How to live with children? Part 2As these provisions are false, the psychology does not work. If you sometime met the broken person, then it was the child of the professional psychologist. If only we attentively look at the world around us, but not at someone`s compositions invented after reading of someone`s else works, we will see an inaccuracy of these provisions.
The reality is directly opposite to what it is told in these statements about.
The truth consists in the following:
The person at the heart of the good. Only the serious aberration * can make by
the person vicious.
Cruel training does the person incapable to get on with other people.
To remain sincerely healthy, the person has to keep ability to adapt an environment for himself.
The person is so sincerely healthy and protected from danger as far as he possesses self-determination.
Bringing up the child, you are obliged to avoid that by means of “ trainings “ to turn it into a social animal.
Initially the child is more sociable and noble, than you. How adults treat it, the child quickly enough begins to revolt. This revolt can reach that the child will become intolerable for all. It will be noisy, reckless, negligent with things, slovenly - the word, any if only to annoy you. Train him, operate him - and you will lose his love. If you seek to operate the child if you seek to be his owner, then you lost him forever.
Allow the child to sit at you on a lap. He will sit, happy with it. And now clasp it, force to sit in place even if he also does not try to leave. It instantly will begin to be turned out. He will begin to fight, trying to get off you. He will become angry. He will begin to cry. Now remember: before you tried to hold it, it had a good mood.
Your attempts to build up its character, to train it and in general cause to operate it at the child just the same reaction, as well as attempts to hold it on a lap.
Of course, to you it is necessary difficult if your child was already trained if already operated him, mistreated and did not allow to possess own things. Halfway you change tactics: you try to give it freedom. The child will treat so suspiciously you that it is necessary to him very difficult until he gets used to it. The transition period will be awful. But eventually you will have an organized, disciplined, sociable child caring for you and that it is very important for you - the child who loves you.
The child who is limited, whom constantly watch who is urged on and control, it will be very strongly concerned. Parents are necessary for it to survive: parents are a food, clothes, a roof over the head, caress. Means, he wants to be near them. Naturally, being their child, he wants to love them.
But, on the other hand, parents interfere with its survival. All its existence and life depend on whether he has the right to make own decisions concerning the movements, property and a body. Parents try to violate this right, proceeding from wrong idea of the child as about the idiot who will learn nothing if it not “ to control “. Therefore it should avoid the enemy, to be at war with it, to irritate and exhaust it.
The child worries. He argues as follows: “ I hotly love them. And I need them. But they do not allow me to develop the abilities, do not allow me to think freely, do not allow to use the potential opportunities in life. What to do to me with parents? I cannot live with them. I cannot live without them. Holy Christ! “ So he also sits, thinking of this problem. This problem, this concern will pursue it within about 18 years, it is slightly more or slightly less. And it will almost destroy his life.
Freedom of the child is your freedom. If you leave the child`s things to the mercy of fate, eventually it will lead to the fact that they will remain are whole.
How terrible will power is required to parents not to pour out on the child a continuous flow of instructions! What this suffering. to observe how its things are destroyed! As there is no wish to refuse to itself the right to dispose of its time and space!
But so it is necessary to arrive if you want that the child felt well, he was happy, careful, beautiful and clever!
Article is published by Applied Formation of the CIS **
(C) 2010 All rights reserved. The sincere gratitude of L. Ron Hubbard Library is expressed (to Library L. Ron Hubbard) for kind permission to reproduce fragments from the protected law on copyright of works of L. Ron Hubbard. It is published in Russia.
* aberration: the deviation from what is correct normal etc.
** Applied Education (Applied Scholastics) is the international noncommercial association which was founded in 1972 by group of teachers, and uses in the activity of work of the famous educator L. Ron Hubbard in the field of education and education of children.
Applied Education gives lectures, seminars for parents and teachers, publishes materials concerning education and training, will organize training of specialists in a scope of the technology of training developed by L. Ron Hubbard. It is more than information: www. apscis. ru.