How it is correct to pay a compliment?One of ways to gain the interlocutor are to tell it a good compliment.
Women can do compliments because they are pleasant to them, but actually to listen to compliments (not to confuse to flattery!) all love, just reaction of men is not so noticeable. This results from the fact that the compliment satisfies the most important psychological need of the person - need for positive emotions. The interlocutor satisfying this requirement becomes the desired interlocutor. It is, of course, about the real compliments, but not about parodies to them at all.
What is a compliment? To understand it, we will be helped, first of all, by exact definition of this concept.
the Compliment - is called small exaggeration of advantage which the interlocutor wishes to see in himself.
The compliment differs from flattery in the fact that small exaggeration is given. Compare: “ To You very much there is this aroma / color / style “ (necessary to emphasize) is a compliment, and “ You the most beautiful “ - it is flattery. It frequent more roughly also has more chances to be rejected from - for improbabilities. Though there are people to whom and flattery to liking. But nevertheless, the flattery pushes away many. Therefore, especially in business communication, a clear advantage behind a compliment as the tool thinner and effective.
Those who say that he does not love compliments most often have to a look not compliments, and to parodies to them, to flattery. It is known that bad execution it is possible to spoil the best idea. Further I will list several rules which will provide success of a compliment.
The most effective compliment
the Most effective compliment is a compliment against an anti-compliment to itself when, ennobling another, we in addition pay attention to the failure. For example: one head of department speaks to another: “ How you manage to speak with the chief? I yesterday hour finished it and all for nothing, and you in five minutes resolved the same issue “. A good compliment to the colleague against an anti-compliment to.
That is use of the facts known to both partners. But lack of the actual basis does a compliment unconvincing therefore if there are doubts whether the interlocutor, about what fact will understand the speech, then it is better not to risk and before to remind of it, and then to beat it. Worst of all, if the compliment contradicts the facts. For example, the employee did not sleep night, suffering from a toothache, and she will be told that it perfectly looks.
An opportunity to conjecture
Compliments which awake imagination of the one to whom they are intended, and giving it the chance mentally to continue them. For example, compliment to the child: “ What beautiful child! “ it and compliment to parents. We praise the child, and parents conjecture a praise as a compliment to themselves.
Brevity - the sister of talent
the Compliment has to be shorter. To be simple and clear, should not contain lectures it seems: “ You are a good guy, but progress should be tightened “. It is desirable not to use the ambiguous turns able to cause at all not those feelings on which you count. For example, the smile doing a compliment can give to words the return sense which is perceived already as a sneer.
it is possible to Pay rather good compliment having shown empathy, that is it is necessary to understand at first that it will be pleasant to interlocutor to hear. Additional information will be given by communication with this person. What more personified a compliment, that it is more valuable because considers priorities of this person more stoutly.
And as often as possible you pay compliments. To everyone, who though in some degree it is worthy the kind word. It is very useful to set to himself the task: day without compliment! Find that personally it is pleasant to you in the interlocutor that you would like to borrow from him. Also tell about it directly. If the compliment to liking to the interlocutor, his face lights up with a smile, and the good mood together with a smile is transferred to the interlocutor. And you will also involuntarily smile and will feel, as your mood improved. So advantage of compliments all. It is necessary only to wish you success in this good cause!