The analysis of the speech of the president at a youth forumto learn rhetoric, it is necessary to sort the main mistakes on someone`s examples. Let the president of Russia and his performance will be an example. Let`s do without long prefaces and at once we will examine the investigated speech of the head of state. This speech was delivered at the All-Russian youth Forum of winners “ Break “ On December 17, 2009 in Moscow, in sport center “ Olympic “. We quote across Kremlin. ru
Today there takes place the Forum of winners. All who are present at this hall all of you are winners. Winners not only in those nominations which appeared here, - winners in those questions, in those branches in which you are engaged, in those things which you do.
I am very glad that today such outstanding people stand on this stage. You know when speak about youth - the favourite phrase, especially adults, serious, sedate: “ You have still all ahead, you - our future “. I would like to tell that you have everything already now. You already take the most active part in development of our country, you already work for the benefit of our state. And it, probably, most important - that our state became more and more strong and powerful. And only young people can make it.
Here, in this hall, a huge number of young people, those who do the favorite things, professions what is pleasant to them in life: it and representatives of power professions, those who protect our country, and students, graduate students, workers, those who are engaged in innovations, businessmen, representatives of creative professions - all of you, representatives of our big and strong state. I am very glad that today in this hall, in such special atmosphere, there takes place the " award; Break “.
You know, we now really work hard in order that our state became another - became modern, became economically developed, and not only due to those natural riches which we have, not only at the expense of oil and gas though it is good that we have it. That we were strong not only rockets (though it is very good that we have them, they to us help to keep our power), but also at the expense of modern as it is accepted to speak, clever economy. And to this clever economy there has to correspond the state. The state has to change too - to change every day. The political system, economy, our democratic institutes change. And you have to impose these requirements: it has to change under your requirements.
And me it would be desirable once again from all who are present here, from those who supported the fellow countrymen so completely, from those who supported all winners, to congratulate winners on these fine prizes. I would like to tell that, despite end of Year of youth, that development which we gather now it is not connected with any year. We will be engaged in everything, than we are engaged, we will do our country strong, powerful, and your energy, energy of young people - those who sit in this hall, those who welcome winners today is for this purpose necessary.
I am sure that we will be able to achieve new victories.
I congratulate you and I wish you good luck.
*** Is pleasant
that it is possible to sort speeches of the president from positions of a rhetorical azbuchnost. We have an opportunity not to dig in details, not to cling to hardly noticeable roughnesses, and to speak very generalno. For the educational purposes by which we are guided in the analyses such state of affairs is ideal.
So, this speech has a serious defect in its thesis, in its main idea.
Thesis: “ We will do our country strong, powerful, and your energy, energy of young people " is for this purpose necessary;. The thesis is read at the end and coincides with a conclusion, it is quite possible way of its arrangement though it is better, all - to put it higher, and at the end to repeat in reconciliation. The thesis is quite confirmed. “ We will do our country strong and powerful “ - about it the paragraph beginning the words “ you know, we work hard " now;. “ For this purpose to us it is necessary “ - the fact that it is really necessary is confirmed in the last paragraph by words about incessant Year of youth. “ Your energy, energy of young people “ - about it the beginning of the speech where reveals what is energy of young people.
A problem not that the thesis is not confirmed, and that he on himself does not conform to requirements of rhetoric.
What is the public statement? It is attempt of a ritor to solve real difficulty, an audience problem; absolutely not always problem practical, but always problem. Ritor is obliged to formulate it, to open and propose the solution. A subject of performance of the speaker is the problem of his listeners, and a solution is the thesis of his speech.
The subject is obliged to be interesting, actual and problem (as the subject is and there is a problem), and the thesis is obliged to be new, disputable and feasible (as the thesis is a solution).
What subject of the considered speech of the president? What problem of audience this performance tries to solve? What solution is proposed? There is no answer.
“ We will do our country strong, powerful, and your energy, energy of young people " is for this purpose necessary;. Let`s say I am a young and vigorous winner “ Break “ I sit at a forum and I hear this thesis. On what my problem it is the answer what my difficulty it is the decision? Unless I did not know that the state has to want to do the country of more powerful? Or I did not guess at all what I - such talented, business and creative - can be useful to the state in principle?
I knew all this and so. What then the heard speech is necessary for me for?
The thesis of this performance is not a solution of the problem of audience. And therefore the speech subject has no relation how many times in it the word " would not repeat to audience; youth “. This speech is delivered not in audience, this speech does not need audience. And the audience, respectively, has no need in the similar speech.
It is most terrible mistake - to say by audience.
Remember and be careful.