, at least, have feeling of mutual sympathy. However it is quite often possible to hear as women complain of the partners and of own bitter fate - it seems, and I do not love, but for some reason I continue the relations, suffering from a dissatisfaction and not trying to change a situation.

So why women meet those who are not lovely to them?

Reason the first: I am afraid to remain alone

the Fear to remain one usually originates in the early childhood - perhaps, there was a situation when the girl felt as the abandoned mother, or, what is even worse, the father. For example, parents divorced, and the father, leaving a family, did not guess even to say goodbye to the daughter. In this case the girl will be subconsciously afraid that she will be abandoned again, and, as a result, in the future will become to cling for any counter man.

If, besides, its self-assessment is underestimated (and it often happens at people who in the childhood were disregarded), then does not even come to such woman to mind that it is actually worthy bigger. Instead of mentally preparing for a meeting of true love, it gives the heart to the first who paid attention to it.

If you understand that you do not love your partner and try to avoid loneliness, suffering from its party what is not pleasant to you, then instead of being afraid, better to throw down to life a challenge.

Think over where and as you will live, work as you will be able to provide yourself - and safely you leave. And then immediately be engaged in own personal growth - increase of a self-assessment, self-esteem, development of the abilities. Perhaps, you want to get a new education or to be engaged in business, interesting to yourself? The main thing that you opened what you can be respected and loved for. Individual work with the psychologist or group psychotherapy, for example, participation in training of personal growth can give good help.

Reason the second: it is pleasant to my friends and parents

Often we try to make our relatives happy, and we forget at the same time about ourselves. If you got used to do since the childhood only what is pleasant to other people to win their love, then probability that you will be happy is insignificant is small. And especially it is important, so far as concerns your intimate relations.

You remember: you choose the partner for yourself, and you will live with him, but not your mother or the girlfriend. If you are afraid to make something like that that will not be approved by people around, then ask yourself a question: what can the most terrible occur if you arrive counter to their desires? The relations with them will deteriorate? Means, these people do not love you really, if they really appreciate you, then respect also your choice irrespective of, they like your partner or not.

And it is up to the end simply impossible to meet foreign desires - is it worth trying? Whether it is better to leave modest and decent young man which so is pleasant to your parents, but for some reason absolutely became loathsome to you and to plunge into the romantic and rough relations with the one whom you really love or fall in love soon?

Reason the third: I depend on it

Dependence in any its manifestation - business, financial, housing, sexual etc. is a root of all human misfortunes. There is no situation worse, than to allow the unloved man to pay for you, and then to dispose of your life and freedom. Of course, if you consciously go on such relations, then and there are no problems - everyone chooses as to it to live. But if you are tormented that you got to the dependent relations and cannot stop them, then a situation serious.

First of all, quietly look in a face to the truth: in what you depend on your partner? Take a sheet of paper and describe it, without forgetting about one point. And then write what from the listed points you can achieve, without resorting to the help of the partner. Let`s take, for example, money - what source of the income you can find for yourself? It can be both additional work, and letting of the apartment, and rendering various services (many of us have talents and abilities which others do not have, and we can suggest people to teach them to something interesting).

If you depend on the partner in questions of work, for example, he is your chief, then here it is necessary to differentiate the business and personal relations accurately. Most often it is necessary to offer something - but who told that, losing something, we do not receive in exchange more and better?

Reason the fourth: I do it to salt to the one whom I love

Revenge - rather widespread motive for setting of the relations. But even if your darling offended you, think - unless costs to punish him, to set up himself, own life and freedom? Perhaps, he wants to ask for you forgiveness for a long time and to restore the world, and you hold near yourself the person with whom nothing connects you. Best of all in such situation to refuse for a while all relations and to stay in a privacy, having devoted itself to spiritual development and care of itself.

Time heals all - and the love will blossom with a new force, with the former partner or with new, but it will be Lyubov, but not demonstration performances to it to spite .

Reason the fifth: it is necessary to meet someone - on lonely look sideways

of Nothing similar! Presently the lonely and self-sufficient woman causes only respect. Means, she is able to love and appreciate herself, quietly is waiting in the wings, but arms does not fall the first man.

Therefore straighten shoulders, it is proud throw up the head, smile and tell yourself: I love you! . You - the best friend and the adviser, be not afraid to trust the internal wisdom, and you will understand - loneliness can be fine too.