What to tell and how to tellthe Author: Natalya Sikati - Zhuravleva
As you think what information proceeding from you is quicker recognized by other person? Probably, you will answer: “ Well, of course, verbal! What I will tell “.
Of course, most often understand a mutual exchange of words as communication and communication, at the time of communication the attention is concentrated on what is told by us and that is told us. However words occupy only 7% of the contents of what the person wants to transfer to other person. The main volume of information is transferred in the nonverbal (not verbal) way: tone and modulations of a voice, gestures, mimicry etc.) Why does that happen and as it is reflected in our interaction with representatives of a human resources department to employment attempt.
The first impression very strongly influences further relationship between people. This impression develops in the first 90 seconds of communication. It is impossible to make the first impression about the same person once again. Therefore it is extremely important that it was positive.
Even without being a psychologist that you will be able to tell about the person who, entering an office of the potential employer, shy knocks at the door, fingers finger-tips and in attempt to sit down on a chair edge, speaks in a low voice: “ Hello, I am that Molchanov “. Correctly, and you so consider that the person is diffident, probably coming already not for the first time to interviews and got used to refusals. As nonverbal communication more precisely and more sincerely than words, our many gestures and manners can expose internal uncertainty easily. Words it is possible to deceive because verbal means of communication are, as a rule, in the field of our consciousness while language of a body is a sign system unconscious. It is unlikely even the most famous experts will be able to claim that they can control this system of communication.
I suggest you to try to execute good exercise which will help you to understand a difference between what to tell and how to speak. Take any habitual offer: “ Good evening “ “ How are you? “ “ I am glad you to see! “ and for a start you will choose emotional coloring for the statement. You can tell it joyfully, ironically, roughly, carelessly, with captation etc. Be trained, using different states. Then suggest the friend to try “ to consider “ what message you send it. Having compared results, you will know a real situation. Reveal a difference meanwhile as you spoke, and what was heard by your friend. And now, think what needs to be changed in the behavior that your messages became more accurate.
Having well trained, you will understand, tone, a mimicry, gestures are how important. And through some time, you will be surprised with results.
Ability is competent to communicate makes a basis of many aspects of human activity.
Now your ability to communicate was enriched.
Remember that representatives of a human resources department of the enterprise or firm, the same people as everything and if you attentively treat nonverbal signs from their party in the course of communication, to you will be easier to come into contact with them.
Natalya Sikati - Zhuravleva, the practical psychologist