How to endure parting?How to endure parting?
Recently, I was the invited guest in the " program; Affairs everyday “. A program subject - “ How to endure parting “.
In transfer there was a lot of talk, about the one who transfers parting heavier - men or women how to tell the child that parents leave how to explain to the teenager that the first unsuccessful love is not the end of life … yet. Was that interesting much, but did not reach the most important. What to do to the person who endures this state already now. As in this, rather difficult period to behave what to do what not to do and whether it is possible to make so that everything passed easier. Here actually I also want to tell about it.
So some of very practical recommendations.
What to do - if you left - not important, you were an initiator or the initiative was on the other hand, I can assume that experiences all the same will be and it is necessary as that to learn to cope with them.
The very first phase after parting of close people - “ emotional “ withdrawal pains. During this period doubts, concerns and uncertainty in correctness of an act begin. You can feel guilty, it will be possible fear of pain or deception, fear of the new relations. This period lasts till 6 weeks if you do not tighten it, digging in the past and indulging in memoirs. What to do during this period? For a start accept the parting fact. Everything, this person is not in your life any more. Yes, it is sick, offensive or unpleasant. But further you live without it. And your task to wake in itself interest in life. Remember what you dreamed of what you wanted to make, but everything was not time what it is interesting to you what you most of all occupied during this period lives when your ex-partner was not yet? Think, and write down even better that you can make - to make for itself. In order that again will learn to see all beauty of life.
So, you accepted the parting fact.
The first stage - be uttered. Tell the girlfriend or the friend as to you it is bad and painful if to tell not whom tell yourself in front of the mirror or to an empty chair. To tell the main thing time 15 - 20 and emotionally, enduring every time at the story. The more you tell same the less experiences will remain. Only do not prolong this pleasure for month or years, give yourself term - for example - day I endure three, emotionally, and I pass to the second stage.
the Second stage is a forgiveness. Forgiveness of and the former partner. That the relations did not turn out or turned out not such as you wanted. What to do? To write letters of forgiveness, to listen to meditation of forgiveness of and other person. In our technique there is a forgiveness formula.
With love and gratitude I forgive (name) for all his (her) thoughts, words and acts in relation to me and I accept he (she) it (such) what he is. With love and gratitude, I apologize at (name) for all my thoughts of the word and acts in relation to she (he). With love and gratitude (name) forgives me.
Repeat this formula. Repeat it - many times. Until you feel that it became easier for you to breathe until you understand - all offenses remained in the past and you are ready to the new relations.
Whether it is possible to do without forgiveness? Offense sometimes so strong that it seems - it is impossible to forgive such person in any way. It is possible to manage, but I strongly am not sure that you will be happy in the following relations. And just living with such huge offense to enjoy life it is complicated. The best option - to forgive. To forgive, despite of everything. To forgive and not to poison itself with this offense. This stage - a forgiveness stage I would call the most important.
And while you forgive or you apologize or only you gather several absolutely concrete recommendations what to do:
1. You give yourself gifts, please yourself. Indulge yourself - let it will be pleasant trifles or just walk or the good book or the movie, the main thing that you give yourself that that very pleasant.
2. Get the diary - write there all sad thoughts which will come - write out all negative. You do not keep it in yourself. By means of the diary you will get rid of intensity and negative experiences.
3. Take care of the appearance - beauty shop, foamy bathtubs or something else - ways much - choose what is pleasant to you.
4. Work - during this period, than its is more, that remains to time for sufferings less. And you will make affairs and money you will earn.
5. Sport and trips - one more very good way to switch attention from problems to new feelings and impressions. Moreover - at sports activities as it is already proved, pleasure hormone is produced.
6. Communicate with friends - and there is one small condition - say about everything. Except private life and the former relations.
7. Be engaged in creativity - sing, draw, dance, spin a macrame or do dolls or burn out - do the main thing and derive pleasure from that. What you do.
8. Walk - parks, squares. Yes just a shop in the yard under a tree. Do not close yourself in the house, you leave, communicate with people even if they are not familiar to you and just conversation came. Be not closed in yourself.
9. Diet - traditionally at us it is accepted to jam stresses sweets and to wash down with alcohol - a problem it will not solve, and to an organism harm. Therefore during this period there are more fruit, vegetables, and here it is less meat.
the Depression badly lives meatless, sweet and alcohol. Therefore the best during this period - to give unloading to the organism. The double advantage turns out - and will not go to a depression and the organism will get healthier and will be young and beautiful.
Here, perhaps, and everything that I wanted to tell in this article.
you Remember only one - that all recommendations will help only if you DO. To do, despite of everything and contrary to everything - to forgive when there is no wish at all. To look after itself. To walk, create, communicate. To write the diary or your some options. Begin to DO, there will pass week, or 2 - 3 weeks you will see result - good mood, new opportunities, taste to life. Just begin to DO. For, for only and favourite. Without you. All your experiences both good and bad will become just not important and not necessary.
With love and respect, Sincerely Yours, Alyona Samoshina.