What does the love to itself give us?Love to other person begin with love to itself. However, familiar statement? Many of us even agree with it whether but many really love themselves, but do not consider this feeling as egoism manifestation?
The person who does not accept any part of - whether it be the body, a face, the mind or some traits of character, most often behaves uncertainly. Think for whom people in the company or in working collective - reach for those who are happy, quiet, distinctly speak and in general keep openly, kindly. Most likely, such person loves himself. To love itself(himself) does not mean to close eyes to the shortcomings - all have them and everyone, however the love to itself means belief of the person that he can cope with the problems because he beautiful, strong and clever - the owner of the life, but not a chip in ocean waves.
As well as all psychological features, “ dislike for “ it is from the childhood. Dislike can develop from - for what mother of the tiny child a little him kisses, praises, admires him - legs, handles, a nose, ears, and the kid acquires all this, such information registers in subconsciousness and remains there for the rest of life! Often some stout women hesitate of the body, hesitate to undress on the beach, feel is held down and it is uncomfortable when surrounding people look at them. However there are fatties at whom even in thoughts does not arise to limit the life from - for the fact that now it is fashionable to resemble on models from glossy magazines and such women surely put on bikini, have fun and dance in discos, they are sociable, vigorous, they are loved also by houses and at work. And all this because one love themselves, and others - are not present. It concerns not only women, but also men.
Following stage of formation positive “ I - an image “ there is time when the child begins to learn actively the world - to draw on wall-paper, to pull out contents of boxes of cases, everything is interesting to it, he wants to try to make everything. If parents admire drawing on a wall, speak “ What you are talented! It is just a masterpiece! “ or praise the kid - as it is good he “ washed “ or “ cleaned “ the apartment, the child will grow confident in the forces, that he dexterous and skillful and that to it any business on a shoulder. To love to the body the love to work and to creativity will increase! It is a big reserve for future life!
Often people who act in own interests are called egoists. However the egoist to the egoist discord, a difference between the Reasonable and Spiteful egoist is also visible to all people around. The reasonable egoist - the person who loves himself and who is loved by other people and the Spiteful egoist exploits surrounding people only, he has no feeling of compassion, pity, it has no true friends, and envy - the faithful companion of these people.
We will remember an episode from the book loved by all A. Lindgren “ Kid and Carlson “ from two candies the Kid suggests Carlson to take an entertainment to the first. Carlson is enough big, and the Kid speaks to him: “ You spoke, the one who takes the first has to take the smallest! “. “ You on my place would take small? “ - Carlson asks. “ Of course! “ - it is proud the Kid answers. “ Well, be not upset, you also got it “ - happy Carlson says. Precisely that Carlson loved himself, his behavior raises at us a smile, however this “ the man well-fad moderately in the blossoming of forces “ does not cause in us disgust, we do not test to it rage or rejection. If the Kid was hungry, and full Carlson took away the one and only cake and would eat it, we would be indignant, and correctly would make because only Spiteful egoists act this way. The reasonable egoist is always ready to cooperation if it is necessary, he makes a compromise.
What to do to those people who feel uncertainly? We are not free to choose the childhood, we love the parents even if they and not absolutely correctly brought up us … To change habitual behavior quite difficult, but it is possible!
Social psychologists noticed long ago that change of internal installations (beliefs) of the person leads to change of his behavior, and also also the return point is made - changing the behavior, we will - bondage change the internal installations. Difficult? Let`s look on an example - as the girl who hesitates of the appearance behaves, i.e. considers himself insufficiently beautiful. She behaves very uncertainly - quite often such girls will stoop, do not look in the face to speaking, avoid contacts with people around, hide for backs of girlfriends, poses and gestures are closed, held down, from their lips it is often possible to hear the words “ I do not know “ “ I do not want “. There is a lot of signs of uncertain behavior, and people, communicating with such girl, at the subconscious level feel her uncertainty. Such behavior is characteristic not only of girls, but also of young men, and of adults. All diffident people behave equally.
How it is possible to change itself? It is possible to go from two parties - or “ to work “ over love to itself, than more people are convinced that it beautiful, clever and other, especially surely he begins to behave - i.e., at first it changes installations (did not love himself, and then fell in love), which lead to change of behavior. The second way - at first to change behavior, i.e., to imitate confident people, to adopt their contours of movements, gestures, words, to train in front of the mirror or in training group under the leadership of the psychologist - the trainer that finally will lead to change of installations in the relation of the appearance, mind or something else.
What is described above it is only the scheme but it working and many people who decided to change the not constructive behavior, “ lean “ on this enemy from all directions, and the victory over itself brings them a lot of things. To get a good job, to achieve higher salary, to find the worthy partner in life, to expand a circle of friends - all this can be reached, having become the self-assured person, having fallen in love with itself. Not without reason even among successful people trainings of personal growth, trainings of social abilities and effective communication enjoy wide popularity.
If you love yourself, then you study and act, the success in life will not keep itself waiting!
we Wait for your responses and questions!
Author: Anna Savelyeva