What principles of healthy love?There is a wish to acquaint you with some principles, following which it is possible to construct really harmonious relations and to avoid many mistakes.
Those relations which promise long duration, stability and, at the same time, bringing joy to both partners are considered perspective. Such relations are based on the principles of so-called healthy love.
The American psychologist Traci Cabot allocates 12 basic principles of healthy love - that which is capable to make the person happy, i.e. fills with life, but does not deprive of rest, a dream and forces:
1. When two persons enter the love relations, life of each of them has to improve. If life worsens or if you pull each other down, eventually, someone will see reason and will wish to leave.
2. It is impossible to buy love. If you do it, do not count that your expenses will pay off a hundredfold.
3. Avoid jealousy. Provoking jealousy, you play with fire. Someone will surely burn. People are already inclined to jealousy, happens that they lack self-confidence therefore it is not necessary to cause this feeling consciously.
4. At the healthy love relations both partners depend from each other to the same extent.
5. Truly loving person does not demand from the partner of proofs of reciprocal feeling. He proves it the love.
6. Be careful of desire to change the partner. If you turn the partner into other person, remember that, perhaps, this new person will not want to remain with you.
7. The person subject to a depression, it is difficult to love. The love has to make the person happy, but society of your elect does not guarantee you happiness yet. Only you are capable to make yourself happy or sad.
8. The woman wants to think that she is loved by the inaccessible prince, but not suffering loony. Men also do not love hysteric women and so-called time bombs from which it is unknown what to expect as she can explode at any time. Unpredictability of the partner loosens nerves and kills feelings just as full and absolute predictability bores.
9. Promptly flashed love quickly sputters out. To find happiness as a constant, someone from two has to love reasonably. If the partner is silent in response to your scandalous indignation, it does not mean that he is deaf, does not mean that he is weak, does not mean that it is indifferent. It means that it has hands in which he behaves.
10. If the partner acquired that it is possible to treat roughly you, it will be very difficult to convince him of the return.
11. If you doubt expediency of the act conceived by you, it is necessary to refrain from it. It is better to wait for the moment when the best decision comes to your mind. Abstain from actions which demand too big efforts or expenses and give your excessive interest. Both that, and another or is not appreciated, or after quickly depreciates, or at once frightens off.
12. As a rule, people feel most comfortably with the partners equal to them in a social status and the psychological antipodes which are at the same time. In other words, you will suit the person with your education level and a similar origin better. You remember: to marry the prince on white Mercedes, it is necessary most to be the princess in red Porsche - a cabriolet. Your vital values have to coincide. It means that if you have the higher education, you should look for the partner with the high school diploma. The psychological antipode will stabilize your state of mind. The extrovert needs the introvert, to the pessimist - the optimist. This rule also explains balance between the equal social level and general views uniting partners, on the one hand, and the psychological contrasts providing harmony and balance, with another.
Summarizing, the psychologist declares: “ If at stages of setting and creation of the relations you find out that one or several principles are broken by the partner, then it is necessary to steer clear of this person until you managed to become dependent on long-awaited, but obviously unpromising feeling “.