The role of the stepmother or stepfather ofIn repeated marriage your partner dreams first of all of you, it is equally important to you to find the loving and reliable person for itself and for the children. Perhaps, as you should communicate with children of your husband from first marriage. Even if they live not with you, and with the mother, they for certain come to you on a visit. Alas, not always these visits proceed “ in warm, friendly atmosphere “.
Reasons a little. If children are still small, they need in periodic “ odergivaniye “. In a family it is usually watched by mother, and the father just did not get used to pay attention to similar trifles. He took children to himself on a visit and now only be touched their playfulness. His new spouse gradually “ begins to boil “: children drag a dog for a tail, climb dirty hands in a jar of jam, and their father does not do them remarks! She does not want to interfere, but when nevertheless it is necessary - her spouse begins to intercede for children. Eventually her just decides to leave the house for this time from now on - let itself take care of the children!
More senior children introduce not less efforts in new families of the parents. They can ignore expressly and even to slight the new family member. “ In the diary it is written: the signature of parents - and you to me who?! “ “ You married my mother? Here also talk to it! And into my room you do not come “.
Children are jealous of you the native parent, and he, in turn, is afraid to lose their arrangement. So be indulgent and do not force an event. Never undertake establishing order until you achieved a consensus with your spouse concerning norms and methods of his maintenance.
Show more warmth and participations to each member of your new family. The general traditions - pledge of stable life. Begin, for example, with solemn weekly Sunday lunches. It is a rare opportunity to gather together and to relax. It is possible to invite to these lunches sometimes guests, relatives - let see how you live.
Of course, the child transferred the hardest spiritual wounds after divorce of native parents: two darlings to them the person left. He remembers only good the one who is not present nearby. Always it is exaggerated an assessment of the father who went to other family or mothers even if it was deprived of the parental rights for alcoholism or immoral behavior.
Having remained with one of parents, the child involuntarily demands from one everything that he received from two earlier. And lonely father or mother, deprived of matrimonial caress, painfully endure fault before the child, the parental feeling.
It ties the parent and the child to each other stronger, and the new person is met by the jealous attitude towards him. The daughter declares to mother: “ Other father is not necessary to us “. The son speaks, addressing the man who fell in love his mother: “ You are not necessary here, we without you well live. And the second father is not necessary to me, I have one “. This imperception the child of future stepfather or the stepmother is natural.
But experience shows that resistance it is strong at so-called difficult teenage age only at the beginning and most often - from 10 to 14 - 15 years. Therefore it is desirable to conclude second marriage when to the child of 5 - 6 years and he sharply worries that it has no father and looks for the father among the men surrounding it, mother`s acquaintances.
But it does not mean that it is not necessary to marry or marry if the good person met later. Let you be not frightened even by the furious resistance of the child to second marriage: it gradually dies away, inevitably there comes reconciliation, and then and appreciation to the new father or mother if they love the family and care for it. Also it is not necessary to be afraid of difficulties in education of children at repeated marriage. It is much easier to adjust the relations between the stepfather and the stepson, the stepmother and the stepdaughter, than to one to bring up them.
Externally consultation with the psychologist is similar to conversation of two people in a convenient chair, in a cozy office, but this conversation differs from conversation with the girlfriend or the friend. it is important to
to know that the psychotherapeutic relations between the client and the psychotherapist are based on trust and a consent. During the first diagnostic consultation the good psychologist informs the client on conditions of psychological consultation or psychotherapy. The psychotherapist and the client adopt the oral or written contract concerning time of meetings, payments, performance of homeworks. to
In the work the psychologist, and especially, the good psychologist, giving psychological assistance, adheres to the principles of professional ethics among which the first precept is “ do not do much harm “ and the second - nondisclosure of information obtained from the client. Preservation of confidentiality is the basic rule in work of the psychotherapist with the client. The psychologist has no right to discuss information obtained from the patient outside a therapeutic, advisory and educational context in which he is obliged to change a name, age, the place of residence, the place of work - all data which are able to afford to recognize this client to other people.
the good psychologist follows still many psychotherapeutic rules which do communication pleasant and deep so that for you finding of the solution of psychological problems is facilitated. The psychologist works at consultation therefore he has to give only professionally competent psychological assistance and realize limits of the competence.
Is the main signs which will help you with the choice of the good psychologist and passing of effective psychotherapy.